The communication with the adults and the contacts with the peers should constantly alternate, because the children are united not only with the same age, but also with the common interests.

 

The child behaves differently with the children than with the adults that are he is more relaxed, because he is not afraid of misjudging his actions by the adults, who are “always right”; more independent, because there are no “the caring” parents who are ready to help at any moment. Thus, the contacts with the peers have a positive impact on the social development of the child, helping him to find the independence.

At the same time, they need to communicate with you no less. Spend more time in the circle of your family on weekends. You can go to the circus with your whole family, come to someone to visit or take a walk in the park.

Communicate with your child on an equal basis. Try to listen to him carefully. Encourage him when he asks the questions, and ask them yourself. Show the interest as much as possible in what your baby lives, what he does in your absence and what he thinks. Try to involve him in the family conversations, consult with him. Give the freedom of the choice to him, do not impose your decisions and let him feel like the full member of the family.

 

Do not yell at the child, even if he is wrong. Shouting and pulling will not have the positive effect in a critical situation. Even if the child obeys you and fulfills all your requirements, this does not mean that he agreed with you. Such the behavior both yours and your kid’s is another step towards the mutual alienation. Try to change the tone of the communication that is let it be decisive, but not shouty.

 

Unfortunately, the most parents are not able to listen to their child. As a rule, the conversations boil down to the fact that the parents “educate” the child, indicating what is right and what is not, how to behave, and how not to… The child cannot refuse such “the conversations” and he is forced to listen to the lengthy lectures, or rather, pretend to listen, because it is simply not able to take the words of an eloquent parent thoughtfully for a long time. This is due to the age characteristics of the child, who is not able to keep the attention on one thing for a long time.

Learn to listen to the child; do not interrupt him with your remarks. You seem only that he has no anything to tell. Give him the opportunity to speak out, and you will understand that his inner world is much richer than you thought that the baby has his own joys and the problems. Maybe something in his experiences will seem funny and not worthy of the serious attention, but in no the case do not show it and do not laugh at the child, it can complicate your relationship seriously and distance you from each other. Do not take a dominant position in the conversation; do not try to impose your child’s solution to the particular problem.

If you feel the need for your intervention, do it unobtrusively, gradually that is so that the child is convinced that he made the decision on his own. Give up the role of the all-knowing head of the family, whose the decision is always correct, and become the friend to the baby. Search for the truth together, support each other, and exchange the opinions. This will be the basis of your close relationship.

The quiet conversations with your kid will not only help create the atmosphere of the trust between you, but also give the new information about the world around them to your child, which is so necessary at this age. After all, this is all simple and familiar to you, and he is still very young, he needs to learn, understand and remember a lot.

 

Thanks to such the conversations, the baby will feel your attention, understand that you perceive him as the independent person completely and believe that you are pleased with his company, the interesting communication with him. This will help prevent the emergence of the complex of “uselessness”, “abandonment” or overcome an existing one.

 

The casual conversations with the child will have the invaluable influence on the development of his speech, teach him to express his thoughts accurately and briefly and this is of the great importance for the development of the communication abilities. The developed speech of the child will facilitate his entry into a new team greatly, for example, when entering the school, the rapprochement with the unfamiliar children. It is not equally important is the ability to express your thoughts clearly and to assert yourself in a new team, because this is the key to good academic performance, which gives a sense of the self-confidence, necessary when communicating with the peers.

Some parents sometimes object: “What kind of the conversations can we talk about if the child is only three or four years old. He cannot even talk properly yet”. Note that this statement is only partially true. Yes, the child of this age still has a very small vocabulary, but this is not the reason to abandon this method of the education. It is even with the newborns, it is recommended to talk as much as possible. At an early age, there is the natural connection between the parents and the child, which develops into a spiritual understanding later and becomes the basis of the child’s relationship with the surrounding world. In addition, how can you develop the child’s speech and add to his vocabulary, if you almost do not talk to the baby?

