Form of general questions with the help of the modal

verbs May, Can, Could, Will, Would. Requests are

pronounced with rising intonation at the end of the

question. Adding “please” to a request makes it more

polite. As a rule, polite requests are not asked in the form of negative questions.

The modal verbs May, Could, Will, Would are used in making polite requests in speech and writing, in communications with strangers and

with people you know. Can in requests is considered to be less polite than

the other modals in this group. Can is generally used in informal requests

mostly in conversation with friends and family. Note the use of the pronouns “I, you”. In requests, May is used in the form “May I”; “Will and

Would are used in the forms “Will you” and “Would you”; Could and

Can are used in both variants.

e.g. “May I speak to Tom Lee, please?” May I borrow your pen, please?”

“Could I speak to Tom, please?” “Could you lend me thirty dollars till

Wednesday, please?” “Can I borrow your pen, please?” “Can you tell me

where the bank is, please?” “Will you please be quiet?” “Would you please

ask her to call me?” 24

 

Note: The modal verb Might can be used in making polite requests in the

same way as May, but is rarely used in this function and is not discussed

here.

Typical responses to requests

If you want to respond to a request positively, use the following typical responses to requests.

Formal style: I’d be glad to. / I’d be happy to.

Less formal: Yes, of course.

Informal: Sure. / No problem. / Uh-huh.

Examples:

1. Could you tell her that Roy James called? – I’d be glad to.

2. Could you help me with this report? – Yes, of course. / Certainly.

3. Could you tell me where the bank is, please? – Sure. It’s right around

the corner on Fifth Street, next to the post office.

4. Could I borrow your calculator for a minute? – Sure, here it is.

If for some reason you want to respond to a request negatively, use the following typical responses.

Formal style: I’m afraid it’s not possible. / I’m very sorry, but … / I’d like

to, but … / I wish I could (help), but …

Less formal: Sorry. / Sorry, I can’t.

Examples:

1. Could you lend me a hundred dollars? – I’m afraid it’s not possible. /

I’m sorry, but I can’t lend you a hundred dollars now. / I wish I could help

you, but I’m afraid I can’t.

2. Could I use your phone? – I’m sorry. I’m waiting for a phone call.

3. May I speak to Mr. Brown, please? – Sorry, he is not in.

4. Would you please ask him to call me at seven o’clock?- I’d like to, but I

won’t see him.

5. Can I borrow your CD player? – Sorry, I need it today.

Note: It is often incorrect to respond to requests using the same modal verb

in short answers. Modal verbs form requests in the form of questions, and

the meaning of the same modal verbs in statements is often different and 25

 

might not be logically. Compare the meanings of modal verbs in the following requests and incorrect responses to them.

Examples:

Could I borrow your pen? (request) – Yes, you could. (possibility)

Could you open the window, please? (request) – Yes, I could. (possibility)

May I speak to Mr. Brown, please? (request) – Yes, you may. (permission)

Would you please pass the salt? (request) – Yes, I would. (supposition)

 

Requesting permission

The structures "Could you, Can you, Will you, Would you" are

used in requests to do something, while "May I, Could I, Can I" are used

in making a request and asking for permission.

Asking for permission to do something is also a request. Permission is

asked in the form of affirmative questions with the help of MAY, COULD,

CAN. MAY asks for formal permission, COULD is less formal, and CAN

asks informal permission. MAY and COULD are more polite than CAN.

Permission is given with the help of typical responses to requests mentioned above or with the help of MAY (formal permission) and CAN (informal permission). If permission is not given, "can't" is generally used.

"May not" is used in formal situations. Look at these examples:

Formal style: Mrs. Brown, may I stay at your house till Wednesday? –

1. Yes, you may. 2. No, you may not. / I'm afraid it's not possible.

Less formal: Could I stay here till Wednesday? – 1. Yes, of course. / Certainly. / Yes, you can. 2. I'm afraid it's not possible. / Sorry, you can't.

Informal: Can I stay here till Wednesday? – Sure.

More examples with "can't":

You can't do it!

Sorry, you can't park here.

Please tell him that he can't use my car without permission.

The phrase "be allowed to"

The substitute phrases "be allowed to do something, be not allowed to do

something" can be used for describing permission in the present, future,

and past. 26

 

Examples:

I am not allowed to leave the house.

You will be allowed to see the patient soon.

We were allowed to take his car.

They weren't allowed to stay there.

She wasn't allowed to go there alone.

Note:

CAN and MAY are also used in polite offers, often in an offer of help. Examples: Can I help you? (less formal) – May I help you? (more formal).

Can I help you with anything? Can I help you with your home assignment?

Can I help you (to) wash the dishes? Can I help? Can I offer you a drink?

The phrase "Would you mind"

The phrase "Would you mind" is widely used in making requests and asking for permission.

Request to do something: Would you mind + gerund

Would you mind opening the window? (Meaning: You ask someone to

open the window.) – Of course not. / Not at all.

Would you mind repeating what you said? (Meaning: You ask someone to

repeat what he said.) – Of course not. I said...

Would you mind not smoking here? (Meaning: You ask someone not to

smoke here.) – Oh, I'm sorry.

Would you mind not using my CD player without permission? – Oh, I'm

sorry.

Asking for permission: Would you mind + if I + simple past

Would you mind if I opened the window? (Meaning: You ask someone

whether you could open the window.) – Of course not. / Not at all. / No, I

wouldn't mind. Would you mind if I smoked? (Meaning: You ask someone

whether you could smoke here.) – I'd rather you didn't. I'm allergic to

smoke.

Would you mind if I didn't come to the meeting? I don't feel very well.

(Meaning: You ask someone whether it will be all right if you don't come

to the meeting.) – No, I wouldn't mind. / No, that would be all right. 27

 

Would you mind if I didn't go to the party with you? I'm really tired. A

standard refusal covering formal and informal situations would be: “I’m

sorry, I’m afraid not. I don’t allow other people to use my books.”

“Sorry, no chance of giving you a lift.” (a strong refusal and would only

ever be used between close friend or equals) “No, of course not.” “Yes, I

do/ would mind.” “No, it’s not all right.” “I’d rather you didn’t if you

don’t mind.” (These are strong and firm refusals used in informal situations) The phrase “Well (I’m sorry, I’m afraid) I’d prefer you not, if

you don’t mind” is considered to be polite.

