The children can bear the dislike to the certain dishes for the kindergarten generally. The children are not able to explain why this has happened.

 

One of the most important and widespread reasons which the kid can refuse visiting the kindergarten in is the hated caregiver. I will give some examples from the conversations of the parents.

 

The letter

The mother: Antony got used to the kindergarten very quickly and makes friends with all the children. And everything would be good till the recent time. His caregiver Ann Nickolaivna left the job in the link with going to the new accommodation a month ago. And as if our child was changed that is he got being naughty, gloomy, talked cruelly with us, and the new caregiver Svetlana Ivanovna was called with the bad words by him and shouted that he would not go to the kindergarten any more. What was she so wrong to him? My husband and I liked her that is she was young, strict and energetic and she had had the high education.

 

The letter

The parents: There are two caregivers is Tatiana Aleksievna and Natalia Gennadiina working in our group as everywhere. We like both of them. But one of them is loved by the children, and other one is no. When Tatiana Aleksievna works in the evening, my kid will not be brought by us that are he always asks us to wait him playing more time. Other children do this way in the group. And they resent Natalia Gennadiina that is they do not want to play with her. Not only we, but other parents has talked to their children, having explained to them that it is needed to obey the adults, and the caregiver is even more so, but there is no the result. Anyway they have any problems. As a translator of this book I would like to tell you, the readers, it is necessary to find out the cause of these problems described above. Even other parents and we have wanted to write an announcement, besides where is the guarantee that the new caregiver will not be any worse.

I will remind that there is the list of the requirements which the kindergartens must coincide. These requirements determine the quality of care for the children. The list includes:

1) The appropriate place and the staff.

2) The availability necessary things for the children that is the toys, furniture and the facilities.

3) The tasty food both valuable and cooked very well and having the attractive kind.

4) The caregivers tuned warm and friendly to the children and the parents.

5) The facilities for the exercises and trainings.

6) The possibilities of the choice of the kind of the activities.

7)  The skills of the caregivers to interest and to involve the children to the games and the activities.

8) The safe facilities of the place and the playground.

9) The diet digestion for the needed children in it (both the weak ones and the ill ones).

10) The encouragement of the children.

11) The regular alternation of the active games and the quiet activities with the rest.

12) Taking part of the parents in the life of the kindergarten.

13) The regular holding conferences (meetings) with attracting the staff of the kindergarten.

14) The elements of the novelty and originality in the programs of the kindergarten.

15) The constant acting programs of the advanced training of the staff.

Six points given from the list is over a third of the requirements that concerning the installations and the skills of the staff of the kindergarten.

 

The children feel the mood and the attitude of working people keenly to them. They instantly recognize malevolence, insincerity and respond in kind that is depriving their love and respect. Therefore, if not only your kid, but also other caretakers refer to someone of the staff, the fact not their discourtesy, and in the caregiver. As the translator of the book I would like to tell you, dear parents, that I have faced with this problem on the practice too. In the beginning of March 2020 I started working as a teacher of English at school #10, the village Pervomayski, and it would perfect there, if not one teacher of this language who have not understand that she created that is plotting against me and playing with me as a toy, making fun of me, turning the team against me and she succeeded. In a word, the teacher of English was very and very bad... This is very long story and perplexing.

 

It is often in the category of the unfavourite caregivers occur those ones who being afraid for the life and safety of their caretakers excessively and unreasonably limit their [the children] freedom and their activity. “Stop running!”, “Where did you climb?”, “Stop waving with the sticks!” “Walk only on the kindergarten site!”, “What the game did you think?”, “Who permitted?” here is the typical expressions which indicate the fear of the personal responsibility of the employees for the children entrusted to them.

 

The babies of two or three years usually obey easily enough, but among the older children there is always a liberty loving person who will not put up with such the restrictions. Such the kids can arrange the escapes from the kindergarten that complicate the relationships with the caregiver even more.

There are such the cases when the caregivers inhibit the activity of the individual children with the punishments that is the babies are put in the locker room if they talk during the quiet time and the one feeds them forcibly if they [the kids] do not have time after the others or refuse from the food and so on. Such the behavior of the caregivers discourages the desire in the children also to visit the kindergarten.

At the last time more often and often the staff of the establishments – childlike, preschool – turns to me with the consultation about the kids remaining their behavior of the snails or the hermit crayfishes who live in their isolated worlds and reacting on the attempts of the cooperation with them going to their “shells”. They do not need in the collective communication; behave separately not having any friends. The cause of happening is so called the child’s loneliness and this thing is very awful enough and alas, widespread. A lot of parents deciding material, professional, personal and other problems provide the baby himself, limiting the relationships with him with the questions of going.

