Crackle, Crackle, Galactic Static

Gran: Jack, do you have to bang and slam on that piano like that?

Jack: I'm practising for our new album. It's smashing.

Gran: An album? You mean that racket you and your gang bash out?

Jack: We're not a gang, we're a fantastic jazz band. Sally and Janet, me on the piano, Alec on the sax — the Galactic Static. It'll be an absolute smash hit.

Gran: The Galactic Racket, if you ask me. And all you'll smash is Grandad's piano.

J а сV: Gran, we have talent. We're cool cats, man. Crackle, crackle, Galactic Static!

Gran: The young man's mad. Here. I've made you a fat ham sandwich and a crab-apple jam flan.

Jack: Ah, Gran, you may not understand jazz but your flans are fab.

Exercise VI. Read the rhymes and learn them.

1. Ann and Andy,	2. Andy Pandy, Jack-a-dandy,
Sugar and candy,	Loves plum cake and sugar candy
I say stand up!	Bought it from a candy shop
	And away did, hop, hop, hop!
3. Pussy-cat, Pussy-cat.	If you catch,
Can you catch	that bad fat rat,
that big fat rat?	you will have
	some milk for that.

4. Jack Sprat would eat no fat,

His wife could eat no lean,

And so between them both you see

They left the platter clean.

Exercise VII. Transcribe the proverbs and learn them.

1. East or west, home is best.

2. All is well that ends well.

3. Good health is above wealth.

4. Better to do well than to say well.

5. If you cannot have the best, make the best of what you can.

6. Better late than never but better never late.

7. Money spent on brain is never spent in vain.

UNIT 3. [ɒ] – [ɔ:]

Exercise I. Read the following words paying special attention to correct pronunciation.

ı. [ɒ]		2. [ɔ:]			3. [ɒ] - [ɔ:]
nod	top	or	lord	short	cock — cork
cod	stop	nor	ford	port	fog — fork
rod	mop	for	board	sort	pot — port
odd	cop	bore	horn	sport	Bob — born
dog	copy	tore	torn	fork	Polly — Paul
job	boss	core	born	force	wad — ward
Bob	not	folklore	corn	ought	cod — cord
Tom	cock	thaw	form	bought	odd — lord
golf	stock	saw	storm	thought
fog	lock	jaw	reform	autumn
lost	dock	law	warm	daughter
loss		war	order	taught
			all	naughty

Exercise II. Read the following sense-groups, mind the rhythm and intonation.

(a) a dog; a hot dog; a big hot dog; a nice big hot dog.

(b) a bottle; a water bottle; a hot water bottle; don't warm a hot water bottle.

(c) horses; four horses; drawn by four horses; was drawn by four horses; the cart he bought was drawn by four horses.

(d) the horse; the cart before the horse; always puts the cart before the horse; Gordon always puts the cart before the horse.

Exercise III. Transcribe and intone the following sentences. Practise reading them.

[ɒ] (a) 1. Polly wants her coffee strong.

2. Dolly wants an office job.

3. Was it not possible to stop Tom and Bob?

4. Polly's gone to the wrong shop.

5. John's dog Tobby got lost.

[ɔ:] (b) 1. Any port in a storm.

2. The calm before the storm.

3. New Lords, new laws.

4. Pride comes before a fall.

5. To put the cart before the horse.

6. A tall order.

7. You can take a horse to the water, but you can't make it drink.

8. Forewarned is forearmed.

9. All the more so.

[ɒ] — [ɔ:] (c) 1. Olive watches John put a locked strong box on a yacht in a lock at the docks.

2. Gordon wants forty-four copies of the documents.

3. Yesterday John made four copies but Bob poured a cup of coffee all over them.

4. Paul and George, stop talking.

5. Cora and Polly adore small talk.

Exercise IV. Read the tongue-twisters and learn them.

1. Of all the saws I ever saw

I never saw a saw saw as this saw saws.

