The adults, maybe, should talk to the caregiver about the tablemate of the baby. The cause can be in fact that they speak something offended for your child.

 

The baby can be confused with the unusual atmosphere. If he eats in the kitchen or love doing it listening the music if his feeding escorts with reading the books or watching TV programs traditionally, the first time in the kindergarten he can refuse from the food simply because he lacks the unusual incentives after all there are some children who are fed exactly in this case impossibly to feed at a party. It is over time, this problem resolves by itself, so do not worry if the child loses the appetite in the first weeks of being in the kindergarten.

This all speaks about the fact that the fears and worrying of his mothers and his grandmothers for the most part exaggerated. The normal atmosphere in the kindergarten and at home will resolves the situation soon and you will do without visiting the pediatricians and nutritionists, “the interrogations with an addition” about what was given in the kindergarten today for the breakfast or the lunch and whether you ate everything.

The problem of the kid’s unloving to the caregiver to decide harder a little. In order to win over the babies, the caregiver must be able to encourage the initiative and the activity of the children, having interested them in the activity both joint and play using the positive means of the stimulation and controlling their behavior. Some caregivers manage it easily, to other ones, more often to the young caregivers; such the experience goes over the years.

If the kid does not get along with the caregiver rather cruelly reproach the baby for the rudeness and the bad manners. This is far not every team of the preschoolers are able to find the affair for themselves that would be interested, fascinatingly and did not cause any censures of the staff. The most often the children are required the strength both guiding and directing of the caregivers. The inability or the unwillingness of the caregiver to work the team leads to the growth of the discontent among the kids and can serve an excuse for their refusal to go to the kindergarten.

 

The parents should think about transferring the child to another team or the kindergarten without falling into hysterics, without making the cheap scenes for the teachers in this case. Keep yourself in your hands. As the example, as the translator of this book and, accordingly, as the writer of it, I would like to share my sad experience. Some years ago I work as a tutor and I was approached for help by the young mother of the twelve-years-old girl. Starting to work with this girl as if testing it, I realized that the girl is somewhat peculiar that is she did not want to study and was rude to me that is the girl was simply not manageable. I told this to my client, the girl’s mother but she flatly refused to listen to me and carried such the nonsense that my ears rolled into a tube. This has been four years the mother of my former student meets me in the street and shows me the fucks and shouts at the top of her voice nonsense… After all the kid’s whims and other forms of the protest are never groundless.

 

At the same time the preschoolers extremely important to know that they are worthy of the parental love. It is bad enough that the kids are forced to communicate with an unloved caregiver psychologically rejected by them. But even worse when people who are loved by them [the children], lose the patience and get angry at them for not being restrained and sincerely expressing the feelings. The child’s emotions are like an awl in the bag that cannot be hidden. If the preschoolers could direct their emotions, then they would be the adults. Therefore, try to find out the reason of the dissatisfaction of the kid and knowing it, decide that you will do in order to help him. Otherwise the childhood – proverbial and happy will be poisoned with the heartbreaking experiences and the heartache.

 

Some kids tease and offend in the kindergarten and because they refuse to go there. The most effective the parents will help their child not protecting him every step of the way, but encouraging and instilling the faith in themselves.

The letters quite often contain the requests from the parents like this one:

 

The letter

“I would like that you gave the advice how to teach the children to behave when they are cruelly teased and how to allow them to tease the others.”

 

The most often the lovers to tease are the boys. What is connected with? The boys are aggressive from the beginning of the birth than the most of the girls, but at the same time as the natural measure of the precautionary they have and more perfect system of the control of the aggressiveness, the further development that the parents and the caregivers must pay the attention.

The teasers can occurs be ache for the psyche of the person both little and impressionable. After all he lived still too small in the world in order to ramp up “the thick leather” for any kind of the trick and to study not to attract the attention to the sneers and the fact that the ones laugh at him, the kid starts understanding very early and suffers his humiliation and helplessness enough sharply.

What the way can you, the parents, protect the child who is teased and bullied? There is no usually any use from changing of the kindergarten or the residence. In every kindergarten there will be a mocker or the bully who will certainly show himself in an hour or two after that as your baby will stay in the childlike team.

Can the one protect the kids from the tricks purely physical? It is sometimes is yes, it is much more often is no. The one can stop the mockers of the kindergarten age for that time while the parent is watching the child is nearby, but after his leaving the prohibition, as a rule, acts not long.

If the one looks closely at this problem, the one can understand that the confident children, more independent children who do not hold for their “mother’s skirt” will ever let themselves be offended. The mother who the acute sense of the anxiety makes to be overprotective for the kid can raise the feeling in him that only next to her he is in safety, all other people are dangerous.

 

If the mother having listened to the complaints of the baby – crying and frightened, – begins to speak of his tormentor with the exaggerated indignation, the kid can have an inadequate impression of the danger to which he was exposed and which can be exposed again.

 

The mother must not behave this way. It is better to distract the attention of the baby with something other that is interesting, and be quiet herself demonstrating under this confidence that it will be all right. If the child cannot calm down, teach him how easily and with the dignity to survive the tricks or how better fight back if the need arises. As one of the versions, you should advise him do not show that he is offended or do not attract the attention on the abuser demonstratively or to speak the mocker quietly with the dignity: “Leave me along that is I do not offend you and you do not touch me”, if it would be easy to say it is easier than to do it, especially for the impressible kids or even the adults. The relationships between people are very complex and it is impossible to adapt to each other. And also in the kindergarten the caregivers must not indifferently look at the fact as some kids tease and offend the others. The one can do differently that is to scold the mocker in the presence of all team of those children who tease in order to be ashamed to them for it or to give any other kind of the activity to them to distract their attention from the undesirable situation. Everything depends upon the specific case and demands the individual approach.

This way as you, parents, as caregivers can help to smooth out the unpleasant situations which discourage the kids to visit the establishments – childlike, preschooler, and to do the best so that the baby went to the kindergarten with pleasure.