During the moods and the tantrums the behavior of the parents should be based on three principles: try to understand, indicate the limits of the acceptable behavior and show compassion.

 

For example, you have already known that the baby really wants to be independent and at the same time he is afraid of losing the care of the parents. The contradictions torment him, and these results in a violent rejection of everything that is offered to him, in the whims or in hysteria, even in fits of the rage, when the child throws the toys, pushes you and fights. In no case, do not give into the baby, but do not respond with the rudeness to the rudeness. Staying calm, talk to him as an adult; do not think that he will not understand this. Ask what happened, and based on his story, try to understand the situation with him and find a compromise.

Explain to your child that you cannot accept their demands that there are the limits to everything, and that you are not going to indulge them.

At the same time show that you love him very much and sympathize with his experiences. Tell us that the adults cannot always do what they want, either. Promise that you will play an interesting game with him now.

 

When the four-years-old Maxim was put to bed, he always fiercely resisted getting up, walking around the room and playing in any game. His parents made him lie down again. This ended with swearing and whipping. Why did the boy behave like this? It is just that he was trying to attract the attention of his father and his mother in such the strange way. After the punishment, he calmed down, but the next day the situation was repeated. The parents became more and more angry and irritated, constantly scolded and punished the boy. It turned out to be a vicious circle that is the more the child was capricious the more he was punished, the more he was punished and the more he was stubborn. There was a real war going on. And usually in such the war, the children win, while spending much less effort than their parents. The kids quickly understand how “to bring” the adults and skillfully use it.

 

Some parents believe that the capricious child should be kept in tight hands, otherwise he will do God knows what. At the same time they do not take into account that often the child’s whims are associated with the fact that he lacks understanding and the warmth.

If the child refuses to sleep, this can be caused increased excitability of his nervous system. Ask your child to go to bed with his favourite toy or tell him a story, sing a lullaby.

The internal conflicts of the child can be expressed in a kind of “the regression”. He suddenly begins to speak badly, asks for the pacifier and requires feeding with a spoon. Not frighten. This is a typical reaction of the preschool children to the contradictions that torment them. In this way, the child is protected from the difficult situations and the incomprehensible one. Take these states into account, but do not be horrified by them. The regressive phenomena will pass over time. If they remain for a long time, contact a qualified specialist for help.

 

Try to communicate with your baby with the humor. Teach him to love the jokes and the entertainment. In some situations, you can tease him or laugh at yourself. The laughter can help you cope with the child’s whims and avoid the conflict situations.

 

About the parental love

Do not be afraid to show your baby that you love him. Some parents think that one cannot openly express their feelings for the child; otherwise he will grow up to be a pet and the sissy. Everything is good in moderation. There is a difference between constant exaggerated admirations for your child: “Oh, you are our beloved, you are our dear!” - both a true expression and natural one of love for him. It is unlikely that a woman will believe in the love of a man if she does not hear the words of the recognition. Why are we so afraid to tell our children that we love them? After all, they often exclaim themselves: “Mummy, I love you!” do not be shy about your feelings. The confirmation that he is loved is very important for the baby, especially when for some reason he is separated from his parents. In the numerous experiments it has been proven that the children who are hospitalized are better able to tolerate the separation from their parents and recover faster when they are sure that they are loved, rather than thinking that their parents have abandoned them there as the punishment for the bad behavior.

 

The five-years-old Olesya was capricious and shouted loudly every time when she did not like something. At the same time, she stamped her feet and threw the toys. The adults could not calm her down or persuade her. In the end, the parents decided to do so let the girl cry alone. But, so that she does not feel rejected, abandoned, her mother will talk to her affectionately and try to explain that everyone loves her in the family and they are very unpleasant to hear her cry. The parents have achieved their Olesya believed in the parental love, there were the fewer whims, and they completely stopped over time.

 

Some words about the ways to express the warm feelings. They can be both the verbal one and the nonverbal one. The verbal method is the oral expressions; the nonverbal method is the facial expressions and the gestures. Both ones are very important. Some parents believe that when the baby grows up, it is no longer necessary for him to have the physical contact with his parents. However, the experimental data shows that at the age of five years, this contact is necessary not only for the emotional development, but also for the mental one of the child.