Note: Sometimes in informal situations in spoken English, the simple present is used instead of the simple past in the second part after "if", e.g.,

"Would you mind if I open the window?" instead of "Would you mind if I

opened the window?" It is advisable for language learners to use only the

standard variants in formal and informal polite requests in speech and writing.

The phrase "Do you mind"

In everyday English, the structure "Would you mind" is sometimes

changed to "Do you mind". The structure "Do you mind" is a little less

polite than "Would you mind".

Do you mind opening the window?

Do you mind if I open the window?

Do you mind if I don't go to the party with you?

Other phrases with WOULD

WOULD is also used in other structures in polite requests to do something

and in requests for permission.

Examples:

Would it be OK if I returned your book tomorrow?

Would it be all right if I didn't go to the party with you?

Would you be so kind as to send me the list of recommended literature?

Note that the formal polite request "Would you be so kind as to" may be

used sarcastically. Example: Would you be so kind as to remove your hand

from my shoulder? 28

 

The phrase "I would like" expresses preference or desire to do or get

something and is used in certain situations as a polite substitute for requests. In questions, "Would you like" is often used as a polite offer.

Examples:

I would like to speak to Mr. Smith, please.

I'd like to know the telephone number for ABC Electronics, please.

I'd like two tickets for tonight's concert, please.

I'd like a cup of coffee with cream and sugar, please.

Would you like to speak to Mr. James? Who would you like to speak to?

Would you like to go to a concert tonight? – 1. I'd like that very much.

2. I'd like to, but I have to study.

Would you like some more cake? – 1. Yes, please. 2. No, thank you.

Requests in the form of negative questions

As a rule, polite requests in English are not asked in the form of negative

questions. Polite requests in Russian are usually in the form of negative

questions. Russian students often make mistakes in requests in English because of this difference.

Generally, negative questions have some emotion in them, e.g., surprise,

expecting yes for an answer, mockery, annoyance, complaint. Requests in

the form of negative questions can often sound impolite. Learners of English should avoid making requests in the form of negative questions. Examples of impolite requests, with the meaning they convey and the reaction

they might provoke:

Can't you get me a cup of coffee? (Meaning: I'm surprised that you haven't

offered me a cup of coffee.) – Of course I can get you a cup of coffee!

Why didn't you ask me about it?

Won't you help me? (Meaning: I see that you don't want to help me.) – Of

course I will help you! Have I ever refused to help you?

There are just a couple of situations in which requests in the form of negative questions are acceptable.

For example, if a negative question is actually not a request but an offer, a

negative question will sound more interested than an affirmative question.

(There is some surprise in such negative questions too.) 29

 

Won't you sit down? – Thank you.

Won't you have some more potato salad? – 1. Yes, please. It's delicious.

2. No, thank you. I'm full.

But you just got here! Can't you stay a little longer? – I'd like to, but I really have to go.

Another possible case is when the speaker knows that there are reasons

why a request can't be fulfilled or a permission given but still hopes that

something can be done. Affirmative questions are also common in such

cases.

Examples:

I'm extremely sorry, but couldn't I return the money that I owe you after

the holiday?

I'm extremely sorry, but could I return the money that I owe you after the

holiday?

I'm sorry to ask about it, but wouldn't it be possible to postpone my trip to

Rome?

I'm sorry to ask about it, but would it be possible to postpone my trip to

Rome?

You wouldn't have a larger room, would you?

Recommendations: Use "Could you" for making a request, and "Could I"

for making a request or for asking for permission. COULD is used in both

formal and informal speech and writing. The phrase "Would you mind" is

also very common in making requests or asking for permission, though it is

a little more difficult to use than "Could you, Could I". Use typical affirmative or negative responses to requests. Do not use negative questions to

make a request or ask for permission.

When talking to close friends or people you’re on first-name terms

with, you may use pseudo-statements: “Hey, I need some change for the

bus.” ”Oh, dear, I haven’t got any change for the bus.” “I don’t seem to

have any change on me.” 30

 

You may also use tag-questions: “You haven’t got this book, have

you?” “You can help him, can’t you?”

Another possibility is to use the please-form imperative: “Please,

give me this book.” “Give me this book, please.”

You must remember that the imperative with “please” is not considered polite enough and may sound rude in particular situations. If the British want to be especially polite the generally avoid direct ways of asking

for favors. Instead of saying “I want you to tell me whether Mrs. Brown

has booked her room.” Or “I want to know exactly when Mrs. Brown

booked her room” they prefer to use more polite forms and put them in the

past: “I wanted to know exactly when Mrs. Brown booked her room.”

“I was wondering/thinking if Mr. Brown had left.”

So British people use rather elaborate roundabout ways of asking for

things, and some foreigners therefore may appear rude because they are

more direct than the British tend to be.

The main idea about asking favors of people is how you ask and

what intentions you have rather than the actual words you use. When it

seems likely that the other person will refuse, the question can be phrased

so that refusal doesn’t cause embarrassment.

So, when making a polite request, preference should be given to socalled pseudo-interrogative forms such as: “Could/Would/Will you open

the door for me, please?” “Do/Would you mind opening the door for me,

please?” “I wonder if you could be here early in the morning?” “Do you

think you could translate this article for two days?” “Won’t you help me,

please?”

 

DIALOGUES

Note the expressions used in the dialogues and the progression of the conversation. The dialogue can be used as a model to have similar conversations.

1. Jill: Excuse me, can you do me a favor?

Shop-assistant: Sur. What can I do for you?

Jill: Can you show me the shelf with modern American literature?

Shop-assistant: Sure. It is right in front of you.

Jill: Thanks. Oh, really. Thanks. 31

 

2. (A foreign is late for the plane and he wants somebody help him.)

- I am awfully sorry, but I’ve missed my plane. What am I to do?

- Go to the booking office and ask for the next flight to your country.

- Could you please tell me where the booking office is.

- It is just round the corner.

3. - Will you please see to it that everything is ready in time?

- Certainly. You can rely on me.

4. - Can you help me with the translation.

- Most willingly.

5. - I’m going to tell everything to your father.

- Please don’t. The old man will be upset.

