How do English-speaking people get attention, clarify topics, avoid topics and interrupt? Give examples.

Get attention:

A critical psychological element of exerting influence is first gaining the audience’s attention. The factors listed below describe the things to which people tend to give attention. You can use these elements in your introduction to gain attention and throughout your message to hold attention.

The following stimuli gain attention:

1. Activity.

2. Reality.     

3. Proximity.

4. Familiarity.          

5. Novelty.   

6. Suspense.

7. Conflict.

8. Humor.     

9. The vital.

 In addition to the factors above, use the following to hold attention:

1. Diversity. 

2. Utility.      

3. Similarity.

4. Cueing.     

Clarify topic:

Clarifying Questions are simple questions of fact. They clarify the dilemma and provide the nuts and bolts so that the participants can ask good probing questions and provide useful feedback later in the protocol. Clarifying questions are for the participants, and should not go beyond the boundaries of the presenter’s dilemma. They have brief, factual answers, and don’t provide any new “food for thought” for the presenter. The litmus test for a clarifying question is: Does the presenter have to think before she answers? If so, it’s almost certainly a probing question.

Some examples of clarifying questions:

 How much time does the project take?

 How were the students grouped?

 What resources did the students have available for this project?

Probing Questions are intended to help the presenter think more deeply about the issue at hand. If a probing question doesn’t have that effect, it is either a clarifying question or a recommendation with an upward inflection at the end. If you find yourself saying “Don’t you think you should …?” you’ve gone beyond probing questions. The presenter often doesn’t have a ready answer to a genuine probing question.

Avoid topic:

As women, we have all noticed how quickly a man can become turned off, but sometimes we fail to understand why he just went cold. Well ladies, did you know that there are particular topics that can really upset the man that you are dating? If you are newly dating or especially if you are going on your first date, there are a few topics that you should absolutely avoid. In this article, we will go over the three topics that will turn men off.

 First of all, past relationships are the most apparent topic to keep away from, for it is well known that men absolutely detest hearing stories about exes. It will cause him to feel incredibly jealous, so you may want go easy on your ex-partner. Although the ex- partner may be well deserving of your verbal lashings as he probably really did break your heart, there is really no need to tell your new man these tales of tragedy.

 Secondly, Marriage is the second of the three topics that will turn men off. Most men become turned off by talk about marriage because it represents a huge commitment. To them commitment means that they will have to throw in the towel on their bachelor lifestyle, lose their freedom and possibly themselves for the relationship. However, this does not mean that he will not commit to you; he just wants to get to know you a little bit better before deciding to take such a huge step. So chose the right time to discuss this issue very carefully, or better yet, wait for him to bring it up. Sometimes men feel more at ease with this topic if they are the ones who initiate it.

 Finally, the third of the three topics that will turn men off is money. It's very rude to discuss money with the new person that you are dating because he will think that you only want him for that reason. It will also embarrass him if he feels that he doesn't earn enough or as much money as you do, especially in the beginning of a relationship. Just don't do it!

Interrupt:

Sometimes you do not want to be interrupted, perhaps because you have something important to say or perhaps because the other person has kept interrupting you for little good reason beforehand.

 

Remember also that interruptions may be to seek or give useful information and that they are a normal part of conversation, and not a slight to your character. Be cautious, then, in how often and when you power through the interruptions of others.

Don't send signals

When you are talking, you may be sending non-verbal signals that invite the other person to interrupt. Beyond pauses, these include:

Raising eyebrows

Open body language

Relaxed body language

Submissive body language

Your speech getting slower

Your speech getting quieter

If you can control your body language and speech, then you may offer less invitations. You probably cannot remove all signals, but if you are thinking 'no signals' then this will help too.

Ignore signals

When they send signals that they want to interrupt, simply ignore them. Carry on regardless, perhaps even doing such as increasing your speed or volume to signal back that you are not ready to be interrupted. This can be done in varying levels of politeness, from assertively saying 'can I finish' without pause in the continuous stream of words, to asking the other person nicely and waiting for permission.

...and when we reach – can I finish – the end of the year...

 - Sorry, Mike, I won't be long –  

 - Jen, you've made your point, now it's my turn –

 - I'm sorry. I do want to hear your viewpoint. Is it ok if I finish the explanation first? – thanks –  

Good example of it, when English-speaking people say “Excuse me ”, not as an apology to the people, as a means of get attention.

6. Give examples of apologies and excuses for serious occurrences as compared to minor ones:

 - apologizing to someone who knows the situation.

Michael Bridge apologize to his friend.

I am really sorry for being absence these few weeks. I know that I will be absence, and I don’t give notice of it to you. Some of our classmates told me that you were the one who spread the rumor about me cheating on our final exam. I was wrong for believing them rather than listening to you. I know you’ve been trying so hard to reach out to me but then I kept on pushing you away. I was mad. But when I realized that it wasn’t you after all, I felt very guilty. I know it will be hard for you to trust me again. And I understand if it will take a long time for you to forget the things that happened.

I promise to make it all up to you. I don’t want to lose a friend like you because you are one of the best that I have. And it was my biggest mistake to hurt you like that. I hope you can forgive me. Please tell me when you are ready to talk. I’d be more than willing to patch things up. I’ll be waiting for your reply.

- apologizing when admitting mistakes.

Mr. Henry apologizing to Ms. Molly Burke.

We would like to thank you for informing us about the error on your credit card. We would like to express our sincerest apology for the accidental duplication of the service charge on your account. There was an error in my accounting and I overlooked to recheck the transactions that were done last week. The accounting department is resolving this issue to make sure that this will never happen again.

We extend our gratitude for bringing this matter to our attention. This will help us in providing you better service in the future. We are looking forward to serving you again. Rest assured that this error will not happen again. To make up for this error, we are offering you a VIP privilege card which contains discounts for our premium products and services. Our aim is to regain your confidence and trust.

If you have any other concerns that you would like to address, please feel free to contact me at 333-883-0893. We are more than willing to help you with your concerns. Thank you very much and have a nice day.

- apologizing for changing future plan.

Ms. Jenna Watson apologizing to Ms. Janet Harry.

We would like to express our sincerest apology regarding the problems that you have been encountering with your internet plan connection.

We deeply apologize that your internet speed is slow these past few weeks. Our site is in the middle of construction due to the damage brought by last month’s storm. To compensate for this issue, we will not charge your bill for the next two months. We are doing the necessary steps on solving this problem. We hope that you understand as well. But we assure you that once the construction is over; your internet will be back to its normal speed.

It is our pleasure to serve you. And we are looking forward to serving you in the future. If you have any other concerns that you would like to address, please feel free to call me at 232-789-0907. We would be more than willing to serve you. Thank you very much and have a nice day.