A int. Geneva airport - customs office - day 147a

*

 

Jordan sits with two CUSTOMS OFFICERS. *

 

JORDAN (V.O.) *

--the whole thing was quashed by *

our friend the Swiss banker. Which *

was lucky for me, since so far I'd *

been able to keep Agent Fuckface *

unaware of the trip. *

 

Another CUSTOMS OFFICER enters, whispers something to the *

others. They shake Jordan's hand and he leaves. *

 

 

148 EXT. GENEVA - SHOPPING DISTRICT - DAY (SUMMER `95) 148

 

A limo pulls up at an office building. Jordan emerges

with Rugrat and Donnie. *

 

 

149 INT. BANQUE REAL DE GENEVE - LOBBY - DAY (SUMMER `95) 149

 

JEAN-JACQUES SAUREL greets them. 30s, suave. The lobby is

ultra-modernist.

 

SAUREL

Jordan Belfort! At last!

Nicholas has told me so much.

 

RUGRAT

Jordan, Jean-Jacques Saurel.

 

JORDAN

Nice to make your acquaintance.

This is some lobby you got.

 

SAUREL

Ah, yes. We gave our designer an

unlimited budget and he exceeded

it. Come! You must tell me all

about your adventure with the

stewardess over coffee!

 

They disappear upstairs.

 

SCENE 150 OMITTED 150

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INT. BANQUE REAL DE GENEVE - SAUREL'S OFFICE - DAY 151

 

Jordan, Rugrat and Donnie drink coffee with Saurel and

one other SWISS BANKER. It's an impressive office, with *

an enormous fish tank.

 

DONNIE

We have a joke in America.

"Heaven is a place where the

police are Brits, the chefs are

Italian, the car mechanics are

German, the prostitutes are French

and the bankers are Swiss." I

never got it `til now -- look at

those fucking fish! Come here,

little guy...

 

SAUREL

Yes, we have the same joke here.

Only sometimes the English are

chauffeurs and the chefs are

French. The Germans, alas, are

always mechanics; no one wants to

grant them more authority than

that.

 

Polite laughter. Jordan, not as impressed by the fish,

cuts straight to the point:

 

 

JORDAN

I'm curious about your bank

secrecy laws.

 

SAUREL

Excusez-moi, Jordan, Swiss custom

requires ten minutes of idle chit-

chat before business can be

discussed.

(a smile)

Of course, let's get "down to it."

What would you like to know?

 

JORDAN

Under what circumstances would you

be obligated to cooperate with an

FBI or U.S. Justice Department

investigation?

 

SAUREL

Ca depend.

 

JORDAN

Ca depend? Ca depend on what?

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SAUREL

Whether America plans to invade

Switzerland in the coming months.

 

RUGRAT

Want me to see if tanks are

rolling down the Rue de la Croix?

 

More chuckles. Through Jordan's forced smile:

 

JORDAN (V.O.)

What I'm asking, you Swiss dick,

is are you going to fuck me over.

 

SAUREL (V.O.)

I understand perfectly, you

American shitheel.

 

Saurel smiles.

 

SAUREL

The only way the Banque Real de

Geneve would cooperate with a

foreign legal body is if the crime

being pursued also happened to be

a crime in Switzerland. But there

are very few Swiss laws pertaining

to your "rumored" improprieties.

Which is why Mr. Azoff's joke is

most appropriate: from a financial

standpoint you are now in heaven,

and we welcome you. If the U.S.

Justice Department or FBI or SEC

or IRS sent us a subpoena, it

would become papier-toillette. We

would wipe our ass with it.

 

Everyone's impressed. Except Jordan.

 

JORDAN

Unless it was an investigation

into stock fraud -- which is a

crime in Switzerland. Then you'd

have to cooperate.

 

SAUREL

(now he's impressed)

Yes, we would. Assuming the

account is under your name.

However, if it were in the name of

a nominee of yours...

 

They take each other in.

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JORDAN (V.O.)

Was that yodeling I just heard or

did you just say what I thought

you said?

