Words and Phrases Widely Used in Conversations

UNIT 1

Words and Phrases Widely Used in Conversations

There is a number of words and phrases in English which are widely used for governing conversation. They usually do not contain any information; they just show the speaker’s attitude and the relationship to the other person. These words are used by the British

not as a sign of politeness but also in normal situations: “Thank you.”

“Sorry.” ‘Excuse me …” “I’m afraid …” “Thanks.” “That’s all right.”

“Oh!” “Really?” “Please.” “Certainly.”

In formal situations you should use “Thank you very much”.

“Thanks” and “Thanks a lot” are said to a friend and people you know

well. In Britain we can hear two other even shorter words which are used

in the same way: “Ta”(often used by children and in combinations like

“Ta, love” by shopkeepers and so on) and “Kyou” (mostly used by people

who have to say “Thank you” time and time again every day in their jobs,

e.g. bus conductors, ticket collectors and so on). If someone does something important for you may add “That is/was kind of you” and stress on “was” or “is”.

“Sorry!” is used after you have slightly inconvenienced somebody. If

you really regret something, then you should use a stronger form “I’m terribly sorry”. Often if somebody says “Oh, sorry!” you reply “Oh, sorry!” (for example, if two people run into each other).

“Sorry?” is used to ask a person to repeat what they said. It can be

Used: 1) because you didn’t hear them; 2) because you didn’t understand

UNIT 2

How to Start a Conversation

 

Read the text and do exercises given after it.

How many times have you found yourself in

a situation where you wanted to start a conversation but couldn’t think of anything to say. So, for many people, starting a conversation with a stranger is an intimidating

task. But for you, after reading this article, it will be a breeze. 13

 

A usual way of beginning a conversation with a strangers is to discuss the weather. Foreigners are often amused that the British spend so much time talking about the weather. The reason for this is not simply that the weather in Britain is interesting and variable, but the British are reluctant to speak about personal matters with people, who are not friends. So when they meet they nearly always make some comments about the

weather to be sociable. Often strangers talk about the weather in bus

queues or in shops. You should always agree with the person if he/she

makes a comment about the weather. So, mentioning the weather can be a

useful and inoffensive way of starting a conversation with a stranger.

Phrases that can be used when speaking about the weather:

Good weather (opening remarks): “(Very) nice, isn’t it?” “Nice and

warm (sunny), isn’t it?” “Quite mild, isn’t it?” Lovely day, isn’t it?”

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Possible replies: “Yes, beautiful. And they say it’s going to stay

warm for the next couple of days.” “Yes, very nice. We could do with

some nice weather for a change.” “Yes, wonderful. It’s about time we

had some sun.” “Yes, lovely. Let’s hope it keeps like this.” “Yes, marvelous. Makes a change from all the rain we’ve had lately.”

Bad weather (opening remarks):”A bit cold (windy), isn’t it?” “Rather wet, isn’t it?” “Very cloudy, isn’t it?” “ Shocking day, isn’t it?” “

Terrible weather, isn’t it?” “Not very promising, is it?” “ Looks like

rain, doesn’t it?” “Shocking day/Terrible weather today, isn’t it?”

“Not very nice/promising, isn’t it?” “Looks like rain, doesn’t it.”

Possible replies: ”Yes, horrible. And they say it’s going to stay

like this until the week-end.” “Yes, terrible. Good for the garden,

though.” “Yes, awful (shocking). I’ll be glad when the summer comes.”

“No, terrible. It’s about time we had some sun.” “Yes, it does. No sign

of it changing.” 14

 

The best beginning for the conversation is “Hi”. The second step is

to introduce yourself, “Hi, I am Jim.” Then it goes depending on circumstances. The three most popular and foolproof conversation-starters are:

- Make a comment about the surroundings;

- Enquire about something unusual in their appearance;

- Ask for a comment from a woman’s/man’s point of view.

Making a comment about the surroundings:

This is the safest and universal conversation-starter. Wherever you

are, something is always happening around you. Even when there is nothing happening, you can make a comment about that. Use a bit of humour in

your comment and most of the time you will get a favourable answer.

For example:

“Hi, what a chilly (when it’s really hot)/ hot (when it’s really chilly)

day today. I see you are also shivering/sweating. By the way, my name

is Jim. What is your name?”

“Hi, you know, you look pretty with these awesome roses as the backdrop. By the way, my name is Jim. What is your name?”

“ Hey, this queue doesn’t seem to be moving, does it? Since we are going to spend the next few hours here together, I guess I should introduce myself. I am Jim. What is your name?”

Enquiring About Something unusual in Their Appearance:

This requires some skill but after a while you will be able to pick up

something in an instant. It can be a tattoo, a piece of jewelry, a handbag, or

even an unusual color. People don’t buy things at random. They buy them

and wear them because they mean something to them. They have some

pleasant emotion attached to it. If you mention this thing, you can tap in

this pleasant emotion and they will consider your advances more favorably.

For example:

“Hi! I could not help but noticed this interesting ring. It isn’t an engagement ring, is it? If it is, I will have to end my life in a monastery.

And by the way, my name is Jim.” 15

 

“Hi, I was looking at your earrings; they are exactly what I was looking for, as a present for my sister. Where did you get them? And by

the way, my name is Jim.”

Asking For a Comment From a Woman’s/man’s point of view:

For some mysterious reason, we just love rendering our opinion as a

woman/man. This is such a successful conversation-starter; you can use it

anywhere, on anyone. Even 90-year-old grannies will be happy to answer

your enquiries.

For example:

“Hi! I am Jim. My friend and I were talking about what women value

the most in men that date and could not agree. Could you please help

us out with a woman’s opinion.”

It doesn’t matter what you are asking about. The point is, we all understand that men and women think differently and we appreciate a

thoughtful stranger who makes an effort to learn from the source. Men and

women alike generally respond very positively to a friendly stranger.

A conversation often depends on questions. The person who asks questions in a conversation usually controls it. Personal questions should be expressed tactfully, otherwise you may appear to be rude. When asking questions of this

kind the British generally use: ”Excuse me for asking.” “Excuse me asking/my asking.” Other expressions are: “I wonder if you could tell me

your address?” “Excuse me, do you happen to know how often buses run

here?”

