Read and try to understand the following jokes.

a. «Have you anything to say for yourself before I pass the sentence?» the judge said to the pickpocket. «What good have you ever done for mankind?» «Well, Your Honour», said the prisoner, «I've kept four or five detectives working regularly and I've helped several reporters, prison guards, and you keep their jobs».

b. A man was accused of stealing a pair of trousers. After a long examination he was acquitted, because the evidence against him was not sufficiently strong. He stayed, however, in the dock after his acquittal had been pronounced. The lawyer who had defended him, observing that he didn't go away, informed him that he was free to go wherever he wanted. The man shook his head slightly, but remained. By this time the court was nearly empty. Again his lawyer told him that he could go. «I can't go till all the witnesses against me have left the court», said the man. «And why may that be?» asked the lawyer. «Because of the stolen trousers, sir. I've got them on».

c. A barber went to a lawyer for advice. «What shall I do», he asked «to a boy who threw a stone in one of my windows and broke a pane?» «You may make his father pay for it», answered the lawyer. «Then», said the barber, «I want six shillings from you, sir, for it was your son who did it». «And if you hand me over four shillings», said the lawyer, «we shall be quits, for my fee is half a pound».

 

Try to choose the true answer.

Questionnaire

Part 1. “Preparing for tests”.

Do you prepare for tests?

a. Always. b. Usually. c. Sometimes. d. Almost never. e. Why?

Where do you usually prepare for tests?

a. In a quiet place. b. In a noisy place. c. At a table. d. Lying on my bed. e. While I am watching TV. f. While I am eating. g. Alone. h. With a friend or friends. i. Somewhere else.

What kind of preparation works best for you?

a. Learning by heart. b. Trying to understand a rule. c. Remembering some example sentences.
d. Telling someone else about what I've learned. e. Making a lot of notes. f. Doing more exercises.
g. Something else.

When do you prepare for a test?

a. The night before, studying late into the night. b. Little by little a few days before. c. On the day the teacher tells us about the test. d. A few minutes before the test. e. Some other time.

 

Part 2. Speaking.

1. When you have to say something in English, do you:

a. think in your language first and then translate. b. try to remember a complete phrase? c. say the shortest sentence you can? d. try to use new words you learned recently? e. do something else?

2. While you are speaking, do you:

a. worry about your pronunciation? b. stop to think of the correct word? c. ask for help if you don’t know the word? d. say as little as you can? e. say as much as you can? f. do something else?

3. While you are speaking, do you:

a. worry about making mistakes? b. concentrate on communicating your ideas? c. correct your mistakes immediately? d. think that it doesn’t matter if you make a mistake? e. do something else?
f. think that it doesn’t matter if you make a mistake? g. do something else?

4. When you have finished speaking, do you:

a. think about what you could have said? b. check that the other person has understood you? c. feel embarrassed about what you have said? d. do something else.