6. - Please, don’t forget that the train starts at 7.15. I’ll be expecting

you at six.

- You needn’t worry. I won’t fail you.

7. Jerry: Can you loan me some money?

Cathy: I’m sorry. I’ve already gone through my paycheck for the

week.

Jerry: You’ve gone through all your money so quickly? I thought

you were well-off.

Cathy: Not me! You know money always burns a hole in my pocket.

8. - Do you happen to know what’s on after the news?

- I think it’s a documentary.

- Would you mind if I watched it?

- Don’t you want to see part two of the serial on BBC-2?

- Do you remember what’s on channel 2 at 9.30?

- As far as I can remember, it’s a play.

- Do you mind if we switch over?

- No, I’ve been looking forward to it all evening.

 

EXERCISES

I. Read these lines of conversation and answer the questions given

below.

Jack: Is it OK if I borrow your dictionary?

Pete: Well actually I need it myself all this week …

Jack: Oh, come on, just for the evening.

Pete: Look, the answer’s “No”. Anyway you had it most of last week

Jack: Do you think I could borrow your CD tomorrow? I’ve got a date

with this girl, you see, and …

Pete: I see. Well, you can have it now as long as you bring it back by

9.30.

Jack: 9.30. That’s no good. Couldn’t I keep it a bit longer?

Pete: I’m afraid not, Jack. That’s the best I can do.

 

Questions:

1. What terms are Jack and Pete on? Prove your opinion? 2. How does

Pete refuse permission? 3. What language does Jack use to get Pete’s permission? 4. What other expressions could Jack have used with the same

meaning?

 

II. Read the conversation and answer the questions given below.

(Lucy works as a secretary in a large company. Her boss is John Brown.)

Lucy: May I come in?

Brown: I’d rather you didn’t, Miss Smith. I’m very busy just now.

Lucy: Can I try later, then?

Brown: Yes, of course.

(An hour later.)

Lucy: Is it all right for me to come in now, Mr. Brown?

Brown: Well … Mmm … I’m still plenty busy, but … all right, come in.

What can I do for you?

Lucy: Do you mind if I sit down?

Brown: Not at all. Take a seat. Now what can I do for you?

Lucy: I want to leave the department. Do you think I could put in for a

transfer? 33

 

Brown: Yes, but why should you want to do that?

Lucy: Do you mind if I speak frankly?

Brown: Not at all. Go ahead.

Lucy: Well, you see, I don’t like the office, I don’t like the staff, and I’m

afraid you and I don’t get on. So, may I put in for a transfer?

Brown: Yes, I’d be delighted if you did.

 

Questions:

1. What terms are Mr. Brown and Lucy on? What language proves your

opinion? 2. Are they polite to each other? What language shows they are?

3. What would you say to Mr. Brown if you were in Lucy’s shoes?

 

III. Look through the conversation and answer the questions given after the

text.

Tom: Hello, Dad. How did things go at the office today?

Mr. Bradford: Quite well. Nothing special happened. Is your mother in?

Tom: No, she went across the road half an hour ago to borrow some sugar

from Mrs. Smith.

Mrs. Davies. Shall I go over to tell her you’re at home?

Mr. Bradford: She’ll be back soon, I expect. I wonder where she put my

slippers.

Tom: She probably took them to the bedroom, Dad. Would you like me to

fetch them for you?

Mr. Bradford: No, it’s all right. Here they are.

Tom: Will you do me a favor, please?

Mr. Bradford: It depends on what it is.

Tom: May I borrow the car tomorrow night? I’m taking Janet to a party in

Waterberry.

Mr. Bradford: Well, let me see … All right, I’ll lend you the car, Tom, if

you don’t drink too much. Then you can drive it home yourself.

Tom: Thanks, Dad. Can I call Janet and tell her it’s all right?

Mr. Bradford: Yes, yes. But before you do, would you mind telling your

mother I’m at home? I’m hungry. 34

 

Questions:

1. Do you think Tom is used to obeying his father? 2. Why do you think he

is especially polite to his father? 3. What language does Tom use to ask his

father for a favor? 4. Do you think Tom respects his father? If so, what

language shows he does. 5. Is Mr. Bradford close to his son?

 

IV. Treat smb. as an acquaintance, not a close friend. With varying degrees of politeness ask him/her to:

1. help you with English grammar; 2. bring an interesting book for you to

read; 3. show you the way to the nearest café; 4. give you a lift to the station; 5. help you with doing the shopping; 6. buy tickets for the cinema for

you; 7. meet your friend at the airport.

V. React to the requests using the following expressions: Certainly! Of

course! Most willingly. Yes, you can rely on me. I won’t fail you. Here

you are.

1. Could you do it right away? 2. Will you please apologize to Michael for

me? 3. Will you see to it that everything is done? 4. Could you prepare the

report for next Tuesday? 5. Will you be able to meet them at the station?

6. Will you please call an ambulance? 7. Could you do me a favor? 8. Will

you please pass me the book?

 

VI. a) Make a request asking to:

repeat what he said; get in touch with smb.; stop joking; put aside everything; rewrite the paper; let you know when everything is ready;

speak to the point; see to it that everything is done; call an ambulance;

have the prescription filled.

b) Begin your requests with the words:

Will you …? Will you please …? Could you …? Could you do me a

favor and …?

 

VII. Respond to the following requests:

1. Could you do me a favor? 2. Will you put our names on the list?

3. Could you do it right away? 4. Will you do your best? 5. Will you please

apologize to Michael for me? 6. Will you see to it that everything is done?

7. Will you please pass me the book? 8. Could you give me a form to fill

in? 9. Could you prepare the report next month? 10. Will you be able to

meet them at the station?

 

VIII. Make up short dialogues using the model. You should either grant or

refuse permission.

Model: Bring my girl? Borrow your car?

A: Is it all right if I bring my girl?

B: Yes, of course.

A: And do you mind my borrowing your car to take her home after

the party?

B: I’d rather you didn’t. I’ll need it myself.

1) Make a call from your mobile phone? Borrow your mobile phone?

2) Have a break for lunch? Have three days off? 3) Have a drink? Have a

cup of strong coffee? 4) Go to the bank of the river? Have a swim? 5) Take

a seat? Have a smoke?