 

SAUREL (V.O.)

Yes! Yes!

 

As the meeting wraps up with handshakes, Jordan's V.O.

overwhelms Saurel's V.O..

 

JORDAN (V.O.)

He was telling me to use a

rathole. Problem was: sneaking a

U.S. rathole into Switzerland was

a chance I couldn't take. What I

needed was somebody with a

European passport.

 

 

SCENES 152 - 153 OMITTED 152

 

 

154 EXT. LONDON FLAT - DAY (SUMMER `95) 154

 

Naomi's Aunt Emma answers the door.

 

AUNT EMMA

Jordan?

 

JORDAN

(big smile, sweating)

Surprise.

 

 

155 EXT. HYDE PARK - DAY (SUMMER `95) 155

 

Amid towering trees and horse trails, a noticeably

twitchy Jordan walks arm-in-arm with Aunt Emma.

 

AUNT EMMA

So tell me about this plan of

yours.

 

JORDAN

I'd like us to go to Switzerland

tomorrow so you can open an

account. I'll fund it, and I'll

pay you really well for your

trouble.

 

AUNT EMMA

Oh my.

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JORDAN

Next month maybe you can fly to

New York and we can start moving

the cash.

 

AUNT EMMA

Moving the cash.

(smiles)

I feel like a character in an

Ian Fleming novel. It's all quite

racy, isn't it?

 

JORDAN

It is, and it's illegal too. Of

course if you ever got in trouble,

I'd come forward in two seconds,

say I duped you, but even still.

 

AUNT EMMA

Risk is what keeps us young, isn't

it darling?

 

JORDAN

I like that attitude. Promise me *

you'll spend at least ten thousand

pounds per month out of the

account, okay?

 

AUNT EMMA

(chuckles)

I wouldn't even know how. I

really do have everything I need.

 

JORDAN

But I bet you don't have

everything you want. How about a

bigger apartment so your grandkids

can sleep over?

 

Aunt Emma notices that Jordan is sweating, fidgety. He's

jonesing.

 

AUNT EMMA

Shall we sit?

 

JORDAN

Sure, that'd be great.

 

They sit on a nearby bench. After a while:

 

AUNT EMMA

Sometimes I wonder if you let

money get the best of you, dear.

(beat)

Among other substances.

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JORDAN

It's that obvious, huh?

 

AUNT EMMA

It's the height of summer and *

you've got the chills. *

 

JORDAN

I'm a drug addict, Emma. Coke, *

pills, you name it, whatever you *

got. Sex addict too. *

 

AUNT EMMA

(laughs)

Well there are worse things to be

addicted to than sex.

 

JORDAN

(chuckles; then)

Why did I just tell you that? *

 

AUNT EMMA

(playful)

Because I'm very easy to talk to.

 

Jordan looks at her. A few beats, then:

 

JORDAN

As a matter of fact you are. My *

job, you know, it's tough. I mean *

I'm not complaining, it's just the

stress. All these people depending *

on me. Millions of dollars at *

stake every day. I sometimes feel *

I've bitten off more than I can *

chew. *

 

AUNT EMMA

You're a man with large appetites.

 

Jordan looks at her and smiles:

 

JORDAN (V.O.)

Is she fucking hitting on me?

 

JORDAN

I agree. I put it on myself. It's *

hard to control the anxiety, you *

know? It's hard to learn to relax. *

 

AUNT EMMA

To release the tension.

 

JORDAN (V.O.)

She is hitting on me! Holy shit!

 

Jordan leans in closer, casually slips an arm around her.

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JORDAN

Exactly, to release the tension. *

Sometimes you gotta learn to do *

what comes natural in life, huh? *

 

Aunt Emma pulls back slightly.

 

AUNT EMMA (V.O.)

Is he fucking hitting on me?

 

He leans in even closer, kisses her, then: *

 

AUNT EMMA

Stability, dear. Family.

*

 

AUNT EMMA (CONT'D) *

You take care of my niece, my

love. And I'll take care of

everything over here. *

(a beat) *

Ah, once upon a time... *