C int. Jordan's parents' apartment - living room - night 75c

 

MAX BELFORT sits smoking, watching a rerun of "The

Equalizer" on TV. His wife, LEAH, does needlepoint.

 

JORDAN (V.O.)

We called him Mad Max because of

his hair-trigger temper, which

could be set off by something as

innocuous as a ringing telephone.

 

The phone RINGS.

 

MAX

Who the hell has the goddamn gall

to call this house on a Tuesday

evening! Goddammit!

 

JORDAN (V.O.)

But then the weirdest thing would

happen. Though he'd never been

near England, he'd pick up the

phone and affect an ever-so-slight

British accent.

 

Greatly agitated, Max stomps toward the phone.

 

JORDAN (V.O.)

This was his other persona -- the

super polite, ever-gracious Sir

Max.

 

MAX

(into phone)

Hello?... Yes, Gene, right-eo.

Good-good then... Cheerio.

 

JORDAN (V.O.)

It was absolutely bizarre. He'd

hang up...

 

MAX

(hangs up phone)

Goddamn fucking halfwit!

33.

The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13

 

JORDAN (V.O.)

And become Mad Max all over again.

 

Max curses a blue streak as he stomps back to his chair.

 

 

SCENE 76 OMITTED 76

 

 

INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - JORDAN'S OFFICE - DAY 77

(MAR `92)

 

Holding a HEADSHOT of the Dwarf from the opening, Jordan

sits talking with Donnie, Robbie and Rugrat.

 

JORDAN

What if he gets hurt?

 

ROBBIE *

He'll be wearing a helmet. Plus

they've got, like, superhuman

strength anyway.

 

DONNIE *

I did hear you're not supposed to *

make direct eye contact. If you *

look at them too long in their *

eyes they get freaked out - their *

wires cross. *

 

JORDAN *

I think there's a limit to how far *

we can go... I mean we can throw *

shit at him and - *

 

DONNIE *

They have a lot of feelings. *

 

JORDAN *

There's a specific thing that *

they'll do - You can throw him at *

a dart board but if you want him *

to show his cock or - *

 

ROBBIE *

Yes, that's what this guy does. *

 

RUGRAT *

That's his gift. *

 

ROBBIE *

Can we also bowl with him? *

 

RUGRAT *

His brother is actually the *

bowler. *

34.

The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13

 

ROBBIE *

They strap a skateboard to him and *

throw him down an alley. *

 

RUGRAT *

They're ornery, too, the little

pricks. You gotta be careful.

 

JORDAN

Get some tranq darts.

 

DONNIE

A little straitjacket. *

 

JORDAN *

What's the liability on something *

like this?

 

RUGRAT *

That's a whole different thing. I *

can get on the phone with some *

people. I can talk to the *

insurance company and tell them *

exactly what we're going to do. *

But I think we go back to the same *

plan - loophole - if we don't *

really consider them people I *

think we are in the clear. *

 

DONNIE *

I think we should keep one in the *

office because I think they're *

good luck. *

 

JORDAN *

Treat it like the fuckin' thing it *

is. He's coming in. We're paying *

him for something. Treat him with *

respect. And you just shake his *

hand like you don't even think *

anything's wrong. *

 

DONNIE *

You just look like something else *

is going on. *

 

RUGRAT *

You don't look at his eyes. *

 

DONNIE *

Say "thank you for being here". *

 

ROBBIE *

You don't turn your back on him. *

It's a sign of disrespect. *

35.

The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13

 

DONNIE *

If you want a cracker or something *

- I'm gonna have some treats in my *

pocket. I want to be in a strip *

club with you guys. Literally pull *

out a brief case and have a little *

fuckin' guy pop out of there. You *

know how much fuckin' pussy you *

get? *

 

JORDAN *

The point is get it out. *

 

DONNIE *

Get the jokes out now. Get the *

fuckin' jokes out now. *

 

JORDAN *

You're gonna fuck it up. Purge all *

this shit right now. *

 

DONNIE *

That's what I'm saying - *

 

JORDAN *

When he comes in the room, I want *

him to feel like a human being - *

 

DONNIE *

Business. Business. It's fuckin' *

business, bro. *

 

JORDAN *

I want him to feel just like a *

normal human being. Cause you know *

- like one of us. One of us. *

 

DONNIE *

Like he's an actual human being. *

One of us. *

 

JORDAN *

Gobble, gobble we accept you, one *

of us! One of us! *

 

ALL *

One of us. *

 

Janet pokes her head in. *

 

JANET

Your dad's coming. With the

American Express bill.

 

JORDAN

Can you stop him?

36.

The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13

 

JANET

Fuck you, you stop him.

 

The guys straighten up and head to desk, settle in. Max *

blows in past her, waving a 3-inch-thick bill:

 

MAX

$430,000 dollars in one month!!

Four-hundred-and-thirty-thousand

dollars in one month!!

 

JORDAN

Hello, Father. *

(Max's expression

doesn't budge)

They're business expenses. Just *

relax. *

 

The guys titter at "business expenses."

 

MAX

If you bastards don't wipe those

smug fucking looks off your faces,

I swear to God I'm gonna wipe `em

off for you!

(back to Jordan)

Are you insane?

 

ROBBIE *

Actually, Max, my portion of the

bill is hardly anything, so I'm on

the same page as you --

 

MAX

Shut the fuck up, Feinberg, you

only have a portion because of my

son, you worthless twerp!

 

DONNIE

(chuckles)

Twerp.