 

IX. Refuse or give permission in accordance with the stimuli:

1. Can I borrow your book for a moment, please? – (Yes). 2. Is it OK if I

take your car for the evening? – (No). 3. You don’t mind if I come a bit

later, do you? – (No). 4. (on the tube) May I sit there, please? – (No). 5. Do

you mind if drop in on Sunday? – (Yes). 6. Do you mind if I bring a bottle

of red wine? – (No). 36

 

X. You are at a friend’s house. Ask for permission to do things like this:

Example: borrow your camera?

Do you mind / Is it all right if I borrow your camera?

1. smoke? 2. have a drink? 3. close the window? 4. turn on the TV? 5. use

the bathroom? 6. borrow a few books? 7. take your umbrella? 8. open the

door?

 

XI. Refuse permission and give explanation to be polite:

Example: open the window – get a cold

A: Do you mind if I open the window?

B: I’d rather you didn’t if you don’t mind. I’m afraid I’ve got a bad cold.

1. borrow your book – need it this evening; 2. come late to dinner – important we start on time; 3. invite guests to dinner – want to spend a peaceful evening at home; 4. visit you on Sunday – want to relax; 5. call you tonight – my friend and I go out;

 

XII. Ask a person you don’t know very well for permission.

1. make a phone call; 2. buy tickets to the cinema; 3. borrow a video camera for two days; 4. work in the lab; 5. make some coffee.

XIII. Fill in the missing words.

1. Will you see to … that everything is ready in time? 2. Could you help

me … the translation. 3. Could you do me a …? 4. Will you do … best?

5. I’d … you didn’t. 6. Do you …opening the window? 7. I don’t … to

have any chance on me. 8. … you mind if I smoke? 9. Will you help me? –

Most …. 37

 

XIV. Make short conversations in the following situations:

1. You are traveling by train on a hot day with all the windows shut. Ask

politely if you can open one.

2. Ask your Dean for permission to take an examination in theoretical

grammar over again.

3. You are having a birthday party. Suddenly one of your friends says that

he / she is feeling bad. Ask your father’s permission to use his car to take

your friend home.

4. You have been invited to your cousin’s wedding party. You think it will

be more fun if a friend of yours joins you. Ask your cousin’s permission to

bring your friend.

5. Before taking an examination in phraseology you were to write an essay.

It must be given in by April 30

th

but you didn’t do it because of illness.

Ask politely for your teacher’s permission to give your essay in next week.

6. A friend of yours borrowed your book and hasn’t given it back to you.

Ask him/her politely to give it back to you this week.

 

UNIT 5

How to Apologize

Read the text and do exercises given after it.

An apology is an expression of remorse or

guilt over having said or done something that is

acknowledged to be hurtful or damaging, and a

request for forgiveness. However, it can be difficult to swallow our pride and say "I'm sorry." First of all you should determine what went wrong. Did you say something insensitive (whether

your comment was accurate or not is irrelevant)? Did you fail to come

through on a promise? Was the offense recent or long ago? You can't apologize effectively if you don't know what you are apologizing for. If you

don't think you did anything wrong, then express regret or sadness for the

feeling that someone is experiencing as a result of what you did. Presum-38

 

ing the effect was unintended, the basis of the apology often lies in not

having foreseen how your actions would affect this person, realizing that

the benefits of the action did not outweigh the unforeseen consequences,

and wanting to compensate for your oversight. However, if the other person does think you did something wrong, just apologizing for the effect,

and not acknowledging that you did something wrong, may mean the two

of you can't reach understanding.

Begin the apology by specifying your offenses and the feelings your

actions may have caused. Be detailed about the incident so that they know

exactly what you're apologizing for. Make it a point to avoid using the

words "but" or "if". ("I am sorry, but..." means "I am not sorry") Also,

do not say "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "I'm sorry if you were offended." Be sorry for what you did! "I'm sorry you feel that way" makes

it seem like you are blaming the other person, and is not a real apology.

Validate their feelings or discomfort by acknowledging your transgression's (potential) effects, while taking responsibility. Use direct, declarative

statements. Look at the next few statements below. There is a huge difference between them. The first one acknowledges that you recognize you did

something wrong, and takes ownership and responsibility for that action.

The next few do not take responsibility. They don't say that you believe

you did anything wrong. They can imply you aren't even aware of what

you actually did wrong, and can seem like you're shifting blame to the other person for being easily offended:

Good: "I'm sorry I was offensive."

Bad: "I'm sorry if I was offensive."

Bad: "I'm sorry you were offended."

Bad: "I'm sorry for anything that was offensive [to you]."

Good example: "Boss, I'm sorry I'm late again, I know my shift started

10 minutes ago. I hope this doesn't complicate your day."

Good example: "Dear, I'm sorry I forgot your birthday - there's no excuse. I hope you don't feel neglected. Please, let me set this right."

Bad example: "I'm sorry I broke your vase, but I was mad and I needed to take my anger out on something." 39

 

Make amends. Think about what caused you to make the offense. Is

it because you're a little too laid back about being on time, or remembering

important dates? Is it because you tend to react instantly to certain comments, without pausing to consider an alternative point of view? Is it because you are unhappy with your life, and you unknowingly take it out on

others? Find the underlying problem, describe it to the person (as an explanation, not an excuse), and tell them what you intend to do to rectify that

problem so that you can avoid this mistake in the future:

"I snapped at you because I've been so stressed out with work lately,

and it's selfish of me to take it out on you. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to cut down my hours to X per week. I really think it'll help me

unwind, and help us spend more quality time together."

"I've been distant and cold because I get paranoid that you're going to

walk out on me because I don't have a job. But that's a terrible thing

to do. Look, here's a list of things I'm going to do to find a job

ASAP..."

Be patent. If an apology is not accepted, thank them for hearing you

out and leave the door open for if they wish to reconcile later. (E.g. "I understand you're still upset about it, but thanks for giving me the

chance to apologize. If you ever change your mind, please give me a

call.") Sometimes people want to forgive you, but they still need a little

time to cool off. If you are lucky enough for your apology to be accepted:

Avoid the temptation to throw in a few excuses at the end. Instead,

have a transition planned out beforehand for what you can do to solidify

the clean slate (e.g. "Let's go get some coffee and catch up. It'll be my

treat. I miss knowing what you're up to.").