Try to spend the time communicating with your child every day at least a little. It is worth taking fifteen minutes to break from your regular business to talk or play with your baby, and he will not feel lonely, abandoned. If you do something around the house, if possible, involve the child in this, giving some feasible tasks to him. Offer to do the necessary work together, and then play. This way out of this situation is the most optimal that is the child gets the opportunity to communicate with you both at the work and in the game, because nothing brings people like working and playing together.

 

Talking with the child, listening to his stories, playing with him, the attentive mother and father will notice the achievements and gaps in the development of the baby and will be able to apply the necessary methods of the education in a timely manner, so that the child will grow into a full-fledged person ready to overcome any difficulties.

 

THE INNER FREEDOM

 

The simple psychological tasks will help speed up the process of the inner liberation of the closed baby. Be sensitive and attentive to the child, be patient, and after a while you will see that your child is able to overcome the isolation and experience the great sense of the joy from communicating with the different people, and first of all with you.

Almost all the children like to fantasize. Their imagination is especially evident in drawing, modeling and writing the extraordinary stories. Drawings and the crafts will tell you about the general development of the child, his character and the abilities (the neatness or the carelessness, the imagination developed or undeveloped). In addition, the creative activities will be had the positive impact on the development of the child’s communication abilities.

Invite your child to play the game “Blots” (it is recommended to spend it with the children of five or six years old). There are ten different ink blots on the piece of paper; the child must come up with what they look like. Do not limit his time; let him look at the spots as much as he needs. In his answers, pay the attention to the following:

1) The monotony can mean a lack of the imagination or a very great interest in the chosen subject (for example, all the blots look like the cats in different poses);

2) The child can think of something hardly or cannot offer anything at all. This means that the child has the developed imagination poorly, or maybe you just chose an unfortunate moment for the game (for example, the child is in a bad mood or his thoughts are busy with something else);

3) In each blot, he saw some figure or an object that is he has the rich imagination.

 

The failure to complete this task is associated with a low level of the development of the imagination. A very detailed description of each figure, accompanied by a lengthy story about it, can mean that your child is inclined to go into the world of their fantasies, ignoring surrounding its reality. In these cases, it is better to consult the child psychologist.

 

The game “The miracle-beast” is quite informative, when the child is asked to draw or make an animal out of plasticine that does not exist in the world. The children usually make up a story about their animal, but you can ask the child some questions (for example, what is the name of this creature, where it lives, and so on). Note, please – is the fictional animal too aggressive, or is it very lonely and unhappy? Perhaps this is how the child tells you about himself and his problems.

 

Encourage your child to tell the stories to you, try telling them one at a time that is everyone can be the narrator several times throughout the story.

Try to come up with a new fairy tale with familiar characters together with your child. Let in one fairy tale meet Vasilisa the wise and the sister Alyonushka, and the scarlet flower will go to look for the heroes of the fairy tale “Turnip”, “The bun” will help little red riding Hood, and Pinocchio will fly on a magic carpet...

You can compose a collective fairy tale, the characters of which will be the favorite toys of your child. Each of the participants in the creation of the fairy tale comes up with one sentence in turn, attaching it to the previous one, without violating the general plot.

Ask the child to think about several psychological situations. Ask him to answer what he would have done in each of the situations and explain why.

1) You have made a tall beautiful tower out of the blocks and you want to show it to your father, who is watching TV at this time. The father asks you to wait until the sports show is over. What will you do and why?

2) You are visited by the complete strangers (the adults with their children). How will you behave?

3) If your parents ask you to go to your room during a visit, how will you react?

4) Your parents and you came to visit where there are the children of the same age as you. They call you to play in their room. How will you behave?

5) You went out into the yard and saw that there were the new guys among your old friends. How will you behave?

6) You go on the train or the bus with your mother, an unfamiliar uncle or an aunt tries to talk to you. How are you going to behave?

7) After listening to the child’s answers, ask him to imagine what will happen next in each situation. Discuss with him whether it is possible to do so without offending anyone.

Come up with your own cases or analyze those in which your child had to get in the reality. The variety of situations discussed will help the child to behave more confidently even in the most critical moments, and as well as learn to think about the consequences of his actions.