“Would you mind telling me about the structure of the University?” “I

hope you don’t mind my asking, but I’d like to know more about your research.”

English-speaking people do not usually ask or give exact information

about their age. It is usual to say that “someone is in his/her early twenties/thirties, etc.” 18

 

To make a general enquiry about somebody’s job the British use:

“What do you do? What do you do for a living?” The British never say:

“What’s your profession/work?”

Here’re some useful phrases for describing somebody’s job in more details:

“He’s/I’m in advertising/banking, etc.” “He’s/I’m responsible for recruiting the staff.” “He’s/I’m an English lecturer at Moscow University.” “I/ He deal/deals with the finance.” “I’m/He’s qualified as a program designer.”

In order to get more information you can use the following techniques:

“Can you tell me a bit more about the history of your company?”

“Sorry, but I’d like to know some more about your trip to Britain.”

“Sorry, that’s not quite what I meant.” “What I really wanted to know

was when exactly you’d be back.” “Sorry, I don’t quite understand.”

If you want to get some explanations during the conversation you can

do it like that: “What do you mean?” “What exactly do you mean?”

“Can you explain it in more detail, please?

If you want to interrupt when another person is speaking, you should

do it politely: “Excuse me, can I interrupt you for a moment?” “Sorry

to interrupt but I’ve got a question for you.” “I’d just like to say that

my friend has got a promotion.” “By the way (to change the subject)

I’ve decided to give up teaching.” “That reminds me of the meeting we

had last time.” “Hold on, please.” “Just a moment, please.”

If you want to prevent interruptions and make sure you continue to

hold the floor, you can use the following techniques:

1. “There are two points I’d like to make.” You can’t be easily interrupted until you have made them both.

2. You may also pause in the middle of a sentence. In this case you can’t

be easily interrupted until you’ve completed your sentence.

You may probably want to hear other people’s views and make sure everyone gets a chance to speak in a conversation. The following phrases may 19

 

be helpful: Don’t you agree, Jane, that English is a beautiful language?”

“What do you think, Nick, about Spanish painting?” “I expect you will

agree with me when I say that we can master English only if we study

much.” “ I don’t know what Mary thinks but I’m sure she knows more

about the problem than I do.”

Sometimes people speak indistinctly, so you may need to ask them to

repeat what they have said. Here’re the most common ways: ”Sorry, could

you say that again, (please)?” “Sorry, could you repeat that?” “Sorry,

would you mind repeating that.” “Sorry, I didn’t hear what you said.”

“Sorry, I didn’t (quite) catch what you said.

When you are at a loss for words, the following sentences may be

helpful: “I can’t think of the right word, but you know what I mean.”

“A sort of thing/food, etc. you know.” “You know the sort/kind of

thing I mean.” “I don’t quite know what you call it.” “One of those

things, you know.” “I can’t remember what it’s called.”

Possible answers may be: “Yes, I know what you mean.” “No, I’m

afraid I don’t remember what you mean.” “You mean your business

trip?” “Are you thinking of your colleagues?”

British people usually use tags to make sure their listeners are keeping up with them. Another good way to check if you are properly understood is to use different little phrases as: “…if you see what I mean” “I

don’t know if you can see that…” “And you know what I said?” “Can

you guess what I did/said, etc?” “See what I mean, etc.”

In more formal situations you might say: “Do you follow me?” “

Are you with me on that?” “All right so far?” “Is everything clear?”

“Got that?”

The importance of these little phrases cannot be overemphasized. In

fact they ask for a tacit agreement from listeners and seek their encouragement or approval to continue a conversation. And what is more important they make speakers sound less abrupt and bring listeners into the

talk. On the other hand listeners are also expected either to encourage 20

 

speakers or merely to show they are listening to be polite. Facial expressions, gestures and so on are very important indicators of attention and interest. So are certain words and intonation that can be used in uttering

them. Here are some useful words you might use to show you are involved

and share the speaker’s feelings: “Ah. Yes. Gosh. Sure. Yeah. Wow. Oh.

Really? Lovely. Mmm…right. Fancy that! I know. Fine. Well. I see.

OK. Exactly so.

These brief utterances point to the level of agreement and comprehension as well as reveal the listener’s emotional involvement. At the same

time you should not put too many of these utterances in, because in this

case the expression may be one of overbearing pugnacity or embarrassing

friendliness.

If you need to delay answering a question while you think for a moment or check on your facts you may use some delaying expressions:

“Well, let me see …” “Oh, let me think for a moment.” “I’m not sure,

I’ll just have to find it out.” “That’s a very interesting question.”

“That’s a difficult question to answer.” “It’s difficult to say.” “Let me

put it this way.” “What do you mean?”

These delaying expressions give people time to think about their replies.

If you want to avoid answering questions altogether you may use expressions like these: “I’m not really sure.” “I can’t tell you off-hand,

I’m afraid.” “I’m terribly sorry, I really don’t know.” “I’ve no idea,

I’m afraid.” “I can’t answer that one, but I’ll tell you where you can

find it out.” “I’d rather not answer that one, if you don’t mind.”

If you don’t want to discuss something, use the following phrases:

“Well, I’d rather leave individuals out of this.” “Well, I’d rather not

discuss it at the moment.” Well, I’d rather not talk about it if you

don’t mind.” “Well, I’d rather wait till I know more about it before I

say.” “Well, I’d rather wait before I commit myself.” 21

 

If the British want to terminate a conversation generally end a conversation with people or a person they know by an excuse and saying

something nice after the topics of common interest have been discussed,

e.g. “ Excuse me, I’m afraid I have to be going now. It was really a

pleasure to talk to you.” Some other ways may be: summing up a conversation by using “OK”,”Well”, etc. or/and making arrangements to speak to

the person at a later time. In a business conversation where there is a specific point to be discussed the British come to the point quickly. In this

case the conversation winds down after the point has been discussed and an

excuse is not necessary.

 

EXERCISES

I. Read the conversation and answer the questions given after the text.

A: Can I help you?

B: Yes, I’d like one of those things, oh, you know.

A: No, I’m afraid, I don’t.

