Parents are too permissive with their children nowadays

Naturally, every parent is anxious to teach and bring up their children. All parents’ striving may face problems of various kinds. Much depends upon the way a parent chooses to realize their plan. Parents’ excessive obtrusiveness and permissiveness usually spurn children from them. It is significant that parents should find balance between what to permit and what not to. Children should be taught responsibility. But responsibility cannot be imposed on them. It must grow from within. Besides, children are to be given opportunities for choosing and deciding things for themselves. They must account for what they do.

The child’s happiness is all-important, the psychologists say, but what about the parents’ happiness? Parents suffer constantly from fear and guilt while their children gaily romp about pulling the place apart. The trouble is you are not allowed even to shout… Certainly a child needs love… and a lot of it. But the excessive permissiveness of modern parents is surely doing more harm than good.

Psychologists have succeeded in undermining parents’ confidence in their own authority and it hasn’t taken children long to get wind of the fact. In addition to the great modern classics on child care, there are countless articles in magazines and newspapers. With so much advice flying about, mum and dad just don’t know what to do any more. In the end, they do nothing at all. So, from early childhood, the kids are in charge and parents’ lives are regulated according to the needs of their off-spring. When the little dears develop into teenagers, they take complete control. Lax authority over the years makes adolescent rebellion against parents all the more violent. If the young people are going to have a party, for instance, parents are asked to leave the house. Their presence merely spoils the fun. What else can the poor parents do but obey?

Children are hardy creatures (far hardier than the psychologists could believe) and most of them survive the harmful influence of extreme permissiveness which is the normal condition in the modern household. But a great many do not. Mother, believing that little Johnny can look after himself, is not at home when he returns from school, so little Johnny roams the streets. The dividing line between permissiveness and sheer, negligence is very fine indeed.

The psychologists have much to answer. They should keep their mouths shut and let parents get on with the job.

 

1) Do you get on well with your parents? What do you like and dislike about your parents?

2) Do you know what is necessary to be a good parent? Is it easily to be parents?

3) What are good parents like, in your opinion?

4) What is the role of parents in bringing up children?

5) What are the reasons for arguments between parents and their children?

6) What advice would you give to your parents and what will you do to avoid arguments when you are parents yourselves?

 

Task 24. Complete “The Teenagers’ Manifesto” using one word (whoever, whatever, whenever, whichever). What do you think about it? Would you like to add anything to it?

The Teenagers’ Manifesto

1. Pocket money – we can spend pocket money on _____________ we like, including sweets, clothes, video games and other things that our parents consider to be a waste of money.

2. TV – we can watch ____________ we want on TV, ___________ we want, including late at night.

3. Clothes – we can wear ___________ we like, without fear of parental comments such as “You’re not going out looking like that”.

4. Friends - ____________ we choose to go out with, our parents have NO automatic rights to meet them.

5. Meals – we can eat __________ we want, including in our bedrooms, unless it’s a special family occasion (Christmas, birthday, etc.).

6. Privacy - ____________ we wish, we have the right to lock ourselves in our rooms, without fear of disturbance from nosy family members.

7. Noise / Music – we can listen to ____________ type of music we choose. If others are trying to work, we will turn down the volume.

8. Mess – we have the right to keep our room _____________ mess around we want, but we accept that mess around the house should be kept to a minimum.

9. Mobile phone use – we can talk to ____________ we wish, ___________ it’s necessary, and our parents will pay the bills.