samādhinā naika-bhavena yat padaṁ

dhruva uvāca

samādhinā naika-bhavena yat padaṁ

viduḥ sanandādaya ūrdhva-retasaḥ

māsair ahaṁ ṣaḍbhir amuṣya pādayoś

chāyām upetyāpagataḥ pṛthaṅ-matiḥ

Dhruva said: Having attained in six months the shade of the lotus feet of the Lord which Sanaka and others, strict brahmacārīs, do not attain by concentration in one lifetime, I fell from that position because of having other desires.

Naika-bhavena means “not in one life time.” Remembering that he was situated in the shade of the Lord who was seated on Garuḍa, Dhruva speaks. Having achieved that shade, I fell down (apagataḥ) because my mind was thinking of things other than the Lord (pṛthaṅ-matiḥ). Therefore the Lord did not take me to his abode with him.

 

 

|| 4.9.31 ||

aho bata mamānātmyaṁ

manda-bhāgyasya paśyata

bhava-cchidaḥ pāda-mūlaṁ

gatvā yāce yad antavat

See the foolishness of this unfortunate person! Having attained the lotus feet of the Lord who destroys material existence, I prayed for what is the perishable.

Anātmyam means that which is devoid of ātmā, the state of ignorance. Thought the devotee does not ask, the Lord destroys material existence for the devotee. I attained his lotus feet, just by having received Vaiṣṇava dikṣa. I prayed to attain what I had vowed, which is temporary. That is my fault. The Lord, however, by his mercy, gave me a place which is not temporary (verse 25).

|| 4.9.32 ||

matir vidūṣitā devaiḥ

patadbhir asahiṣṇubhiḥ

yo nārada-vacas tathyaṁ

nāgrāhiṣam asattamaḥ

My intelligence was bewildered by devatās who had fallen lower than what I would fall and were intolerant. Thus being most corrupt, I did not accept the advice of Nārada.

Dhruva imagines the cause of his ignorance. My intelligence was contaminated by the devatās who fall further than me and are therefore envious. Nārada’s words were “At this young age, do not consider the words of your step mother.” (SB 4.8.27)

 

|| 4.9.33 ||