It is quite often such the kid is stopped to bring to the kindergarten so he does not fit into the team of the peers.

 

The letter

The mother: I educated my child at home. I was divorced with my husband when our daughter was not half a year jet. I did not want to see anyone. We lived this way that is Any and I. My friend sometimes came to see me. I brought my daughter to the garden for the toddlers and I had to take her back. There she was afraid, sat in the corner, cried and asked home. I have my heart still not a stone. She has four years old now, and also she keeps by the side from everybody individually from other children. In the yard when walking she does not come to the children, she continuous to sit on the branch next to me

 

The letter

The caregiver: We have the boy – isolated and unspeakable. He would sit alone for the whole day. He is not a fighter and has no any friends. He comes to the children very rarely and unwillingness, preferring to draw or look at the books. His mother is kind and communicative woman.

First of all, it is needed to understand that every person, in that number small, has the individual degree of the expression of needs. There are people who eat significantly less than the others and not because they follow the diet, but because their need for the food is not so great and the satiation occurs earlier.

The same happens with needs in the communication. In some people it is stronger, and the others – it is weaker. And if the adults can force themselves to maintain an uninteresting conversation out of the politeness, then the children, who express their thoughts more openly, will stop communicating simply.

It is often the traumatic circumstances become the reason of the preference of the loneliness and the unwillingness to go to the kindergarten. The kid can be offended there, called any bad words or made the nickname. After such the incidents he does not want to communicate with the children who have offended him, and sometimes even closes in himself.

It happens that playing in the kindergarten the child pushed his friend by chance, threw a snowball or the sand to his face. The view of the blood or the tears of the peer could make the strongest impression on the baby’s psyche. As a result that is the refusal from any games, walks or even going to the kindergarten. And to all the entreaties of his parents, he will respond with the inconsolable tears.

 

The insistence and the coercion on the part of the adults will only prevent the restoration of the child’s mental balance in this case. Therefore you should keep the patience and try to discuss this mishap quietly with the baby and help him to overcome the fear.

 

The unwillingness to visit the kindergarten can be because of the frequent illness of the kid. It is great when the children are well. Alas, it happens not always. Ten children for every thousand newborns already suffer from one or another disease. In addition to severe somatic and mental illness, the children are waited for injures and infection. It is exactly for this reason many children have to sit at home.

The behavior of the sick child differs from the behavior of the healthy one. Some children become extremely irritable, cry, shout, require the presence of the adult and immediately drive him away, refuse from the toys, the favourite dishes and sleep a little. The other ones, having fallen ill, get sad and indifferent and they are seized with the apathy.

The children sometimes try to cause the pity exaggerating their suffering to themselves.

The children having got sick often, who seldom go to the kindergarten, have the friends a little that cannot help worrying their parents and the caregivers and also the babies are suffered from it themselves.

 

Here is the example from the caregiver:

The letter

“There are a lot of children in each team who often miss the kindergarten from the illness. The attitude to them is special. No matter how hard I try to involve them [the sick kids] in the common games, other children avoid of them. The first part of the kids thinks those children infectious, the other ones consider that they are the bad friends and the unreliable companions that is if I make a deal with them and they get sick again”.

The tendency of the kids to the frequent illness makes the atmosphere of the disunity around them. The girls and the boys are under four years visiting one team organize the joint games that can last for some days. Each child gets his role by acquiring the status – certain and social. If the kid often stays at home, he will be come out of the game. Besides the strength of the friendships among the preschoolers is largely determined with the duration of their communication, therefore the desire to visit the kindergarten disappears as there they get bored and uninteresting that is they feel lonely.

Thus, there are a lot of the causes which the children do not wish to go the kindergarten in. The task of the parents is to help them to overcome all those problems about which the speech was above, having done everything possible to visit the kindergarten with the pleasure by the babies.

 

HOW TO CORRECT THE POSITION

 

So that the kid get used to the thinking that he must go to the kindergarten the speedy adaptation to its regime, you, the parents, can go in two ways.

The first way is the child must know with the first day that he has no any choice that is the visit of the kindergarten is inevitably. Then he will direct all his efforts to find the positive points of happening.

The liberalism will only complicate the situation. If the one sit in the locker room for an hour, listening to the heartbreaking weeping of its kid or interchange being in the kindergarten some days with a week that is at home or resort to taking the time reduction being the child in the team until one and a half or two days, the position will be still harder for you, your baby and staff of the kindergarten. The kid can feel that his parent is not ready to the fact that to leave him in the kindergarten that the final decision has not yet taken. This will create the false hope for him, which will only make worse the situation.