Remember, just because someone accepts your apology doesn't mean

they've fully forgiven you. It can take time, maybe a long time, before the

injured party can completely let go and fully trust you again. There is little

you can do to speed this process up, but there are endless ways to bog it

down. If the person is truly important to you, it's worth it to give them the

time and space they need to heal. Don't expect them to go right back to acting normally immediately. At the same time, don't let someone hang this

over your head for the rest of your life. The same way you need to learn

how to apologize, they need to learn how to forgive. 40

 

Stick to your word. A true apology entails a resolution, and you have

to carry out your promise in order for the apology to be sincere and complete. Otherwise, your apologies will lose their meaning, and trust may disappear beyond the point of no return.

Here are some expressions used for apologizing:

I’m terribly/very/awfully sorry for being late/troubling you/disturbing

you, etc. (slightly formal, emphatic).

I’m very sorry, I’m afraid I’ve lost your book/overslept this morning, etc.

(polite)

Sorry for interrupting /coming so late/breaking your cup, etc. (informal)

Sorry, (I didn’t mean to). Sorry, it was wrong of me. (direct, informal)

I apologize for splitting tea on the table-cloth/taking your book home, etc.

(formal)

If you react to apologies unhappily, you can say like that:

Oh, dear (that’s a pity). (quite polite)

Oh, no! (informal, very strong)

By means of the following expressions you can make an excuse:

I had no intention of hurting your feelings, really. I didn’t mean to,

really. (rather formal)

It really wasn’t my fault, you see, I just couldn’t help it. (informal)

Accepting apologies you can choose one of the following phrases:

That’s quite all right. These things happen: it can’t be helped. I quite

understand. (Please, don’t worry).

That’s/It’s OK. Never mind. That/ It doesn’t matter. (informal)

 

DIALOGUES

Note the expressions used in the dialogue and the progression of the conversation. The dialogue can be used as a model to have similar conversations.

1. - Oh, excuse me.

- It’s all right.”

2. - Must be awfully sorry, old boy.

- Oh, that’s OK.” 41

 

3. - Pardon me for calling you, up so late.

-That’s all right.”

4. - I’m awfully sorry. I’ve broken your cup.”

- Oh, don’t worry about that.

- I do apologize. I’ll buy you a new one on Monday.”

- No, I won’t hear of it. That’s out of the question.”

5. - Excuse me, could you tell me the correct time, please?

- I beg your pardon. I didn’t catch what you said.

- Sorry, so has mine.

- Never mind, the bus is coming anyway.

6. - I’m terribly sorry, I was thrown off balance.

- Oh, that’s all right.

7. Cynthia: Hi, Victor, do you think it’s possible for us to have a talk

sometime today?

Victor: I’d love to, but I’ve got a pretty tight schedule today.

Cynthia: Oh, what have you got going on?

Victor: Well, I’ve got to finish a report by ten. Then I have to drive to

the to pick up a client of mine at eleven. After that, I’ll have a meeting

with him over lunch. I guess I won’t have a break until two o’clock.

Cynthia: Wow, that’s cutting it close.

8. Joe: Sir, did I do anything wrong?

Officer: Yes, sir. You ran through the stop sign. May I see your driver

license, please?

Joe: Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see the stop sign at the corner. I didn’t

mean it.

Officer: That doesn’t justify your violation. May I see your license,

please?

Joe: Oh, sorry, sir, I don’t have it on me. Honestly, I forgot it back at

the house. But I have the insurance policy with me. Here it is.

Officer: Please wait here, sir. I’ll come back in a moment.

 

EXERCISES

I. Discuss the following questions:

1. What does the language of apologies depend on? 2. Why do you have to

avoid such words as “but” and “if” while apologizing? 3. Why is it important to make amends? 4. Which are the most polite ways of apologizing

in English? 5. What language do the British use for making excuses in

formal situations? 6. Is the language of apologies and excuses the same in

both informal and formal situations?

 

II. Read the conversation and answer the questions given after the text.

Smith: Late again, Tom

Tom: I’m sorry, I’m late, Mr.Smith, but …

Smith: Oh, don’t tell me your train was late.

Tom: No, it wasn’t but …

Smith: What’s your excuse this time then, Tom?

Tom: The 8.00 train was cancelled so I had to wait for the next train.

Smith: Cancelled, was it?

Tom: Yes, just my luck.

Smith: Well, that’s rather strange. Your colleague got here all right. He

doesn’t seem to have any problem with the trains.

 

Questions:

1. Do you think Mr. Smith believes Tom’s excuse? Explain your answer.

2. What could you correct in this dialogue.

3. What different excuses could Tom have given if he’d traveled by car?

III. Read the conversation and answer the questions given below.

Wife: you didn’t ring me last night. You said you would.

Husband: I’m sorry.

Wife: And why were so rude to me at lunch?

Husband: Was I? Sorry. I didn’t mean to be.

Wife: And why are you yawning now? Are you bored?

Husband: Forgive me, darling. I’m terribly tired. 43

 

Questions:

1. Do the speakers sound informal? If so, what language shows they do?

2. Does the husband talk apologetically? If so, what language shows he is?

3. What else could the husband have said with the same meaning?

 

IV. React to the questions, using one of the following expressions:

That’s all right. Never mind. Forget it. Not at all. You needn’t apologize. You are not to blame. It’s my fault. No trouble at all.

1. Excuse my back. 2. Excuse my troubling you. 3. Excuse my being late.

4. Apologize to Henry for me. 5. I’m afraid I’m taking up too much of your

time. 6. Excuse my disturbing you. 7. Sorry I’ve torn the magazine you

gave me. 8. I must apologize for my behavior. I know I was rude. 9. I beg

your pardon. Have I frightened you? 10. Don’t speak all together. One at a

time, please.

 

V. Fill in the missing words.

1. Excuse my going first …. 2. … I meant well. 3. You needn’t apologize

…. 4. … I didn’t let you know in time. 5. I’ve kept the book so long. You

probably needed it. 6 “ … “ - “ Forget it.” 7. “ … “ - “ Never mind.” 8. “

… “ - “ No trouble at all.” 9. “ … “ - “ It was a slip of the pen.” 10. “ … “

- “I was a slip of the tongue.” 11. “I know you hate it when people interrupt you. I’m sorry I did.” - “ ….” 12. “I’ve got to apologize. I wrote it in

pencil.” - “ ….”

