If the baby does not work, help him. And remember the main fear that torments the child, and use it in the story being composed.

 

The effect of such the story on the baby can be dramatized with the help of the dolls – and soft toys – and let the child distribute the roles himself. This small performance can be supplemented with the masks, the costumes, the songs and the poems. Playing the same story related to overcoming the fear, the child ceases to be afraid himself because the fear in the most cases causes only the unknown. And if he really understood what the fear is and how to deal with it, he becomes less afraid.

When the child plays the conditional stories, you can go to the staging of the real events that happened to the baby or to the person he knows. You can also stage scenes from the life. For example, suggest that the baby play in the way you put him to sleep: he will be the mother, and the role of the baby take over (= in the role of the baby can act and a soft toy or the doll). Explain to your child how to behave in the particular situation, so as not to feel the fear. The child, feeling like an adult and looking at their fears from the outside, can just laugh, so funny it looks. Even deep-seated fear can be easily overcome with this final exercise.

As you have seen, the problem of children’s fears is very relevant. And if your child is subject to the fears and the nightmares, your task is to help him cope with them and feel confident. It is necessary to establish the cause of children’s fears and try to eliminate it. If the restless state of the child is associated with the strained relations in the family, then in order for him to stop being afraid, you must establish the family world, learn to be friendly with him.

 

If the fears have gone very far and along with them the baby is experiencing a number of other psychological problems, only the specialist can help him, who will advise how to act in this or that case. In most cases, with the understanding and support of the parents, the child can completely overcome all their fears on their own.

Part 4

 

If the baby is capricious

 

Why is the child naughty?

My dear parents! If you have taken this difficult task of being the parents on yourself, you will have to learn all the details of one of the greatest sciences in the world are the science of the raising children. And this is, oh, so difficult, not speaking that it is even more difficult to apply the theory of the education in the practice, and even to the own child. Knowing the theory of the education of the child does not mean that you know how to raise the children. Having carefully studied the theory of the education, you can safely proceed to the application of the practical knowledge of the education of your own child.

Imagine that you are going to work, in a hurry, and your favourite child begins to act out of the blue, cry, and then beat in hysterics. You grab your head and do not know what to do. Or at the table, the baby suddenly refuses to eat, screams, throws a spoon, and no forces can calm him down and feed. The baby sometimes refuses to sleep. In the middle of the night, he suddenly starts calling you loudly, without thinking about sleep. As if he tests your patience and you sit by his bed with half-closed eyes, struggling with sleep, and tell him the same story for the third time. What was happening to him?

It turns out that at the age of three or five years, the child undergoes a restructuring, in the process of which he acquires a new experience, begins to understand more, to experience the emotional conflicts more acutely. It is at this time the baby begins to act up learning that there is the words “yes, you can” in the world and the words “no, you cannot”.

Some pediatricians call this age “the first age of the stubbornness” (the second one refers to twelve or fourteen years). That is how suddenly your seemingly the docile little son or the daughter become capricious and obstinate, stubbornly refuse to fulfill any requirements, while they can behave very ugly stomping their feet, crying, screaming, throwing everything that gets under their hands, throwing themselves on the floor, trying in this way to achieve the desired.

The causes of these hysterical attacks are usually very simple, but any adults do not always recognize them immediately.

Thus, why is the child naughty? There are several the possible and alternative ((= fre. alternative, from lat. alternatus – other) that is the ability to choose one of two or more excluding possibilities, as well as each of these ones.) answers to this question. But we will consider only five main options.

The first option. The child is capricious, crying if something bothers him, he is sick, he does not understand it. After all, young children cannot feel what is happening in their body, as the adults feel and understand it.

The second option. The kid wants to attract the attention for himself. He chose this way to chat with you because he is lacked your society and your love. The need for “need for another” is one of the basic needs of a person.

The third option. Grizzling, the child wants to achieve the desired that is a gift, the permission to walk or something else that the parents forbid from some incomprehensible motives to the baby.

The fourth option. The child protests against excessive guardianship and demonstrates a desire to be independent. This is quite natural if you follow an authoritarian parenting style (= you said – your child did without fail. Thirty-three percent out of a hundred one is correct, taking all three parenting styles into account together), after all, he wants to be independent, and you are constantly leading him “You will wear this shirt!”, “This cannot be done!” “Stop looking around!” and etc.