 

MAX

You zip it, too, Azoff, those

boiling teeth of yours are hurting

my fucking eyes!

(turning to Jordan)

My own son! From my very loins!

What do you think this is? *

 

JORDAN

Will you calm down --

 

MAX

You don't think there's any end in

sight, do you? It's all one giant

party to you schmendricks!

37.

The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13

MAX (CONT'D)

(holds up AMEX bill)

$26,000 for one dinner!!

 

JORDAN

Donnie ordered sides.

 

DONNIE

Yeah, that was... Sorry.

 

MAX

(glowering)

What is EJ Entertainment? What is

EJ Entertainment?!

 

JORDAN

(restraining a grin)

You tell me, Dad.

 

MAX

It's a goddamn prostitution ring

is what it is!!

 

Jordan feigns shock, turns to Donnie: did you know it was

a prostitution ring?!

 

DONNIE

Doesn't the IRS allow for T&A?

 

MAX

It's T&E and stop fucking with me!

What kind of hookers take credit

cards, anyway?!

 

Jordan takes the bill, starts flipping through it.

 

JORDAN (V.O.)

In Stratton parlance, there were

three kinds of hookers. There

were blue chips, the top of the

line. Model material. They were

priced between $300 and $500 and

made you wear a condom unless you

gave them a hefty tip, which I

always did.

 

 

77A A "BLUE CHIP" HOOKER FLOATS THROUGH, SURROUNDED BY *77A

STRATTON BROKERS. *

 

JORDAN (V.O.)

Then came NASDAQs, who were

pretty, but not great, usually

in the two to three hundred

dollar range.

38.

The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13

 

77B A "NASDAQ" HOOKER DANCES THROUGH BULLPEN. STRATTON *77B

BROKERS WATCH. *

 

JORDAN (V.O.)

Finally there were pink sheets,

skanks, the bottom of the barrel.

 

 

77C A "PINK SHEET" HOOKER, COVERED IN TATTOOS, IS ON ALL *77C

FOURS AS SEA OTTER RIDES HER LIKE A PONY. *

 

JORDAN (V.O.)

They usually cost a hundred or

less, and if you didn't wear a

condom, you'd get a penicillin

shot the next day and pray your

dick didn't fall off.

 

 

77D THE ABOVE-MENTIONED "PINK SHEET" HOOKER SITS ON A STOOL, *77D

AS SEA OTTER FUCKS HER. *

 

JORDAN (V.O.)

Not that we didn't fuck them, too.

Believe me, we did.

 

Behind him, the other guys wait their turns. *

 

E BACK TO SCENE 77E

 

Max continues to steam so Jordan ushers Robbie, Rugrat

and Donnie out the door.

 

JORDAN

Give us a minute, will you, guys?

 

He closes the door, then stretches a bit, exaggeratedly,

letting out a little moan.

 

MAX

What's the matter?

 

JORDAN

Nothing, just... My back's been

killing me. Pain shooting down my

leg. Not to worry, it'll pass.

 

MAX

What do the doctors say?

 

JORDAN

Doctors, what do they know? I'm on

like twenty different medications.

(re: the Amex bill)

Look, I know it's hard for you to

make sense of these expenses, but

there's a method here, okay? *

39.

The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13

 

Max waits to hear it; Jordan gestures to the bullpen *

 

MAX

And you have to lead by example,

is that it?

(Jordan nods)

I'm tellin' ya, kid, one of these

days... one of these days the

chickens are gonna come home to *

roost.

 

JORDAN *

In order to keep these guys *

working, I gotta keep `em *

spending. I need to keep them *

chasing the dream. You flash some *

cash, they do the same. It keeps *

them motivated. *

 

MAX *

Pissing away money? That's what *

motivates you kids? *

 

JORDAN *

I could afford to pay them more, *

but then they wouldn't need me as *

much. And as long as they need me *

they'll always fear me. I know it *

sounds crazy. *

 

MAX *

Crazy? This... is obscene. *

 

He turns and exits. Jordan watches him go, thinking.

 

JORDAN (V.O.)

It was obscene -- in the normal

world. But who wanted to live

there?

 

 

78 EXT. BEACH HOUSE - SOUTH HAMPTON - DAY (JUN `92) 78

 

Massive, with an Olympic-size pool overlooking the beach.

Dozens of luxury cars parked outside. On a balcony,

Jordan is mid-speech, in a bathing suit, addressing the

Strattonites below, Teresa at his side.

 

JORDAN (O.C.)

-- so enjoy yourselves, you all

deserve a celebration. `Cept for

Kimmie, she's lazy and she steals. *

(off laughter, Kimmie *

flips him the bird;

he blows her a kiss)

But, everybody, keep this in mind.

40.

The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13

JORDAN (O.C.) (CONT'D)

As my friend Donnie Azoff says,

"If you wanna party with the boys,

you gotta wake up with the men."

Monday morning I want you all

looking razor-sharp. Cuz

Stratton's got a few things on the

horizon, things that're gonna take

it right up into the fucking

stratosphere!

 

The Crowd goes nuts. One Broker lets loose a wolf-howl,

and the crowd toasts Jordan, chanting his name.

 

CROWD

Jor-dan! Jor-dan! Jor-dan!

 

As Jordan looks down smiling like a benevolent dictator --

 

JORDAN (PRE-LAP)

Fuck Merrill Lynch, this way we

become the underwriters.

 

ROBBIE (PRE-LAP) *

Like an investment bank.