XVI. Try your hand at teaching.

1. Say what yon would do in the teacher's position:

During a music lesson, while the teacher tried to demonstrate the rhythm of a song, Pete took two pencils and proceeded to drum on a book. The teacher stopped playing and demanded to know who was drumming. No reply came forth, so she resumed her playing. This very instant the drumming started again. The teacher, who had been on the alert, caught Pete in the act.

2. Practise your "Classroom English".

Play the part of the teacher and get your pupils to write a spelling test on the board.

a) Prepare a test on the vocabulary of Unit Two at home.

b) Ask several pupils to write the words on the board.

c) Make sure that the board is properly prepared for writing on it: the writing it eligible; all the mistakes are corrected; the whole class is involved. (See "Classroom English", Sections IV. VIII, IX)

IABORATORY EXERCISES (I)

1. Listen to the text "A Day's Wait", mark the stresses and tunes, repeat the text following the model.

2. Paraphrase the following sentences, combining them into one conditional sentence. Make all necessary changes.

3. Respond to the following sentences according to the model. Use the inverted form of conditional sentences in your responses.

4. Extend the following sentences according to the model. Use the verbs suggested.

5. Write a spelling-translation test a) translate the phrases into English; b) check them with the key.

6. Translate the sentences into English and check them with the key. Repeat the key aloud.

7. Listen to the text "Patients Needed" some other text on the topic. Find English equivalents of the Russian phrases in the text. Retell the text in indirect speech.

TOPIC: ILLNESSES AND THEIR TREATMENT

TEXT A. A VICTIM TO ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEN FATAL MALADIES

From "Three Men in a Boat" by Jerome K. Jerome

I remember going to the British Museum one day to read up the treatment for some slight ailment. I got down the book and read all I came to read; and then, in an unthinking moment, I idly turned the leaves and began to study diseases, generally. I forgot which was the first, and before I had glanced half down the list of "premonitory symptoms", I was sure that I had got it.

I sat for a while frozen with horror; and then in despair Г again turned over the pages. I came to typhoid fever — read the symptoms — discovered that I had typhoid fever— began to get interested in my case, and so started alphabetically.

Cholera I had, with severe complications; and diphtheria I seemed to have been bom with. I looked through the twenty-six letters, and the only disease I had not got was housemaid's knee.

I sat and thought what an interesting case I must be from a medical point of view. Students would have no need to "walk the hospitals" if they had me. I was a hospital in myself. All they need do would be to walk round me, and, after that, take their diploma.

Then I wondered how long I had to live. I tried to examine myself. I felt my pulse. I could not at first feel any pulse at all. Then, all of a sudden, it seemed to start off. I pulled out my watch and timed it. I made it a hundred and forty-seven to the minute. I tried to feel my heart. I could not feel my heart. It had stopped beating. I patted myself all over my front, from what I call my waist up to my head but I could not feel or hear anything. I tried to look at my tongue. I stuck it out as.far as ever it would go, and I shut one eye and tried to examine it with the other. I could only see the tip, but I felt more certain than before that I had scarlet fever.

I had walked into the reading-room a happy, healthy man. I crawled out a miserable wreck.

I went to my medical man. He is an old chum of mine, and feels my pulse, and looks at my tongue, and talks about the weather, all for nothing, when I fancy I'm ill. So I went straight up and saw him, and he said:

"Well, what's the matter with you?"

I said:

"I will not take up your time, dear boy, with telling you what is the matter with me. Life is short and you might pass away before I had finished. But 1 will tell you what is not the matter with me. Everything else, however, I have got."

And I told him how I came to discover it all,

Then he opened me and looked down me, and took hold of my wrist, and then he hit me over the chest when I wasn't expecting it — a cowardly thing to do, I call it After that, he sat down and wrote out a prescription, and folded it up and gave it me, and I put it in my pocket and went out.

I did not open it, I took it to the nearest chemist's, and handed it in. The man read it, and then handed it back. He said he didn't keep it.

I said:

"You are a chemist?"

He said:

"1 am a chemist. If I was a co-operative stores and family hotel combined, 1 might be able to oblige you."

I read the prescription. It ran:

"1 lb.[16] beefsteak, with

1 pt.[17] bitter beer

every six hours.

1 ten-mile walk every morning.

1 bed at 11 sharp every night.

And don't stuff up your head with things you don't understand."

I followed the directions with the happy result that my life was preserved and is still going on.

NOTES ON SYNONYMS

1. (See Note 1 on p. 18.) Synonyms may also differ by the degree or intensity of the phenomenon described or by certain additional implications conveyed by their meanings. E. g. malady describes a more dangerous illness than disease, sometimes a fatal one, whereas ailment mostly refers to a slight disorder. Malady implies a lasting, sometimes a chronic illness, whereas ailment is short and temporary. Illness is the most general word in the group (the synonymic dominant).

2. Synonyms may differ by their stylistic characteristics. E. g. chum is a colloquial synonym of Mend, to fancy sounds less formal than to imagine. To pass away is a bookish synonym of to die.

TEXT B. A VISIT TO THE DOCTOR

— Well, what's the matter with you, Mr. Walker?

— You'd better ask me what is not the matter with me, doctor. I seem to be suffering from all the illnesses imaginable: insomnia, headaches, backache, indigestion, constipation and pains in the stomach. To make things still worse, I've caught a cold, I've got a sore throat and I'm constantly sneezing and coughing. To crown it all, I had an accident the other day, hurt my right shoulder, leg and knee, and nearly broke my neck. If I take a long walk, I get short of breath. In fact, I feel more dead than alive.