B: You know the sort of thing I mean for holding papers together, I’ve forgotten what they are called.

A: Ah, you mean paper clips, don’t you?

B: No, not exactly. A sort of paper clip. Well, you know what I mean.

A: Sorry, I don’t.

B: They are little wire things you put in a machine and then press.

A: Ah, you mean staples, I think?

B: Yes, that’s right. I couldn’t remember what they were called. Thank

you.

 

Questions:

1. Does the first speaker try to be helpful? What language shows he does?

2. What other language could the first speaker have used with the same

meaning? 3. Do you think both speakers are polite and patient with each

other? 22

 

III. Look trough the lines and:

a) rearrange them to produce a natural dialogue:

1. Yes, please. Do you mind if I open the window?

2. No, I don’t think so. Would you like to look at my timetable?

3. No, I don’t think so. Shall I move my bag?

4. No, that’s quite all right. The train’s rather crowded, isn’t it?

5. Yes, I suppose so. By the way, it does stop at Brighton, doesn’t it?

6. Shall I look after your bag for you?

7. Yes, please.

8. Excuse me, is this seat taken?

9. No, that’s quite all right. I think, I’ll just go for a cup pf coffee.

10.Yes, it is, isn’t it? I suppose it’s because it’s Friday.

 

b) read the dialogue you have made up and answer the following questions:

1. Do the speakers know each other? 2. How did the speakers develop the

conversation after answering? 3. Do the two speakers sound friendly and

polite? If so, what language shows they are? 4. What sorts of developments

did the first speaker use? 5. What other sorts of developments do you think

might have been used in this situation?

 

IV. Make a natural response to the following remarks, remembering that

you should both answer and develop the conversation:

1. You’ve been to London, haven’t you? 2. Have you seen the paper today?

3. You’re not English, are you? 4. You work a lot, don’t you? 5. You haven’t got minute to spare, have you?

 

V. Make short conversations in the following situations.

1. Ask the person sitting next to some personal questions politely. Try to

sound interested when listening to her/him.

2. You meet a nice girl/boy outside your University. Strike up a conversation with her/him to find out whether: 1) she’s/he’s a student of your University; 2) she’s/he’s fond of history. 23

 

3. Your teacher has explained something, but you still don’t understand it

very well. Politely ask for clarification.

4. It’s your first day in a new group and you don’t know where to sit. Ask

one of the other students politely about the seating arrangements.

5. Some students come to your door to talk to you about a New-Year party.

You are not well. You have a lot of work. Get rid of them politely.

6. Someone who has started work in your organization asks you what the

boss is like. You don’t want to discuss him/her.

 

UNIT 4

Requests and Permission

Read the text and do exercises given after it.

How to Apologize

Read the text and do exercises given after it.

An apology is an expression of remorse or

guilt over having said or done something that is

acknowledged to be hurtful or damaging, and a

request for forgiveness. However, it can be difficult to swallow our pride and say "I'm sorry." First of all you should determine what went wrong. Did you say something insensitive (whether

your comment was accurate or not is irrelevant)? Did you fail to come

through on a promise? Was the offense recent or long ago? You can't apologize effectively if you don't know what you are apologizing for. If you

don't think you did anything wrong, then express regret or sadness for the

feeling that someone is experiencing as a result of what you did. Presum-38

 

ing the effect was unintended, the basis of the apology often lies in not

having foreseen how your actions would affect this person, realizing that

the benefits of the action did not outweigh the unforeseen consequences,

and wanting to compensate for your oversight. However, if the other person does think you did something wrong, just apologizing for the effect,

and not acknowledging that you did something wrong, may mean the two

of you can't reach understanding.

Begin the apology by specifying your offenses and the feelings your

actions may have caused. Be detailed about the incident so that they know

exactly what you're apologizing for. Make it a point to avoid using the

words "but" or "if". ("I am sorry, but..." means "I am not sorry") Also,

do not say "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "I'm sorry if you were offended." Be sorry for what you did! "I'm sorry you feel that way" makes

it seem like you are blaming the other person, and is not a real apology.

Validate their feelings or discomfort by acknowledging your transgression's (potential) effects, while taking responsibility. Use direct, declarative

statements. Look at the next few statements below. There is a huge difference between them. The first one acknowledges that you recognize you did

something wrong, and takes ownership and responsibility for that action.

The next few do not take responsibility. They don't say that you believe

you did anything wrong. They can imply you aren't even aware of what

you actually did wrong, and can seem like you're shifting blame to the other person for being easily offended:

Good: "I'm sorry I was offensive."

Bad: "I'm sorry if I was offensive."

Bad: "I'm sorry you were offended."

Bad: "I'm sorry for anything that was offensive [to you]."

Good example: "Boss, I'm sorry I'm late again, I know my shift started

10 minutes ago. I hope this doesn't complicate your day."

Good example: "Dear, I'm sorry I forgot your birthday - there's no excuse. I hope you don't feel neglected. Please, let me set this right."

Bad example: "I'm sorry I broke your vase, but I was mad and I needed to take my anger out on something." 39

 

Make amends. Think about what caused you to make the offense. Is

it because you're a little too laid back about being on time, or remembering

important dates? Is it because you tend to react instantly to certain comments, without pausing to consider an alternative point of view? Is it because you are unhappy with your life, and you unknowingly take it out on

others? Find the underlying problem, describe it to the person (as an explanation, not an excuse), and tell them what you intend to do to rectify that

problem so that you can avoid this mistake in the future:

"I snapped at you because I've been so stressed out with work lately,

and it's selfish of me to take it out on you. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to cut down my hours to X per week. I really think it'll help me

unwind, and help us spend more quality time together."

"I've been distant and cold because I get paranoid that you're going to

walk out on me because I don't have a job. But that's a terrible thing

to do. Look, here's a list of things I'm going to do to find a job

ASAP..."

Be patent. If an apology is not accepted, thank them for hearing you

out and leave the door open for if they wish to reconcile later. (E.g. "I understand you're still upset about it, but thanks for giving me the

chance to apologize. If you ever change your mind, please give me a

call.") Sometimes people want to forgive you, but they still need a little

time to cool off. If you are lucky enough for your apology to be accepted:

Avoid the temptation to throw in a few excuses at the end. Instead,

have a transition planned out beforehand for what you can do to solidify

the clean slate (e.g. "Let's go get some coffee and catch up. It'll be my

treat. I miss knowing what you're up to.").