The fifth option. There is no any reason that could have caused the hysteria. It is simply an expression of the child’s conflict with himself. Maybe he did not get sleep enough today. Or he was very tired during the day, and so he got cranky? Your family quarrels, the scandals can also affect his mood. Think and analyze everything! As Janusz [¢jɒnʊʃ] Korczak [¢kɔːʧæk] said “the child is undisciplined and angry because he suffers”. In the causes of his suffering the answer lies to the question why he is capricious.

Now let us look at each option in more detail and try to understand the reasons for this or that the behavior of the child and how to help him cope with himself.

The baby got sick

The whims of the child can be the evidence that he is ill, but he cannot tell about it, because he does not understand what is happening to him.

 

One of the signs of the disease is a change in the behavior. At the same time, the appetite usually reduces; the baby is easily excited, cries for no the reason, then lies down on the sofa, then sits with an indifferent look. The attentive parents will notice these changes immediately and proceed to the further examination.

 

Touch his forehead. Measure the temperature for more confidence, because the increase of the temperature is the result of the contamination of the body with any infection. It is sometimes hard to tell by eye. There are some children who play at the temperature of thirty-eight or thirty-nine and a half degrees Celsius [¢selsɪəs] without realizing that they are ill.

The first manifestation of a cold can be a running nose. In this way, the body usually tries to stop the infection. The cough can also indicate that the disease has begun. The runny nose, the cough and the shortness of the breath (= the dyspnea is a violation of the function of the external respiration accompanied with both the objective symptoms and a subjective feeling of the lack of the air manifesting in the form of a heavy, painful and long whistle) occur, for example, in the diseases of the respiratory system, as well as both the acute diseases and the infectious ones.

Ask the child if his ears hurt. It is exactly during the otitis (= the otitis is the acute inflammation or the chronic one in the various parts of the ear (external, middle and internal). It is manifested with the pain in the ear (pulsating, shooting and aching), the temperature of the body increases, the hearing impairment, the noise in the ears, the mucous-purulent secretions from the external, the auditory canal), the children are particularly restless and capricious.

The children of the preschool age often have an abdominal pain, and not necessarily as a sign of some disease. The abdominal pain is sometimes noted in the nervous children with the increased excitability.

Another true sign of the illness is a headache because it rarely bothers the healthy children.

See what the child’s stool and the urine is whether there is the vomiting. The frequent urination can be one of the symptoms of a cold of the bladder and the urinary tract, less often the kidney disease. The diarrhea indicates a digestive disorder both the infectious one and non-infectious one. The nervous children, on the contrary, are prone to the constipation. The first sign of the disease can be the vomiting.

Examine the child’s body to see if there is a rash on it. The cause of its occurrence is the infectious diseases and the allergy. And the rash appears before the other signs of the infection.

The specific colour of the skin also indicates the presence of some disease, for example, the cyanosis ((= the ancient-Greek. “dark-blue + -ωσις”) – the bluish colour of the skin and the mucous membranes from the grayish-blue one to the blue-black one, conditioned with the high blood levels of the hemoglobin (HbCO₂). The cyanosis, caused by the ingress of dyes into the blood or the deposition of the various substances in the skin is called the false cyanosis) indicates a sick heart and the yellowness indicates the jaundice (= the jaundice (1. the disease of the Gospel, 2. Bodkin’s disease), that is, hepatitis A, is a disease characterized by yellowing of the skin and the mucous membranes of the eyes.), etc.

So, there are a lot of the ways to find out if the baby is sick. This is an examination, a conversation with the child, and the watching him. In any case, if you have come to the conclusion that he is ill, show him to the pediatrician as soon as possible. I do not advise you to self-medicate, it is very dangerous and especially if the baby cannot correctly explain what is wrong with him (= he cannot explain and he must not do it. Only a mother must see that something wrong with the child).

Be ready to the fact that the sick children are very naughty. Everybody is known that to sick is badly. The sick child cannot run and play that is he lies in the bad and suffers. It is often to get that the relatives try to do everything possible for the sick child in order him to be well. They [the children] are in the center of the adults’ attention, the children are got and paid any toys, the sweets, fruits and indulged their whims. Is it necessary the adults to do that? After all, the baby realizing it that when he is sick, everything is done for him in home that is he can resort to the simulation of the disease in the future.