 

VI. What would you say in the following situations?

1. You’ve borrowed a book of mine and lost it.

2. We were to meet at 7 p.m. You were fifteen minutes late.

3. I was walking down the street when you bumped into me. You didn’t

see me.

4. You phoned me at night. I was trying to get to sleep after a long day and

you disturbed me. 44

 

5. You and your friend discover that two men are sitting in the seats

you’ve reserved in the lecture hall.

6. You’re 5 minutes late for the lecture on philosophy. It’s not the first

time you’ve been late.

7. You’re a salesgirl. You’ve given a customer the wrong change.

8. You’ve hurt your friend’s feelings.

9. You’ve forgotten to telephone your friend.

10. You accidentally step on someone’s foot.

11. You were rude to a friend and want to apologize.

12. Your colleague is asking you for the loan of some money. You are not

able to help her. You are a bit hard up at the moment.

 

VII. Make short conversations in the following situations:

1. You’re walking through the park when a small dog runs up to you and

nips your ankle. The owner rushes up and apologizes profusely. Accept

his/her apology and try to reassure him/her that you are not hurt.

2. You have to break a promise to go to a party because you have to complete an important work. Call your friend and apologize. Your friend accepts you apology.

3. At a party a few weeks ago you lost your temper with one of the guests.

You’ve just met him/her again and are apologizing for your behaviour

which you think was due to overtiredness. Your apology is generously accepted.

4. A letter sent to your neighbor was delivered to you and you opened it by

mistake. Explain to him/her and apologize.

5. For the first time in your life you’ve arrived very late, and you see your

boss is annoyed. How do you apologize?

 

UNIT 6

Making suggestions

 

Read the text and do exercises given after it.

The British (and English people, more specifically) are often stereotyped as being very indirect in their

style-that is, implying their meanings rather than saying exactly what they

mean. (The stereotypical British use of irony is a classic example of this--

saying the opposite of what one means in order to implicate one's true

meaning.) Americans, on the other hand, are often stereotyped as being

very direct--brash or bossy, even.

What happens when people from these cultures make suggestions?

A speech act is understood as a suggestion when the following conditions

apply:

- The speaker (S) wants the hearer (H) to consider the action proposed.

- S and H know that H is not obliged to carry out the action proposed by S.

- S believes that the suggestion is in the interest of H.

- S may or may not include herself/himself in the proposed action.

Unlike other speech acts, suggestions might not have a strong potential for intercultural misunderstanding. That is, on the whole, the British

and Americans do not differ in whether they prefer direct or indirect strategies for suggestions. Still, there are some differences in how the indirect

strategies are phrased, with the British modifying their requests more (using 'upgraders' and 'downtoners') and Americans relying more on the 'head'

of the suggestion--the unadorned sentence and its verb phrase in particular.

One difference was in the modal verbs used in suggestions. British

speakers use more modals of obligation (should, shall), while Americans

tend toward(s) can, but Americans also use more Why don't you...?

(Note: the fact that you say either is not counterevidence to this! Both cultures use all these strategies--but at different rates in the corpora.) 46

 

The British-preferred modals of obligation are considered by some

linguists to be more direct. That is, they're communicating the directive

meaning: 'I think you should do this'. Can on the other hand, is (arguably--

depending on how you like your modal verb analysis) ambiguous between

a weak obligatory meaning and a capability meaning: i.e. 'you are able to

do this and therefore you have the option to do it'.

Note: Why don't you... might be perceived as bossy. It has no modal

at all. It sounds like it's implying that the other person should have already

thought of doing the suggested thing.

The British indirectness tends to come from the use of modifiers,

such as with understaters like a bit, to begin with, for the moment and

downgraders like just, perhaps, at least, maybe, probably. With these

markers missing, no wonder British people find the foreigners bossy.

Americans are more likely to expect negotiation to follow suggestions, whereas the British are more likely to expect compliance.

Could is supposed to be more natural in suggestions than can, and

it's a bit more indirect.

In case you want to know somebody better, the normal thing to do in

English is to suggest doing something together. But the British don’t say it

directly: they don’t, for example, say “Would you like to go to the cinema

this evening?” without some preparation. A general question may be used

as a form of such preparation: “Are you doing something special this

evening?” “Are you going to do anything special?” “Will you be busy

on Saturday?”

The normal ways of replying to the questions like these are:

1. I don’t really know what I’m going to do. I haven’t really thought

about it.

2. Well, well … I … (then you should give an excuse, but the British understand that you mean “I don’t want to come” because of the kind of excuse you give. In English a good excuse always involves someone else –

either explicitly: “I’m afraid I’ve promised to drop in and see John this

evening,” or implicitly: “ I’m afraid, I’ve got a lot of work to do before

Monday” 47

 

3. You show the other person you would like to get to know them better

but you have a good reason that you can’t accept the particular suggestion

he has made.

In order to make suggestions you can use the following phrases:

“Let’s have a snack?” “Why don’t we go to a concert?” “Shall we listen

to a new song?” “Why not see a new film?” “How does the idea of arranging a party appeal to you?” All the above expressions are considered

to be informal.

A tentative way of making a suggestion can be like this: “I suggest/suppose we/they/you might/could discuss it later.”

If you ask for a suggestion politely you can say like that: “What

would you like to do/say?” “What do you suggest we should do/write?”

“Is there anything in particular you would like to do?” But if you speak

to your friend you can do it more directly: “What do you fancy doing?”

To express an alternative suggestion in a formal way, you may use

one of the following phrases: “ Wouldn’t you rather stay at home?”

“Wouldn’t it be better if you didn’t go outside.” “Might I suggest that

we go to another restaurant for a change?”

If you want to agree to a suggestion formally, you can do it in the

following way: “That’s a good idea.” “That sounds like a good idea.”

“That’s certainly a possibility/not a bad idea.” If you tend to be informal, then you can reply: “Yes, great/fine!”