Remember, just because someone accepts your apology doesn't mean

they've fully forgiven you. It can take time, maybe a long time, before the

injured party can completely let go and fully trust you again. There is little

you can do to speed this process up, but there are endless ways to bog it

down. If the person is truly important to you, it's worth it to give them the

time and space they need to heal. Don't expect them to go right back to acting normally immediately. At the same time, don't let someone hang this

over your head for the rest of your life. The same way you need to learn

how to apologize, they need to learn how to forgive. 40

 

Stick to your word. A true apology entails a resolution, and you have

to carry out your promise in order for the apology to be sincere and complete. Otherwise, your apologies will lose their meaning, and trust may disappear beyond the point of no return.

Here are some expressions used for apologizing:

I’m terribly/very/awfully sorry for being late/troubling you/disturbing

you, etc. (slightly formal, emphatic).

I’m very sorry, I’m afraid I’ve lost your book/overslept this morning, etc.

(polite)

Sorry for interrupting /coming so late/breaking your cup, etc. (informal)

Sorry, (I didn’t mean to). Sorry, it was wrong of me. (direct, informal)

I apologize for splitting tea on the table-cloth/taking your book home, etc.

(formal)

If you react to apologies unhappily, you can say like that:

Oh, dear (that’s a pity). (quite polite)

Oh, no! (informal, very strong)

By means of the following expressions you can make an excuse:

I had no intention of hurting your feelings, really. I didn’t mean to,

really. (rather formal)

It really wasn’t my fault, you see, I just couldn’t help it. (informal)

Accepting apologies you can choose one of the following phrases:

That’s quite all right. These things happen: it can’t be helped. I quite

understand. (Please, don’t worry).

That’s/It’s OK. Never mind. That/ It doesn’t matter. (informal)

 

DIALOGUES

Note the expressions used in the dialogue and the progression of the conversation. The dialogue can be used as a model to have similar conversations.

1. - Oh, excuse me.

- It’s all right.”

2. - Must be awfully sorry, old boy.

- Oh, that’s OK.” 41

 

3. - Pardon me for calling you, up so late.

-That’s all right.”

4. - I’m awfully sorry. I’ve broken your cup.”

- Oh, don’t worry about that.

- I do apologize. I’ll buy you a new one on Monday.”

- No, I won’t hear of it. That’s out of the question.”

5. - Excuse me, could you tell me the correct time, please?

- I beg your pardon. I didn’t catch what you said.

- Sorry, so has mine.

- Never mind, the bus is coming anyway.

6. - I’m terribly sorry, I was thrown off balance.

- Oh, that’s all right.

7. Cynthia: Hi, Victor, do you think it’s possible for us to have a talk

sometime today?

Victor: I’d love to, but I’ve got a pretty tight schedule today.

Cynthia: Oh, what have you got going on?

Victor: Well, I’ve got to finish a report by ten. Then I have to drive to

the to pick up a client of mine at eleven. After that, I’ll have a meeting

with him over lunch. I guess I won’t have a break until two o’clock.

Cynthia: Wow, that’s cutting it close.

8. Joe: Sir, did I do anything wrong?

Officer: Yes, sir. You ran through the stop sign. May I see your driver

license, please?

Joe: Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see the stop sign at the corner. I didn’t

mean it.

Officer: That doesn’t justify your violation. May I see your license,

please?

Joe: Oh, sorry, sir, I don’t have it on me. Honestly, I forgot it back at

the house. But I have the insurance policy with me. Here it is.

Officer: Please wait here, sir. I’ll come back in a moment.

 

EXERCISES

I. Discuss the following questions:

1. What does the language of apologies depend on? 2. Why do you have to

avoid such words as “but” and “if” while apologizing? 3. Why is it important to make amends? 4. Which are the most polite ways of apologizing

in English? 5. What language do the British use for making excuses in

formal situations? 6. Is the language of apologies and excuses the same in

both informal and formal situations?

 

II. Read the conversation and answer the questions given after the text.

Smith: Late again, Tom

Tom: I’m sorry, I’m late, Mr.Smith, but …

Smith: Oh, don’t tell me your train was late.

Tom: No, it wasn’t but …

Smith: What’s your excuse this time then, Tom?

Tom: The 8.00 train was cancelled so I had to wait for the next train.

Smith: Cancelled, was it?

Tom: Yes, just my luck.

Smith: Well, that’s rather strange. Your colleague got here all right. He

doesn’t seem to have any problem with the trains.

 

Questions:

1. Do you think Mr. Smith believes Tom’s excuse? Explain your answer.

2. What could you correct in this dialogue.

3. What different excuses could Tom have given if he’d traveled by car?

III. Read the conversation and answer the questions given below.

Wife: you didn’t ring me last night. You said you would.

Husband: I’m sorry.

Wife: And why were so rude to me at lunch?

Husband: Was I? Sorry. I didn’t mean to be.

Wife: And why are you yawning now? Are you bored?

Husband: Forgive me, darling. I’m terribly tired. 43

 

Questions:

1. Do the speakers sound informal? If so, what language shows they do?

2. Does the husband talk apologetically? If so, what language shows he is?

3. What else could the husband have said with the same meaning?

 

IV. React to the questions, using one of the following expressions:

That’s all right. Never mind. Forget it. Not at all. You needn’t apologize. You are not to blame. It’s my fault. No trouble at all.

1. Excuse my back. 2. Excuse my troubling you. 3. Excuse my being late.

4. Apologize to Henry for me. 5. I’m afraid I’m taking up too much of your

time. 6. Excuse my disturbing you. 7. Sorry I’ve torn the magazine you

gave me. 8. I must apologize for my behavior. I know I was rude. 9. I beg

your pardon. Have I frightened you? 10. Don’t speak all together. One at a

time, please.