— I'm sorry to hear that. Anyhow, I hope things aren't as bad as you imagine. Let me examine you. Your heart, chest and lungs seem to be all right. Now open your mouth and show me your tongue. Now breathe in deeply, through the nose... There doesn't seem to be anything radically wrong with you, but it's quite clear that you're run down, and if you don't take care of yourself, you may have a nervous breakdown and have to go to hospital. I advise you, first of all, to stop worrying. Take a long rest, have regular meals, keep to a diet of salads and fruit, and very little meat Keep off alcohol. If possible, give up smoking, at least for a time. Have this tonic made up and take two tablespoonfuls three times a day before meals. If you do this, I can promise you full recovery within two or three months.

— And if I don't, doctor?

— Then you'd better make your will, if you haven't yet done so.

— I see. Well, thank you, doctor. 1 shall have to think it over and decide which is the lesser evil: to follow your advice or prepare for a better world.

TEXT C. AT THE DENTISTS

Nell: Hello, is that you Bert? Nell here. I'm so glad I've found you in.

Bert: Hello, Nell. How's things?

N.: Fine. Listen, Bert. I'm bursting with news. Just imagine: yesterday I had the first real patient of my own.

В.: You don't say! Who was it?

N.: A nice old dear with a lot of teeth to be pulled out. It's such wonderful practice for me!

В.: Are you quite sure that some of his teeth couldn't be filled?

N.: None of them! I sent him to have his teeth X-rayed, so it's all right.

В.: How did you manage to get such a marvellous patient, I wonder?

N.: He came with a bad toothache. It had been bothering him for a day or two already.

В.: Were there no other dentists in the surgery?

N.: No, I was the only one. It was Sunday.

В.: Poor old thing! I hope you didn't try to pull out all his teeth at once, did you?

N.: Don't be silly. I just chose the easiest one to begin with.

В.: I see... And how did you get along?

N.: Wonderfully. I tested his blood pressure and gave him a couple of injections, though he said that my smile worked better than any injection.

В.: Oh, he did, did he? And he didn't have heart attack after the tooth was taken out? It would have been natural for an old man.

N.: No, he just felt a bit sick and giddy. I gave him с tonic and told him to stay in bed for a while and take his temperature.

В.: Perhaps I'd better drop in and check his heart? I'm on sick leave now and can do it at any time.

N.: You needn't. I'll ring him up and in case he's running a high temperature I'll let you know. But I do hope he won't. The day after tomorrow he's coming again,

В.: Are you sure he's not going to make an appointment with some other dentist?

N.: I don't think he will. When he was leaving he said he looked forward to having all his teeth pulled out and he would keep them all as souvenirs to remember me by.

В.: Well, I wish you good luck. Hope to hear from you soon. Bye for now, Nell.

N.: Good-bye, Bert. I'll let you know how things are going on.

Memory Work
For every evil under the sun.
There is a remedy, or there is none.
If there be one, try to find it.
If there be none, never mind it.

ESSENTIAL VOCABULARY (П)

Words

appendicitis n insomnia n

attack (of smth.) n prescription n

case (of a disease) n recover (from a disease) υ

cholera n remedy n

complication n scarlet fever n

cough υ, n sneeze о

cure of υ sore (throat, eye, finger, etc.) adj

cure for n surgery n

die of υ symptom n

diphthertia n tonic n

disease n treat υ (smb. for a disease)

indigestion n treatment (for smth.) n

injection n typhoid fever n

Word Combinations

to feel smb.'s (one's) pulse to write out a prescription (for pills, etc.)

to go to a chemist's (drugstore) to follow the doctor's directions

to catch (a) cold to have an accident

to be short of breath to examine a patient (smb.'s throat etc.)

to breathe in deeply to consult (see) a doctor

to have a nervous breakdown to keep to a diet (of...); to be on (go on), follow a diet

to have a prescription (medicine, mixture, tonic, etc.) made up

to take medicine (a spoonful of, etc.)

to be wrong with (one's heart, lungs, etc.); to have smth. wrong with

to be taken ill (to fall ill) with to be laid up with

to feel sick (and giddy) to fill smb.'s tooth

to have one's tooth filled, to have a filling

to pull (take) out a tooth = to have an extraction

to have one's tooth pulled out (taken out), extracted

to be (have one's teeth, chest, heart, etc.) X-rayed

to test smb.'s blood to have one's blood tested

to test smb.'s blood pressure to have one's blood pressure tested

to have, get (give) an injection (a needle)

to have a heart attack

to check smb.'s heart, lungs, etc.; to sound smb.'s heart, lungs, etc.

to be on sick leave; to get sick leave

to make an appointment with a doctor

Examples

He was taken to hospital and operated on (underwent an operation) for appendicitis.

After I've had some injections of tonic I feel quite cured of all my ailments.

The child is ill (laid up) with chicken pox (ветрянка). He'll soon recover if no complications set in.

Smallpox (оспа) is a catching (заразная) disease marked by fever and small red spots on the body and often leaves permanent marks.

I've been on sick leave for a fortnight already, but I don't feel any better so far.

The doctor diagnosed the illness as tuberculosis (t. b.).

A doctor who performs (carries out) operations is called a surgeon. Nowadays operations may be performed almost on any part of the body.

When people have pain in their teeth they go to a dentist to have the holes in their teeth filled (stopped). When necessary they may have their teeth taken (pulled) out.

People who are treated in health centres (policlinics) are called out-patients, those who stay in hospital are called inpatients.

Something is wrong with my legs: all my joints ache and when I bend my knee it hurts me.

The old man's sight is getting dim (слабеет), his eyes are sore, swollen and itching.

N o t e: Don't say "He wrote me a prescription out"; but "He wrote out a prescription for me".

EXERCISES