2. Knott and Shott fought a duel.

Knott was shot and Shott was not.

It was better to be Shott than Knott.

Exercise V. Read the dialogues, mark the stresses and tunes. Learn them. Act out the dialogues.

1. TV Advertisement for "Onwash"

Voice A: What's wrong with you, Mrs Bloggs? Mrs Bloggs: What's wrong with me? I want a holiday from this horrible job of washing socks!

Voice B: Buy a bottle of "Onwash", Mrs Bloggs!

Voice C: "Onwash" is so soft and strong!

Voice D: You don't want lots of hot water with "Onwash".

Voice A: It's not a long job with "Onwash".

Voice B: Use "Onwash" often.

Voice C: You won't be sorry when you've got "Onwash".

Voice D: Everybody wants "Onwash".

Everybody: "Onwash" is so popular!

Sports Reports from Channel 4

Announcer: This morning the Roarers football team arrived back from York. Paul Short is our sports reporter, and he was at the airport.

Paul Short: Good morning. This is Paul Short. All the footballers are walking towards me. Here's George Ball, the goalkeeper. Good morning, George.

George Ball: Good morning. Are you a reporter?

Paul Short: Yes, I'm from Channel 4. Please tell our audience about the football match with York.

George Ball: Well, it was awful. We lost. And the score was four, forty-four. But it wasn't my fault.

Paul Short: Whose fault was it?

George Ball: The forwards.

Paul Short: The forwards?

George Ball: Yes. The forwards. They were always falling down or losing the ball!

Fawns, Horses And a Tortoise

Paul: Any more of these awful autumn storms, George, and we'll be short of corn. I ought to have bought some more in Northport.

George: This morning, just before dawn, I thought I saw signs of a thaw.. I was sure...

Paul: Ssh! Behind that door there are four fawns that were born in the storm. They're all warm in the straw now.

George: Poor little fawns! Paul, what's that snorting next door?

Paul: Those are the horses' stalls. They're snorting at my daughter's tortoise. It always crawls around in the straw.

George: If Claud saw us walking across his lawn... He's an awful bore about his lawn. Oh, Lord, we're caught! There is Claud! Now we're for it!

I'm Afraid I Think I'm Lost

Old Lady; Excuse me. I'm terribly sorry to bother you...

Policeman: Yes? That's quite all right. Can I help you at all?

Old Lady: I don't know how to begin.

Policeman: Well, the beginning's always a good place to start.

Old Lady: But, you see, I don't know the beginning. I'm looking for a small, old-fashioned hotel where I — if only I could remember the name!

Policeman: Or the name of the street?

О 1 d Lady: The street? Oh, I've no idea, I'm afraid.

Policeman: Or the area?

Old L a d y: I know it was not far from the Pier. Or could that have been last year, I wonder? No, no, last year I went with Emily — I think.

Policeman: Did you say near the Pier? There's no pier here.

Old Lady: There must be! My hotel was near it.

Policeman: Which pier?

Old Lady: Eastbourne Pier, of course!

Policeman: Eastbourne? But this is Seaford!

Old Lady: Seaford! Really? I thought it seemed rather a long way!

Exercise VI. Read the rhymes and learn them.

1. Tommy Trot, a man of law,

Sold his bed and lay upon straw,

Sold the straw and slept on grass,

To buy his wife a looking-glass.

2. Ride a cock-horse to Banbury Cross,

To buy little Johnny a galloping horse,

It trots behind, and it ambles before,

And Johnny shall ride till he can ride no more.

3. It's raining, it's pouring.

The old man is snoring,

He got into bed

And bumped his head

And couldn't get up in the morning.

4. Grasshopper, grasshopper,

Please, will you stop?

And show me how high

A grasshopper can hop.

Oh, no, I'm in haste.

I must hop out to shop.

Hoppety, hoppety,

hoppety, hop.