 

V. Fill in the missing words.

1. Excuse my going first …. 2. … I meant well. 3. You needn’t apologize

…. 4. … I didn’t let you know in time. 5. I’ve kept the book so long. You

probably needed it. 6 “ … “ - “ Forget it.” 7. “ … “ - “ Never mind.” 8. “

… “ - “ No trouble at all.” 9. “ … “ - “ It was a slip of the pen.” 10. “ … “

- “I was a slip of the tongue.” 11. “I know you hate it when people interrupt you. I’m sorry I did.” - “ ….” 12. “I’ve got to apologize. I wrote it in

pencil.” - “ ….”

 

VI. What would you say in the following situations?

1. You’ve borrowed a book of mine and lost it.

2. We were to meet at 7 p.m. You were fifteen minutes late.

3. I was walking down the street when you bumped into me. You didn’t

see me.

4. You phoned me at night. I was trying to get to sleep after a long day and

you disturbed me. 44

 

5. You and your friend discover that two men are sitting in the seats

you’ve reserved in the lecture hall.

6. You’re 5 minutes late for the lecture on philosophy. It’s not the first

time you’ve been late.

7. You’re a salesgirl. You’ve given a customer the wrong change.

8. You’ve hurt your friend’s feelings.

9. You’ve forgotten to telephone your friend.

10. You accidentally step on someone’s foot.

11. You were rude to a friend and want to apologize.

12. Your colleague is asking you for the loan of some money. You are not

able to help her. You are a bit hard up at the moment.

 

VII. Make short conversations in the following situations:

1. You’re walking through the park when a small dog runs up to you and

nips your ankle. The owner rushes up and apologizes profusely. Accept

his/her apology and try to reassure him/her that you are not hurt.

2. You have to break a promise to go to a party because you have to complete an important work. Call your friend and apologize. Your friend accepts you apology.

3. At a party a few weeks ago you lost your temper with one of the guests.

You’ve just met him/her again and are apologizing for your behaviour

which you think was due to overtiredness. Your apology is generously accepted.

4. A letter sent to your neighbor was delivered to you and you opened it by

mistake. Explain to him/her and apologize.

5. For the first time in your life you’ve arrived very late, and you see your

boss is annoyed. How do you apologize?

 

UNIT 6

Making suggestions

 

Read the text and do exercises given after it.

The British (and English people, more specifically) are often stereotyped as being very indirect in their

style-that is, implying their meanings rather than saying exactly what they

mean. (The stereotypical British use of irony is a classic example of this--

saying the opposite of what one means in order to implicate one's true

meaning.) Americans, on the other hand, are often stereotyped as being

very direct--brash or bossy, even.

What happens when people from these cultures make suggestions?

A speech act is understood as a suggestion when the following conditions

apply:

- The speaker (S) wants the hearer (H) to consider the action proposed.

- S and H know that H is not obliged to carry out the action proposed by S.

- S believes that the suggestion is in the interest of H.

- S may or may not include herself/himself in the proposed action.

Unlike other speech acts, suggestions might not have a strong potential for intercultural misunderstanding. That is, on the whole, the British

and Americans do not differ in whether they prefer direct or indirect strategies for suggestions. Still, there are some differences in how the indirect

strategies are phrased, with the British modifying their requests more (using 'upgraders' and 'downtoners') and Americans relying more on the 'head'

of the suggestion--the unadorned sentence and its verb phrase in particular.

One difference was in the modal verbs used in suggestions. British

speakers use more modals of obligation (should, shall), while Americans

tend toward(s) can, but Americans also use more Why don't you...?

(Note: the fact that you say either is not counterevidence to this! Both cultures use all these strategies--but at different rates in the corpora.) 46

 

The British-preferred modals of obligation are considered by some

linguists to be more direct. That is, they're communicating the directive

meaning: 'I think you should do this'. Can on the other hand, is (arguably--

depending on how you like your modal verb analysis) ambiguous between

a weak obligatory meaning and a capability meaning: i.e. 'you are able to

do this and therefore you have the option to do it'.

Note: Why don't you... might be perceived as bossy. It has no modal

at all. It sounds like it's implying that the other person should have already

thought of doing the suggested thing.

The British indirectness tends to come from the use of modifiers,

such as with understaters like a bit, to begin with, for the moment and

downgraders like just, perhaps, at least, maybe, probably. With these

markers missing, no wonder British people find the foreigners bossy.

Americans are more likely to expect negotiation to follow suggestions, whereas the British are more likely to expect compliance.

Could is supposed to be more natural in suggestions than can, and

it's a bit more indirect.

In case you want to know somebody better, the normal thing to do in

English is to suggest doing something together. But the British don’t say it

directly: they don’t, for example, say “Would you like to go to the cinema

this evening?” without some preparation. A general question may be used

as a form of such preparation: “Are you doing something special this

evening?” “Are you going to do anything special?” “Will you be busy

on Saturday?”

The normal ways of replying to the questions like these are:

1. I don’t really know what I’m going to do. I haven’t really thought

about it.

2. Well, well … I … (then you should give an excuse, but the British understand that you mean “I don’t want to come” because of the kind of excuse you give. In English a good excuse always involves someone else –

either explicitly: “I’m afraid I’ve promised to drop in and see John this

evening,” or implicitly: “ I’m afraid, I’ve got a lot of work to do before

Monday” 47

 

3. You show the other person you would like to get to know them better

but you have a good reason that you can’t accept the particular suggestion

he has made.

In order to make suggestions you can use the following phrases:

“Let’s have a snack?” “Why don’t we go to a concert?” “Shall we listen

to a new song?” “Why not see a new film?” “How does the idea of arranging a party appeal to you?” All the above expressions are considered

to be informal.

A tentative way of making a suggestion can be like this: “I suggest/suppose we/they/you might/could discuss it later.”

If you ask for a suggestion politely you can say like that: “What

would you like to do/say?” “What do you suggest we should do/write?”

“Is there anything in particular you would like to do?” But if you speak

to your friend you can do it more directly: “What do you fancy doing?”

To express an alternative suggestion in a formal way, you may use

one of the following phrases: “ Wouldn’t you rather stay at home?”

“Wouldn’t it be better if you didn’t go outside.” “Might I suggest that

we go to another restaurant for a change?”

If you want to agree to a suggestion formally, you can do it in the

following way: “That’s a good idea.” “That sounds like a good idea.”