If you want to disagree with a suggestion the following formal

phrases will be suitable: “That’s a good idea but I’d rather not. I’ve got

a terrible headache.” “That’s not a bad idea but I’m afraid I haven’t got

a minute to spare.”

The informal expressions are: “I don’t think I can/could/would

stay here for two days.” “I’d rather not discuss this matter at the moment.” 48

 

DIALOGUES

Note the expressions used in the dialogue and the progression of the conversation. The dialogue can be used as a model to have similar conversations.

1. Robbie: It’s time since we’ve eaten. I’m quite hungry, what about you?

Gayle: I’m a bit peckish, too, but it’s quite late and we don’t anything

too heavy before we go to bed.

Robbie: What do you suggest?

Gayle: Well, a little light supper wouldn’t do us any harm!

Robbie: Such as?

Gayle: I could make a cheese and potato salad.

Robbie: That’ll do nicely.

2. Donald: Let’s eat out, shall we?

Debra: I’m broke. I’ve gone through my paycheck for the week already.

Donald: Don’t worry about it. It’s my treat.

Debra: Are you sure? You’re so generous!

Donald: And nice, too.

Debra: So, where are you taking me?

Donald: Some place you’ve never been before. Donald’s Kitchen.

3. Kato: How about having dinner together?

Mori: Fine.

Kato: Shall we have Japanese or American food?

Mori: Whatever you say!

Kato: There is a good steak house around the corner.

Mori: That’s a good idea. 49

 

4. Mary: What a beautiful place! Just like in a fairy tale – nice and quiet,

with the grass so green. Oh, look, there’s a stream running under those

big trees. Why not stop here for a short rest?

Nick: OK. Some of us need a rest. Nina looks very tired. She’s been

lagging behind us for the last kilometer or so. I think this place will do

well.

John: I don’t know how it is with you, but I’m as hungry as a hunter.

Tom: I suggest we might have a bite and then go sunbathing.

Nick: I don’t mind taking something hot inside. I’ve been having

stomach-ache for an hour or so. Who’ll make the fire?

John: I’ll make the fire. I can do it with one match. It won’t be difficult

with all the dry sticks lying around.

Mary: Who’s got the kettle? I’ll run down to the stream and bring some

water.

5. Wayne: Why don’t we eat out?

Lilia: I’m going to fix some pork chops.

Wayne: Not when you are hungry.

Lilia: Again? Weren’t you just complaining that it’s too expensive to eat

out?

Wayne: I’m afraid the meat is rotten.

Lilia: That’s strange! I just bought it yesterday.

Wayne: Well, I forgot to put it in the refrigerator.

Lilia: Good for you! Now what should we eat?

6. Donald: Some place you’ve never been before. Donald’s Kitchen.

Debra: You are sure? You are so generous! 50

 

Donald: And nice, too.

Debra: I’m broke. I’ve gone through my paycheck for the week already.

Donald: Let’s eat out, shall we?

Debra: So, where are you taking me?

Donald: Don’t worry about that. It’s my treat.

 

EXERCISES

I. Read the conversation and answer the questions given below.

Mrs. Crag: Would you like some tea?

Mrs. Brown: I’d rather have coffee, if it’s no trouble.

Mrs. Crag: Would you like it with milk and sugar?

Mrs. Brown: Well, I’d rather have it black, if you don’t mind.

Mrs. Crag: Not at all. How much sugar would you like?

Mrs. Brown: I don’t take sugar, thank you.

 

Questions:

1. What terms are Mrs. Crag and Mrs. Brown on? 2. Do they speak formal

or informal English? 3. What language does Mrs. Brown use to make alternative suggestions? 4. Do you think Mrs. Brown polite? If so, what language shows she is? 5. What other language might Mrs. Brown have used

with the same meaning in the same situation?

 

II. Read the conversation and answer the questions given below.

Peter: Excuse me for asking, are you doing anything special at the week-

end?

Mary: Well, I don’t really know what I’m going to do. As a matter of fact,

I haven’t really thought about it. 51

 

Peter: Would you like to play tennis with us on Saturday?

Mary: Yes, I would. What a good idea!

Peter: Would you like to play singles or doubles?

Mary: Let’s play singles and then the best boy can play the best girl.

Would you like that?

Peter: Yes, we would. Let’s do that.

 

Questions:

1. Are the speakers on equal terms? 2. What language shows that they

know each other well? 3. Why do you think Peter didn’t make his suggestion directly? 4. What other language might he have used with the

same meaning? 5. How might Mary have answered him instead of saying: “Well, I don’t really know …”?

III. Read the conversation and answer the questions given below.

Mary: Let’s have a party.

John: What a good idea! When shall we have it?

Mary: What about Saturday evening?

John: Fine and where shall we have it?

Mary: In your flat.

John: Oh, you know what my roommate’s like. He won’t let us have a

party there. Let’s ask someone else.

 

Questions:

1. Are the speakers on equal terms? 2. Do the speakers use formal or informal language? 3. What language does John use to turn down Mary’s

suggestion? 4. How does this refusal sound? 5. What language do you

think Mary should have used if she had spoken to a man she doesn’t know

very well? 52

 

IV. React to the following suggestions:

1. Let’s drop in and see our friends tonight. 2. Why don’t we go to the theatre tonight? 3. Wouldn’t you rather stay at home? 4. Why not go for a

walk? 5. Might I suggest that we go to another restaurant for a change?

6. Wouldn’t it be better if you didn’t go outside; it’s raining cats and dogs.

 

V. Fill in the missing words:

1. … we listen to a new disk? 2. Are you doing something … this evening? 3. Is there anything in … you would like to do? 4. What do you suggest we … do? 5. That’s a good idea but I’d … not. 6. How does the idea

of going somewhere on Sunday … to you. 7. Why … we eat out tonight.

8. Would you … to play volley-ball?

VI. Make short conversations in the following situations:

1. You want to go to a ballet. But your friend makes an alternative suggestion. She/he prefers the idea of seeing a play. You try to speak persuasively

and your friend agrees to your suggestion.

2. After a long day at the University you and your friend decided to go for

a meal at a café. Your friend shows indecision. Make your suggestion attractive.

