daivīṁ māyām upāśritya. prasupta iva bhinna-dṛk. tapye dvitīye 'py asati. bhrātṛ-bhrātṛvya-hṛd-rujā. Taking shelter of the Lord’s māyā, seeing differences, pained in the

daivīṁ māyām upāśritya

prasupta iva bhinna-dṛk

tapye dvitīye 'py asati

bhrātṛ-bhrātṛvya-hṛd-rujā

Taking shelter of the Lord’s māyā, seeing differences, pained in the heart by an enemy in the form of my brother, I suffer from illusory things, just like a person seeing a dream.

I was as if seeing a dream (prasuptaḥ). Though it is false (dvitīye), one experiences pain by visions of tigers or snakes. I uselessly suffered from pain in the heart by an enemy in the form of a brother. From the spiritual point of view, I and my brother are both jīvas, conditions of the taṭastha-śakti of the Lord. From the material perspective, though we are both made of the five elements, conditions of the Lord’s māyā-śakti, by the Lord’s māyā, I became bewildered, seeing him as an enemy.

 

|| 4.9.34 ||

mayaitat prārthitaṁ vyarthaṁ

cikitseva gatāyuṣi

prasādya jagad-ātmānaṁ

tapasā duṣprasādanam

bhava-cchidam ayāce 'haṁ

bhavaṁ bhāgya-vivarjitaḥ

I prayed for useless things, which are like medicine given to a dead person. Having pleased the Lord who is the soul of the universe, difficult to please by austerities, and who can destroy material existence, I prayed for material enjoyment, since I was devoid of good fortune.

Bhavam means objects of enjoyment, the cause of repeated birth.

|| 4.9.35 ||

svārājyaṁ yacchato mauḍhyān

māno me bhikṣito bata

īśvarāt kṣīṇa-puṇyena

phalī-kārān ivādhanaḥ

From the Lord who offered service to himself, out of pride I asked for material pride. It is just like a poor man who out of foolishness asks the emperor for a few small grains of rice.

Svārājyam means “he who is glorious in himself with bhakti” or “he who possesses his own king, he who is a servant.” The Lord gives the position of service (svārājyam) to his devotee. What pride I have (mānaḥ),) asking for material things. It is just like a poor man, having lost his intelligence (kṣīna-puṇyena), begging some grains of rice from the emperor. However, being clever and very generous, the king gives more wealth than one can imagine to that person. Similarly the Lord gave me his own abode to live in. Oh! I am the height of foolishness! What unlimited mercy and generosity of the Lord! Dhruva then became completely paralyzed in astonishment for a moment

.

 

|| 4.9.36 ||