“That’s certainly a possibility/not a bad idea.” If you tend to be informal, then you can reply: “Yes, great/fine!”

If you want to disagree with a suggestion the following formal

phrases will be suitable: “That’s a good idea but I’d rather not. I’ve got

a terrible headache.” “That’s not a bad idea but I’m afraid I haven’t got

a minute to spare.”

The informal expressions are: “I don’t think I can/could/would

stay here for two days.” “I’d rather not discuss this matter at the moment.” 48

 

DIALOGUES

Note the expressions used in the dialogue and the progression of the conversation. The dialogue can be used as a model to have similar conversations.

1. Robbie: It’s time since we’ve eaten. I’m quite hungry, what about you?

Gayle: I’m a bit peckish, too, but it’s quite late and we don’t anything

too heavy before we go to bed.

Robbie: What do you suggest?

Gayle: Well, a little light supper wouldn’t do us any harm!

Robbie: Such as?

Gayle: I could make a cheese and potato salad.

Robbie: That’ll do nicely.

2. Donald: Let’s eat out, shall we?

Debra: I’m broke. I’ve gone through my paycheck for the week already.

Donald: Don’t worry about it. It’s my treat.

Debra: Are you sure? You’re so generous!

Donald: And nice, too.

Debra: So, where are you taking me?

Donald: Some place you’ve never been before. Donald’s Kitchen.

3. Kato: How about having dinner together?

Mori: Fine.

Kato: Shall we have Japanese or American food?

Mori: Whatever you say!

Kato: There is a good steak house around the corner.

Mori: That’s a good idea. 49

 

4. Mary: What a beautiful place! Just like in a fairy tale – nice and quiet,

with the grass so green. Oh, look, there’s a stream running under those

big trees. Why not stop here for a short rest?

Nick: OK. Some of us need a rest. Nina looks very tired. She’s been

lagging behind us for the last kilometer or so. I think this place will do

well.

John: I don’t know how it is with you, but I’m as hungry as a hunter.

Tom: I suggest we might have a bite and then go sunbathing.

Nick: I don’t mind taking something hot inside. I’ve been having

stomach-ache for an hour or so. Who’ll make the fire?

John: I’ll make the fire. I can do it with one match. It won’t be difficult

with all the dry sticks lying around.

Mary: Who’s got the kettle? I’ll run down to the stream and bring some

water.

5. Wayne: Why don’t we eat out?

Lilia: I’m going to fix some pork chops.

Wayne: Not when you are hungry.

Lilia: Again? Weren’t you just complaining that it’s too expensive to eat

out?

Wayne: I’m afraid the meat is rotten.

Lilia: That’s strange! I just bought it yesterday.

Wayne: Well, I forgot to put it in the refrigerator.

Lilia: Good for you! Now what should we eat?

6. Donald: Some place you’ve never been before. Donald’s Kitchen.

Debra: You are sure? You are so generous! 50

 

Donald: And nice, too.

Debra: I’m broke. I’ve gone through my paycheck for the week already.

Donald: Let’s eat out, shall we?

Debra: So, where are you taking me?

Donald: Don’t worry about that. It’s my treat.

 

EXERCISES

I. Read the conversation and answer the questions given below.

Mrs. Crag: Would you like some tea?

Mrs. Brown: I’d rather have coffee, if it’s no trouble.

Mrs. Crag: Would you like it with milk and sugar?

Mrs. Brown: Well, I’d rather have it black, if you don’t mind.

Mrs. Crag: Not at all. How much sugar would you like?

Mrs. Brown: I don’t take sugar, thank you.

 

Questions:

1. What terms are Mrs. Crag and Mrs. Brown on? 2. Do they speak formal

or informal English? 3. What language does Mrs. Brown use to make alternative suggestions? 4. Do you think Mrs. Brown polite? If so, what language shows she is? 5. What other language might Mrs. Brown have used

with the same meaning in the same situation?

 

II. Read the conversation and answer the questions given below.

Peter: Excuse me for asking, are you doing anything special at the week-

end?

Mary: Well, I don’t really know what I’m going to do. As a matter of fact,

I haven’t really thought about it. 51

 

Peter: Would you like to play tennis with us on Saturday?

Mary: Yes, I would. What a good idea!

Peter: Would you like to play singles or doubles?

Mary: Let’s play singles and then the best boy can play the best girl.

Would you like that?

Peter: Yes, we would. Let’s do that.

 

Questions:

1. Are the speakers on equal terms? 2. What language shows that they

know each other well? 3. Why do you think Peter didn’t make his suggestion directly? 4. What other language might he have used with the

same meaning? 5. How might Mary have answered him instead of saying: “Well, I don’t really know …”?

III. Read the conversation and answer the questions given below.

Mary: Let’s have a party.

John: What a good idea! When shall we have it?

Mary: What about Saturday evening?

John: Fine and where shall we have it?

Mary: In your flat.

John: Oh, you know what my roommate’s like. He won’t let us have a

party there. Let’s ask someone else.

 

Questions:

1. Are the speakers on equal terms? 2. Do the speakers use formal or informal language? 3. What language does John use to turn down Mary’s

suggestion? 4. How does this refusal sound? 5. What language do you

think Mary should have used if she had spoken to a man she doesn’t know

very well? 52

 

IV. React to the following suggestions:

1. Let’s drop in and see our friends tonight. 2. Why don’t we go to the theatre tonight? 3. Wouldn’t you rather stay at home? 4. Why not go for a

walk? 5. Might I suggest that we go to another restaurant for a change?

6. Wouldn’t it be better if you didn’t go outside; it’s raining cats and dogs.

 

V. Fill in the missing words:

1. … we listen to a new disk? 2. Are you doing something … this evening? 3. Is there anything in … you would like to do? 4. What do you suggest we … do? 5. That’s a good idea but I’d … not. 6. How does the idea

of going somewhere on Sunday … to you. 7. Why … we eat out tonight.

8. Would you … to play volley-ball?

VI. Make short conversations in the following situations:

1. You want to go to a ballet. But your friend makes an alternative suggestion. She/he prefers the idea of seeing a play. You try to speak persuasively

and your friend agrees to your suggestion.

