A Feminist Classic from the Early '70s

By Judy Syfers

I belong to that classification of people known as wives-I am A Wife. And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother. Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is obviously looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I, too, would like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife? I would like to go back to school. And I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school, I want a wife to take care of the children. I want a wife to make sure my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children's clothes and keep them mended, who arranges for their schooling, takes them to the park, the zoo, et cetera. I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arranges to be around when the children need special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. Needless to say, my wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife's income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that.

I want a wife to take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be. I want a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife to plan the menus, do the necessary shopping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will care of me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school.

I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife's duties. But I want a wife who will listen to me when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point I have come across in my course of studies. And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have written them.

And I want a wife who knows that sometimes I need a night out by myself. But I want a wife who understands that my sexual needs may entail more than strict adherence to monogamy. I must, after all, be able to relate to people as fully as possible.

If I happen to find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, as I expect a fresh, new life, my wife will have to take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.

When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of a wife's duties.

My God, who wouldn't want a wife?

 

Ex. 511. Read the poem and learn it Comment on the Infinitives

What Is This Life?

What is this life if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare? No time to stand beneath the boughs And stare as long as sheep or cows; No time to see, when woods we pass, Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass; No time to see, in broad daylight, Streams full of stars, like skies at night; No time to turn at Beauty's glance, And watch her feet, how they can dance; No time to wait till her mouth can Enrich that smile her eyes began? A poor life is this if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare.

W. H. Davies

Ex. 512. Translate into English

1. Вот программа, которую нужно утвердить. 2. Это книга, которую нужно прочитать. 3. У него потряса ющая новость, которую он расскажет вам. 4. Поверь те, вам нечего бояться. 5. Мне о столь многом нужно подумать. 6. Нельзя терять время. Нужно принять решение. 7. Есть несколько факсов, на которые необ­ходимо ответить сейчас же. 8. Это — платье, которое любую женщину сделает красивой. 9. Дэвид не тот человек, который может осчастливить женщину. 10. У нас долгая жизнь, которой нужно наслаждаться.

11. Давай поищем место, где мы могли бы перекусить. 12. У него три сына, которых нужно вырастить. 13. Он первый угадал их намерения. 14. Почему это я все­гда все узнаю последним? 15. Он не тот человек, кото­рый может вас подвести. 16. Им предстоял долгий путь. 17. У них не было желания спорить. 18. Аме­лия чувствовала потребность высказаться. 19. Она сделала отчаянную попытку освободиться. 20. — Ты будешь выступать следующим? — Нет, я буду высту­пать последним.

 

Ex 513. A. Read and translate the sentences Comment on the form function of the Infinitives

1. To get daily updated news,to be in the know just slip through the net and you are on the Internet. 2. Aunt Louise whirled around to greet me. 3. We didn't tell him the whole truth not to discourage him. 4.1 ran back to my room to collect my belongings. 5. Tony's father died of pneumonia when he was nine. His mother, a seamstress, struggled to raise three children on her own. 6. Unable to make such a decision alone I asked my brother for help. 7. The clock buzzes to tell you when to get up. 8. Most Islanders have at least two jobs to earn enough to cope with the sky-high prices. 9. You don't have to be a genius to understand it. 10. When in Paris we went to a wonderful restaurant to enjoy an open-air meal. 11. To overcome the problems that face each one of us — and no life is problem-free — it is crucial to have a plan to live by. 12. He opened his mouth to say something, but then changed his mind. 13. They had come to attend the party. 14. So sensational was the news that the entire class jumped out of their seats to have a really good look. 15. He remained silent for a few moments to allow

her to compose herself. 16. If the state borrows heavily to rebuild the economy, the Central Bank will keep monetary policy tight. 17.1 popped into the snack bar to buy a soda.

B. Complete the following sentences.

1. This car is designed.... 2. The mayor cut the ribbon... 3. It took all her strength.... 4. The young man works hard.... 5. You don't have to be a genius... 6. She has only to say "yes".... 7. Keep your mouth shut.... 8. She spoke more slowly.... 9. She sipped her tea....

Ex. 514. Complete the sentences using to or for.

I.She opened the file... look for the necessary information. 2. She scanned the text... the needed data. 3. The family went to Paris... a short visit. 4. The Parkers went to Bath... visit the distant relatives. 5. Every evening she takes long walks... relax. 6. It's good to take long walks... relaxation. 7. I'm going to University... a good education. 8. I'm going to University... get knowledge. 9. My kids aren't going to school just... have fun. 10. Charlie has done it just... fun. 11.1 went to the store... some bread and cheese. 12. Mum has gone to the store... get some milk. 13.1 turned on the radio... listen to the news. 14.1 listened to the radio... news about the weather. 15. In this country we wear fur coats in the winter... keep us warm. 16.1 have put on this sheepskin coat... warmth. 17.1 had a long stroll... boom my appetite.