Exercise VII. Transcribe the proverbs and learn them.

1. A little pot is soon hot.

2. Honour and profit lie not in one sack.

3. Better unborn than untaught, but better untaught than ill-taught.,

4. To draw in. one's horns.

5. To draw water in sieve.

6. To make a long story short.

7. Be slow to promise and quick to perform.

8. Honesty is the best policy.

9. When all comes to all.

10. Velvet paws hide sharp claws.

UNIT 4. [з:]-[ ɔ:]

Exercise I. Read the following words paying special attention to correct pronunciation.

1. [з:]		2. [ɔ:]		3. [з:] - [ɔ:]
sir	work	four	ought	her — horn
fir	hurt	more	bought	bird — board
her	shirt	ore	thought	pearl — Paul
bird	skirt	bore	daughter	work — walk
heard	purse	tore	taught	turn — torn
word	nurse	saw	nought	burn — born
world	first	thaw	talk	curl — call
girl	burst	draw	walk	first— force
curl	curtain	straw	horse	curse — course
earl	thirteen	awed	course	worm — warm
pearl	birthday	board	short	shirt — short
term	Thursday	small	shorts	shirts — shorts
firm	purpose	wall	sport
serve	curve	morning	port
prefer	worse	warm	quarter

Exercise II. Read the following sense-groups, mind the rhythm and intonation.

(a) purpose; serve no purpose; the work will serve no purpose.

(b) a girl; a circus girl; Pearl is a circus girl; Pearl is a circus girl who works; Pearl is a circus girl who works with horses.

(c) birthday; first birthday; thirty-first birthday; pearls for her thirty-first birthday; a circlet of pearls for her thirty-first birthday; a fur and a circlet of pearls for her thirty-first birthday; an earl gave Pearl a fur and a circlet of pearls for her thirty-first birthday.

Exercise III. Transcribe and intone the following sentences. Practise reading them in pairs.

[з:] (а) 1. Repeat the verse word for word.

2. Bert will be thirteen next birthday.

3. Bertha preferred to turn to the Colonel whenever it was her turn to rehearse.

4. Bert and Jemima had a perfectly murderous journey from Hurlingham to Surbiton on Thursday.

5. Turn down the first turning after the church — or the third, if you prefer.

6. We've searched for work all over the world, cursing the ever-worsening conditions for labourers.

7. Myrtle will certainly start her journey to Germany next Thursday under the circumstances.

[э:] (b) 1. I thought George Thornhill ought to talk.

2. Paul Thornaby adores Mort Morgan's daughter Laura.

3. Nora thought that all autumn balls were boring.

4. Gordon Norton taught law to forty-four students.

5. Nora bought sausages and oranges and a tall bottle of mineral water.

[з:] — [о:] (с) 1. Paul and Pearl are on board a ship.

2. First call Bert and Paul.

3. Maud and Bert like to walk but they don't like to work.

4. Work without purpose is like walk without joy.

Exercise IV. Read the tongue-twisters and learn them.

1. Observe the observed of all observers.

2. If white chalk chalks on a black blackboard, will black chalk chalk on a white blackboard?

Exercise V. Read the dialogues, mark the stresses and tunes. Learn them. Act out the dialogues,

The Worst Nurse

Sir Herbert: Nurse!

Colonel Burton: Nurse! I'm thirsty!

Sir Herbert: Nurse! My head hurts!

Colonel Burton: NURSE!!

Sir Herbert: Curse these nurses!

Colonel Burton: Nurse Sherman always wears such dirty shirts.

Sir Herbert: And such short skirts.

Colonel Burton: She never arrives at work early.

Sir Herbert: She and... er... Nurse Turner weren't at work on Thursday, were they?

Colonel Burton: No, they weren't.

Sir Herbert: Nurse Sherman is the worst nurse in the ward, isn't she?

Colonel Burton: No, she isn't. She's the worst nurse in the world!