The second way consists in establishing the agreement with the head of the kindergarten and the caregiver about your being there altogether with the child for a time. Try to be in the team as long as it takes for the fact that the kid would finally get used to it and learn to do without your support. This can take the week, the month or even more but then you will be completely calm to leave him in the kindergarten.

Therefore if the question about necessity to bring the child in the kindergarten has decided finally, but it is not worth waiting for the moment when the baby would grow up and become independent. It is not nonbinding to do such the actions as to study to eat, to dress, to tie the shoelaces and to make the bed at home. Do not lose your efforts on the drill. It is better to use the time of your additional vacation taking care of the baby for things that is for more helpful and actual.

 

If you are not afraid of the separation from him, the most likely he will move it easier. It is especially nothing to fear that the contacts with other children reduce the baby’s affection for you. It is rather the opposite being in the kindergarten will strengthen the love of the kid to home and his parents.

 

I will tell you about the organization of waking up and sleep. The parents often worry about the fact as getting up the child early in the morning. After all, many preschoolers are awake till the late evening and go to bed together with the members of the family in the home condition. Their waking up is also not regulated and happens at ten o’clock in the morning, and at whom is closer to the dinner. The transition to the new mode starts with the attempts of putting the baby in the bed at eight o’clock in the evening. Even if it succeeds, the kid cannot fall asleep, and the parents have to spend the unpleasant hours by the bed of their baby plaguing him the requests to close his eyes and fall asleep.

The body of the small children is flexible enough. Rebuilding of the rhythms sleep and the wakefulness happen for two or three days. Therefore, it is worth only getting up the baby in needed time, and he will make up filling the deficit of sleep more last, day and the early one. This all will happen as a result of need of body with no persuading and the violence. And in order that the child woke up easy in the mornings, switch on the wakefulness music or come to wake up him with his favourite toy that is the bear, the cat, the monkey and others.

The problem of the refusal from the food by the kid in the kindergarten also can be decided at least partially. Do not try to feed the child at home until leaving to the kindergarten. There is nothing wrong to the fact that the child will wait for the meal till eight or nine o’clock of the morning even if he gets up at six or seven o’clock. The road to the kindergarten, the morning exercises and the games will set on the fire his appetite which means there will be fewer vagaries about the porridge, butter, top of milk and other unpleasant, from point of view of the kid, things. It is especially concerned of the children who have the bad appetite in the home conditions. If such the child has breakfast at home, it is impossible to make him to eat in the team.

 

It will be useful to warn the staff of the kindergarten about the tastes of the baby. But this should be done in his absence when he left the playground room or dealt with other children as the familiar talking how the child to commit would appropriate that is he will only be grizzle stronger and insist upon the refusal from the food explaining it with the words to his mother and his grandmother.

 

The first time the baby can be given the apple and the carrot with him. If, refusing from the unfavourite dish, he gets hungry then he will eat this stock. Do not only the bar of chocolate and any candies and cookies to him. After all other children will look at him with jealousy.

The caregivers often should use any play situations for creating the interest in the kids in the usage of the food, and not just force them to eat everything that is put. So, the interested call to relieve Parsley sooner, depicted on the plate, from the soup will act on the children faster than the threats and the attempts at force-feeding from the spoon, causing the child to retaliate aggressively.

Some words about the children with the bad appetite. The need in the food reduced slightly compared to the generally accepted standards in the significant people. The concept of the norm is generally very vague that is from the European or the American’s point of view we eat outrageous lot but the population of Scandinavia or the aborigines of the mountains would think the volume of the consumed food by us not enough. Therefore, if your child eats less, than you, or less the fact, that is shown with the standards, this does not still mean that he does not eat up. If his healthy does not deteriorate, there are no any causes for worrying.

I will give an example. In the recent past the well-known gymnast Olga Korbut ate very little till twelve years that is in the morning she drank the black coffee without sugar, at lunch she ate the apple and a slice of the grey bread. Such the type of the nutrition did not interfere the training both intensive and physical of the girl who was preparing to the performance at the European Championships and the world.

Moreover, the appetite is only one of the signs of the need for our body in the food. Its satisfaction is affected with both the amount of the food taken and its calorie contents. Watch after your kid attentively, perhaps he gains the necessary amount of the calories for the growth and the development by eating too many sweets available to him. The nutritionists counted that two ice creams by the calorie content replace the full dinner. It is likewise, having swallowed two or three sweets, a waffle, three cookies before the dinner, the baby is quite able to do without a second dish and even without ones both first and second dishes combined.

But there are the children who eat badly exactly in the kindergarten. The reasons of such the behavior can be the very different. It is needed to be analyzed separately in each specific situation. I will notice that the kid gets his norm during the evening meal at home, so this is his individual way of solving problem. Certainly, the parents can be unpleased such the position of the affairs but there is nothing wrong in it.