Why we're unhappy -- the expectation gap

subsistence [səb'sɪst(ə)n(t)s] жизнь, существование

contentдовольный, удовлетворённый

short-sighted [ˌʃɔːt'saɪtɪd] близорукий

shortage ['ʃɔːtɪʤ] недостаток; дефицит

macro ['mækrəu] большой, крупный macro data

exceed [ɪk'siːd, ek-] превышать

counterintuitive [ˌkauntə(r)ɪn'tjuːətɪv] нелогичный

undermine подрывать, разрушать

compellingзахватывающий, интригующий preconceived [ˌpriːkən'siːvd] предвзятый

persuasion [pə'sweɪʒ(ə)n] убеждение

irrevocably [ɪ'revəkəblɪ] безвозвратно

skew [skjuː] перекашивать, делать несимметричным

intertwine [ˌɪntə'twaɪn] переплетаться, сплетаться

delude [dɪ'luːd] / обманывать

relegate ['relɪgeɪt] переводить в низший разряд

1) We're wealthier than ever, but unhappier than ever. We're more prosperous, but more depressed. We're less satisfied. We have faster and faster transport, but we're faster and faster to complain about it.

2) The reason why we're unhappy, the most compelling reason - as shown by the data, as shown by research - relates to expectations. At a very basic, simple level, we're unhappy when our expectations of reality exceed our experiences of reality.

3) I'd like to think in terms of three different types of expectation gaps – 1) based on our imagination, 2) based on people around us, and 3) based on our past experiences.

4) The very decision-making process is the thing that actually undermines our happiness. It’s highly likely that that reality won't live up to our expectation. And that leads to disappointment.

5) We digitally enhance photos. And what this does is it makes us romanticize travel and makes us come up with fantastical ideas about places that reality simply can't live up to. What technology does is that it skews our vision, it distorts reality and makes the unreal seem real.

6) We're happiest when we go travelling and we stumble across things we didn't expect, when we discover things for ourselves, where we don't have preconceived [ˌpriːkən'siːvd] notions of different places.

7) Expectations and disappointments irrevocably [ɪ'revəkəblɪ] intertwined [ˌɪntə'twaɪn].

8) In terms of beauty, it's no wonder that self-esteem levels are so low. Advertisers learned long ago that if you can make people hate themselves, you can sell them things. Your gain is someone's pain; someone's pain is your gain.

9) Research has shown that we're actually happier when we're with worse looking people because we're perceived by others to be objectively better looking. So when your friend asks you to come to a bar or to a club with them, you know why.

10) We're unhappy when our past reality is better than our present reality. Another problem in our society is that we tend to tell children that they're special, that they're unique, that they're one-of-a-kind, that they're amazing. What this means is that we raise their expectations.

11) Our expectations are largely determined by what we consider to be normal. And what we consider to be normal is largely based on our imagination, based on people around us, and based on our past.

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1)  Can a man with that face, voice, stance, intelligence, confidence and humor tell us about expectations?

2) Why are we such bad predictors of our happiness?

3) Are expectations the source of unhappiness? How would you deal with that? 

4) Your gain is someone's pain. Is it true?

5) How should we bring up children?

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