2. After a long day at the University you and your friend decided to go for

a meal at a café. Your friend shows indecision. Make your suggestion attractive.

3. You are going away for the weekend with a close friend. Call him/her to

make suggestions about your weekend: where to go, how to get there, how

long to stay, what to do, etc. Your friend is happy to spend the weekend

with you. He/she agrees to all your suggestions enthusiastically.

4. A friend of yours is in the hospital. You visit him/her and see he/she is

bored. Suggest something to occupy him/her.

5. Your friend has failed her/his exam and is looking rather depressed.

Give her/him your suggestions.

 

UNIT 7

How to give people advice

 

“The only thing to do with good advice is pass

it on. It is never any use to anyone”

Oscar Wilde

 

Read the text and do exercises given below.

First of all, make sure that the person who is talking to you is actually soliciting advice. He or she may just want you to listen and be a good

friend, seeking instead understanding, empathy, and compassion. Don’t assume that everyone wants advice. You may have some insight into the

problem(s), but you really need to listen attentively to a person first for a

very long time to understand the situation if, and only if, your friend actually asks for advice should you then furnish it.

It is a great honor to be asked for advice, but it is also a big responsibility. Good advice can help people make sound decisions and find the

right path in life, while bad advice can have disastrous consequences. Fortunately, with a little forethought you can weed out the good from the bad.

There are some rules which the British follow in giving advice. The

first: always listen carefully to the person who wants advice, and learn as

much as possible about this situation. If you need clarification, ask questions. Being an active listener will not only help you give good advice, it

will also increase the chances that the person will take your advice. The

second: put yourself in the advisee’s shoes, i.e. try to imagine yourself in

the other person’s situation. If you’ve been in a similar situation, think

about what you learned, but don’t rely solely on your experiences to give

advice for the unique circumstances that the other person is facing. The

third: think about the consequences of taking or not taking your advice. If

there’s no significant difference between the results of those two scenarios,

your advice might not be bad, but it’s not useful either. If you can envision

the path you suggest leading to a worse result than an alternative path

would, your advice probably is bad. The fourth: empathize. Many matters

require sensitivity and thoughtfulness. If you really try to put yourself in 54

 

the other person’s shoes (as suggested above) empathy will probably develop naturally. Even so, be very careful about how you word your advice

and be sensitive to the other person’s feelings and emotional state.

If the British give advice they do it in an apologetic and polite manner. The

degree of politeness depends on the situation they are in. When people discuss something or argue they are usually formal and polite. If the know

each other very well they are often informal and less polite.

When giving advice, it is important to avoid forms such as “You

must …”. The advice “I’d recommend you to work less” is more formal

and it is generally not used among friends.

In formal situations the British would say: “Personally, I would advise you to … “. “Perhaps it would be a good idea to go out.” “If I

were you I would not leave car doors unlocked.” “I think you’d better

not go to this party.” “I advise you to study for a degree in foreign languages.” “You may not agree with me, but it might be a good idea if

you do it beforehand.”

In the informal situation the British people would say: “You ought

to help him.” “I suggest/I think you should go to bed earlier.” “If I were

you I’d call her back.” “Why don’t you accept this invitation?” “Don’t

forget to shut the window”.

If you need some advice, you can use the following forms: “What do

you suggest I should do?” “Where/When do you suggest I should

go/have a holiday, etc.?” “Could you give me some advice about

sports/learning foreign languages, etc.?” “I was wondering if you could

(possibly) give me some advice about...?” (formal)

If you are in friendly relations with somebody, you can ask for an

advice in such a way: “What would you do in my position/if you were

me?”

If you want to accept advice, you can use the following phrases:

“That sounds/seems like a good idea/advice, thank you.”(possible in all

situations) “Well, that’s certainly a possibility.”(slightly tentative)

“Right/Yes, I’ll do/try that. Thanks.” “That’s a good idea, thanks. Yes,

I think I’ll try that.” (direct, informal). One of the variants of rejecting

advice is: “That’s not a good idea, I’m afraid. I’ve already tried that.” 55

 

DIALOGUES

 

Note the expressions used in the dialogue and the progression of the conversation. The dialogue can be used as a model to have similar conversations.

1. Jim: Is your restaurant licensed to serve hard drinks?

Waiter: Certainly, sir. And we have a wide choice of them too. At present

there isn’t a better restaurant than this one.

Jim: Very well. I’d like to have dinner. What would you recommend for

the first course?

Waiter: I think there is nothing like chicken soup which is, incidentally,

our cook’s favorite job.

Jim: Indeed? And choosing a grill, what will you suggest?

Waiter: Oh, sir: if you order roasted mutton, you make a fine meal. And

what about the sweet, sir?

Jim: I’ll go without it. Just a glass of orange juice, and that’s all.

Waiter: Well … you asked me about strong drinks. What will you have,

sir?

Jim: Nothing whatever. It was a mere curiosity

 

2. Danny: I’m thinking of applying for a manager’s job.

Victor: Well, you’ve got plenty of experience, so you should have a good

chance.

Danny: I’m going to work on my resume tonight after work.

Victor: I’d wait until you get the job description if I were you.

Danny: Why do you say that?

Victor: Well, then you’ll be able to tailor your resume to fit the job.

 

3. Ann: Is there anything I can do? I’d like to help in some way.

Kate: I can’t think of anything at the moment.

Ann: Well, maybe I could run errands or something.

Kate: You could if I needed something. 56

 

Ann: I feel so useless just hanging around with nothing to do.

Kate: In a couple of days there’ll be too much to do. Then you’ll want to

be back in these lazy days.

Ann: I guess I’m just a workaholic. I never was very good at doing nothing.

Kate: Maybe you should learn how to relax.

 

4. Earnest: I would really like to study computing, but I can’t afford the

time or money for a course.

Gayle: I suppose you’re talking about a full-time course, but that’s not the

only option you know.

Earnest: Well what else could I do?

Gayle: You could do it by distance learning. My brother’s just completed a

distance learning course in HR management.

Earnest: Was he satisfied with it? Was it any good?

Gayle: Yes, he was, although he said it was tough to come home tired after

a day’s work and then to do two or three hours of study before going to

bed.