3. You are going away for the weekend with a close friend. Call him/her to

make suggestions about your weekend: where to go, how to get there, how

long to stay, what to do, etc. Your friend is happy to spend the weekend

with you. He/she agrees to all your suggestions enthusiastically.

4. A friend of yours is in the hospital. You visit him/her and see he/she is

bored. Suggest something to occupy him/her.

5. Your friend has failed her/his exam and is looking rather depressed.

Give her/him your suggestions.

 

UNIT 7

How to give people advice

 

“The only thing to do with good advice is pass

it on. It is never any use to anyone”

Oscar Wilde

 

Read the text and do exercises given below.

First of all, make sure that the person who is talking to you is actually soliciting advice. He or she may just want you to listen and be a good

friend, seeking instead understanding, empathy, and compassion. Don’t assume that everyone wants advice. You may have some insight into the

problem(s), but you really need to listen attentively to a person first for a

very long time to understand the situation if, and only if, your friend actually asks for advice should you then furnish it.

It is a great honor to be asked for advice, but it is also a big responsibility. Good advice can help people make sound decisions and find the

right path in life, while bad advice can have disastrous consequences. Fortunately, with a little forethought you can weed out the good from the bad.

There are some rules which the British follow in giving advice. The

first: always listen carefully to the person who wants advice, and learn as

much as possible about this situation. If you need clarification, ask questions. Being an active listener will not only help you give good advice, it

will also increase the chances that the person will take your advice. The

second: put yourself in the advisee’s shoes, i.e. try to imagine yourself in

the other person’s situation. If you’ve been in a similar situation, think

about what you learned, but don’t rely solely on your experiences to give

advice for the unique circumstances that the other person is facing. The

third: think about the consequences of taking or not taking your advice. If

there’s no significant difference between the results of those two scenarios,

your advice might not be bad, but it’s not useful either. If you can envision

the path you suggest leading to a worse result than an alternative path

would, your advice probably is bad. The fourth: empathize. Many matters

require sensitivity and thoughtfulness. If you really try to put yourself in 54

 

the other person’s shoes (as suggested above) empathy will probably develop naturally. Even so, be very careful about how you word your advice

and be sensitive to the other person’s feelings and emotional state.

If the British give advice they do it in an apologetic and polite manner. The

degree of politeness depends on the situation they are in. When people discuss something or argue they are usually formal and polite. If the know

each other very well they are often informal and less polite.

When giving advice, it is important to avoid forms such as “You

must …”. The advice “I’d recommend you to work less” is more formal

and it is generally not used among friends.

In formal situations the British would say: “Personally, I would advise you to … “. “Perhaps it would be a good idea to go out.” “If I

were you I would not leave car doors unlocked.” “I think you’d better

not go to this party.” “I advise you to study for a degree in foreign languages.” “You may not agree with me, but it might be a good idea if

you do it beforehand.”

In the informal situation the British people would say: “You ought

to help him.” “I suggest/I think you should go to bed earlier.” “If I were

you I’d call her back.” “Why don’t you accept this invitation?” “Don’t

forget to shut the window”.

If you need some advice, you can use the following forms: “What do

you suggest I should do?” “Where/When do you suggest I should

go/have a holiday, etc.?” “Could you give me some advice about

sports/learning foreign languages, etc.?” “I was wondering if you could

(possibly) give me some advice about...?” (formal)

If you are in friendly relations with somebody, you can ask for an

advice in such a way: “What would you do in my position/if you were

me?”

If you want to accept advice, you can use the following phrases:

“That sounds/seems like a good idea/advice, thank you.”(possible in all

situations) “Well, that’s certainly a possibility.”(slightly tentative)

“Right/Yes, I’ll do/try that. Thanks.” “That’s a good idea, thanks. Yes,

I think I’ll try that.” (direct, informal). One of the variants of rejecting

advice is: “That’s not a good idea, I’m afraid. I’ve already tried that.” 55

 

DIALOGUES

 

Note the expressions used in the dialogue and the progression of the conversation. The dialogue can be used as a model to have similar conversations.

1. Jim: Is your restaurant licensed to serve hard drinks?

Waiter: Certainly, sir. And we have a wide choice of them too. At present

there isn’t a better restaurant than this one.

Jim: Very well. I’d like to have dinner. What would you recommend for

the first course?

Waiter: I think there is nothing like chicken soup which is, incidentally,

our cook’s favorite job.

Jim: Indeed? And choosing a grill, what will you suggest?

Waiter: Oh, sir: if you order roasted mutton, you make a fine meal. And

what about the sweet, sir?

Jim: I’ll go without it. Just a glass of orange juice, and that’s all.

Waiter: Well … you asked me about strong drinks. What will you have,

sir?

Jim: Nothing whatever. It was a mere curiosity

 

2. Danny: I’m thinking of applying for a manager’s job.

Victor: Well, you’ve got plenty of experience, so you should have a good

chance.

Danny: I’m going to work on my resume tonight after work.

Victor: I’d wait until you get the job description if I were you.

Danny: Why do you say that?

Victor: Well, then you’ll be able to tailor your resume to fit the job.

 

3. Ann: Is there anything I can do? I’d like to help in some way.

Kate: I can’t think of anything at the moment.

Ann: Well, maybe I could run errands or something.

Kate: You could if I needed something. 56

 

Ann: I feel so useless just hanging around with nothing to do.

Kate: In a couple of days there’ll be too much to do. Then you’ll want to

be back in these lazy days.

Ann: I guess I’m just a workaholic. I never was very good at doing nothing.

Kate: Maybe you should learn how to relax.

 

4. Earnest: I would really like to study computing, but I can’t afford the

time or money for a course.

Gayle: I suppose you’re talking about a full-time course, but that’s not the

only option you know.

Earnest: Well what else could I do?

Gayle: You could do it by distance learning. My brother’s just completed a

distance learning course in HR management.

Earnest: Was he satisfied with it? Was it any good?

Gayle: Yes, he was, although he said it was tough to come home tired after

a day’s work and then to do two or three hours of study before going to

bed.

 

5. Terri: Derrick, don’t you think you should take a vocation? Even one or

two days would be fine.

Derrick: There’s no way. There’s too much work.

Terri: But you look so exhausted. You need a break.

Derrick: I know. My chances would be better if they would hire more people.

Terri: They won’t hire more people.