 

5. Terri: Derrick, don’t you think you should take a vocation? Even one or

two days would be fine.

Derrick: There’s no way. There’s too much work.

Terri: But you look so exhausted. You need a break.

Derrick: I know. My chances would be better if they would hire more people.

Terri: They won’t hire more people.

Derrick: No. They always want to keep the cost down. I am really overwhelmed with a heavy workload.

Terri: Maybe you should talk to the manager.

Derrick: Yes. I’m going to bring this up in tomorrow’s meeting.

 

6. Terri: How are things going with you and your roommate?

John: Not very well. We are supposed to share the groceries, but I end up

feeding him three times a day. My grocery bill is huge, you know. I really

can’t afford it any longer. 57

 

Terri: I know how you feel. I used to have a roommate like that. He never

offered to reimburse me for anything.

John: I’m really fed up with this, but I just don’t know how to tell him that

he should come up with half the grocery bill, because sometimes he treats

me to a meal in a restaurant.

Terri: Well, honesty is the best policy. May be you just should have a

heart- to- heart, friend-to-friend talk with him. If he refuses to mend his

ways, then ask to move out. You can’t let him wear out his welcome.

 

7. Tina: I wouldn’t mention that to Gloria if I were you.

Vaughan: Why not? She seems a very amiable person.

Tina: No doubt she is, but she’s not the most discreet person in the world.

Vaughan: Aren’t you being a bit unfair?

Tina: No, not at all. I know from experience that she‘s a real tattletale.

Vaughan: Well, if that’s the case, I’ll take your advice.

 

8. A: May help you with some apple-pie?

B: Quite a small piece, please. It looks very appetizing.

A: I’d advise you to leave some place for the pudding. It’s always delicious

with them here.

B: But I thought there would be nothing coming yet. And I could hardly

manage it. Can we cancel the order?

 

EXERCISES

I. Read the conversation and answer the questions given below.

Peter: You look a bit worried, Brian. Is anything wrong?

Brian: No, not really.

Peter: Are you sure? You don’t seem yourself today somehow.

Brian: Well … I’ve got to find a new flat somewhere. They are going to

pull down the building where I’m living at the moment.

Peter: Well, is that such a problem?

Brian: Yes, it is, when you’ve only got a week to do it in.

Peter: A week? That seems like rather short notice. 58

 

Brian: Oh, I’ve known about it for ages, but I haven’t done anything about

it until now.

Peter: Oh, I see. Well, Brian, if I were you I’d start looking through the

papers straight away.

Brian: I have … every day for the last week.

Peter: Hmm. I see your problem. Perhaps it would be a good idea to put an

advert in the paper – you know – saying you are looking for a flat.

Brian: Yes, that sounds like a good idea, thanks. But I suppose, it all takes

time, doesn’t it?

Peter: Hey! Wait a minute! And why don’t you ask your cousin, he’s an

estate agent. I think you should go round and see him after work.

Brian: Well, that sounds like a marvelous idea, I must say. I clean forgot

about him.

Peter: If I were you I’d go round right away.

Brian: That’s certainly a possibility. I think I’ll try that.

Peter: OK. Best of luck to you. Bye.

Brian: Bye. See you tomorrow, Pete.

 

Questions:

1. What terms are the speakers on? 2. Is Brian’s problem really serious?

Give your reasons. 3. What advice does Peter give Brian? 4. Is Peter polite

to Brian? If so, what language shows he is? 5. Which piece of Peter’s advice does Brian take? 6. What advice would you have given if you were

Peter?

II. Give advice to the people. Begin with: “You/He/She’d better ….”

Example: A: They say it’s getting cold outside.

B: You’d better put your warm coat on.

 

1. I’m homesick. 2. My pen’s broken. 3. I’m a bit depressed after the exams. 4. My mother comes home very tired. 5. I’m going on holiday next

week. 6. A friend of mine finds a very difficult language. 7. I’m beginning

to put on weight. 8. I’ll have to get down to some serious work again pretty

soon. 9. My brother never stops swatting. 10. I can’t help worrying about

my mother. She’s not well. 59

 

III. Make the following into mini-dialogues about advice. Your friend is

going for an interview.

Example: A. what to do, sleep at nights? B. Why not, take a walk, every

evening.

A: What should I do to sleep at nights?

B: Why don’t you take a walk every evening?

1. A. can, dive, some advice, what to wear? B. well, suggest, wear a suit.

2. A. what, you, say, if, ask, advice? B. well, personally, advise, to be careful. 3. A. I, wondering, give, me, advice, what to wear? B. well, be, good,

idea, wore, a suit. 4. What, wear, you, me? B. well, the best thing, wear, a

suit. 5. what, say, you, in my position? B. well, I, you, wouldn’t, talk

about, your last job.

 

IV. In the following situations restrain people from doing these things.

1. Your friend tells you she is planning to invite two other people to join

you for the evening, but you are not very keen on the idea. 2. Your friend

loves eating cream cakes, and she is putting on weight. 3. Your friend

keeps asking you to lend him money, and you want him to stop doing it.

4. Your friend wants to change the television program from movie to sport

and you don’t want him to. 5. You are trying to write a report, and your

friend interrupts you every few minutes. 6. Someone is writing notes in a

book borrowed from the library.

 

V. Accept or reject advice in the following situations:

1. Your friend advises you to talk to your mother about your financial

problems. You agree. 2. Your teacher advises you to go to the lecture tonight. You cannot. 3. After an argument your friend advises you to try to

control your temper. You accept the advice. 4. Your boyfriend has invited

you to make a trip with him. You cannot make a decision and ask your

mother for advice. 5. You’ve got the problem of taking the exam in phraseology. Your friend gives you two pieces of advice. You accept one of

them and reject the other one. 60

 

VI. Fill in the missing words.

1. I … recommend you to spend more time outdoors. 2. If I … you I would

never behave like that. 3. I suggest you … do your best to complete your

project in time. 4. You … better … this work in advance. 5. … you give

me some advice … travelling by air. 6. Why … you accept the invitation to

the party? 7. I was wondering if you … give me an advice? 8. That’s not a

good idea, ….