Are you a first child, a middle child, the youngest, or an only child?

First-born children. If you are a first-born child, you are probably self-confident and a good leader – you came first, after all. You may also be bossy and even aggressive if you don’t get what you want. You are ambitious, and good at communicating, because you learned to speak from your parents, not from your brothers and sisters. On the other hand, you are the oldest and so you have to be the most responsible, and this can make you the kind of person who worries a lot.

 

Middle children are usually independent and competitive. You had to fight with your brothers and sisters to get what you wanted. You are also co-operative as you always had to negotiate with either your elder or your younger brothers and sisters. You are sociable, as you always had someone to play with. On the other hand, you may be jealous and insecure or moody if you felt that your parents preferred your elder brother or sister.

 

Youngest children are often very charming. You learned very quickly that you could get exactly what you want by being charming – and this can make you manipulative. You are usually affectionate and relaxed because when you arrived, your parents were more relaxed themselves. But you are often not very independent, as you always had so many people to help you. This makes it hard for you to take decisions. And you may be lazy, because your parents probably pushed you less and were less strict with you than with your elder brothers and sisters.

Only children are often quite selfish. You had the wonderful luxury of not having to share your parents’ attention with anybody else. In fact, you received so much attention as a child that you find it difficult to be interested in other people. On the other hand, you are usually organized and responsible, and quite imaginative. But you may find it difficult to communicate with others, and are very sensitive to criticism.

 

	first-born children	middle children	youngest children	only children
positive adjectives
negative adjectives
positive or negative adjectives

2.11. a) Read the passage and answer the questions that follow. Try to explain the meaning of the bold-faced words without consulting a dictionary. b) Answer the questions after the text.

China: The Changing Family Looking at the People’s Republic of China before 1949, when the Communist Party under Chairman Mao took control of the country, and today, we see vast changes in the family, especially in the cities. Traditionally the desirable family was a big extended one, the ideal family having five generations and as many as one hundred people under one roof. Although rich landowners, merchants, and government officials could afford to support such a large family, the common people lived in much smaller units in either a nuclear or limited extended pattern. Only men were expected to work outside the home, and the eldest male had complete authority over the household. Marriages were most often arranged by the parents. Today the family unit is a smaller one although there may often still be a grandparent present. The government’s attention to family planning, including the campaign launched in 1979 for the one-child family, has naturally reduced the size of the family. The Communist government encourages women to contribute politically, socially, and professionally, so women are no longer expected to stay at home. Indeed, almost all adults in China have a job. Relations between parents and children are more democratic than in the past, and children, especially in the cities, are more likely to marry the person of their choice, but probably after consulting their parents. Change is normal in any society, but these changes in the Chinese family are noteworthy for how quickly they have occurred since the revolution. Questions: 1. Why are the changes in the Chinese family amazing?2. What two time periods are compared?3. How has the size of the family changed?4. In what way has the role of women changed?5. How have parent-child relations changed?

2.12. Complete these sentences with an appropriate word or expression. Consult a dictionary if necessary.

1. Mr. and Mrs. Smith live at home with their two children. They are a typical

example of a modern __________ family.

a. extended b. nuclear c. compact

2. Mr. and Mrs. Popayan live at home with their aged parents, children and

grandchildren. They are a typical example of a traditional __________ family.

a. nuclear b. enlarged c. extended

2. Mrs. Jones lives on her own and has to look after her two children. There are a lot of ________ families like hers.

a. single-parent b. mother-only c. mono-parent

3. Some parents need to ______ their children more strictly.

a. bring down b. bring about c. bring up

4. When I was a child, I had a very turbulent _______________.

a. upbringing b. upraising c. uplifting

5. Mrs. Kelly is ________ and finds it difficult to look after her children on her own.

a. divorced b. divided c. diverged

6. Many men believe that _________ is the responsibility of women.

a. childhelp b. childcare c. childaid

7. _________ is a particularly difficult time of life for a child.

a. convalescence b. adolescence c. convergence

8. A person’s behaviour can sometimes be traced back to her/his ___________

a. creative years b. formulating years c. formative years

9. The country has seen a sharp drop in the ________ in the last few years.

a. birth rate b. baby rate c. born rate

10. She has five _______ who rely on her to look after them

a. dependants b. dependers c. dependents

11. _________ is on the rise, with over 20% of serious crimes being committed by children under the age of seventeen.

a. junior crime b. juvenile delinquency b. minor crime

2.13. Match sentence 1-12 with a second sentence A-L.

 

1. Mr. and Mrs. White are very authoritarian parents.

2. Mr. Bowlers is considered to be too lenient.

3. Mr. and Mrs. Harris lead separate lives.

4. Billy is a well-adjusted kid.

5. The Mannings are not very responsible parents.

6. My parents are separated.

7. Parents must look after their children, but they shouldn’t be very over-protective.

8. Professor Maynard has made a study of the cognitive processes of young children.

9. I’m afraid my youngest son is running wild.

10. She looks quite different from her siblings.

11. There are several different and distinct stages in development in a child’s life.

12. Tony was raised by a foster family when his own parents died.

 

A. They don’t look after their children very well.

B. He is fascinated by the way they learn new things.

C. He very rarely punishes his children.

D. I live with my mother and visit my father at weekends.

E. He never listens to a word I say, and is always playing truant from school.

F. Brothers and sisters usually bear some resemblance to one another.

G. Although they are married and live together, they rarely speak to each other.

H. They are very strict with their children.

I. Of all of these, the teenage years are the most difficult.

J. Children need the freedom to get out and experience the worlds around them.

K. He’s happy at home and is doing well at school.

L. Foster families take in children who are not their own.

 

2.14. Fill in the gaps with a suitable word. In some cases, more than one answer may be possible. You may need to change some of the word forms.

 

 

Bob’s problems began during his (1)_______years. His parents got (2) _________ when he was young, and neither of his parents wanted to raise him or his brother and sister, so he was (3) ___________ by a (4) ___________ chosen by his parents’ social worker. Unfortunately, his foster father was a strict (5) _________ and often beat him. Bob rebelled against this strict (6) ____________, and by the time he was eight, he was already (7) ______________, stealing from shops and playing truant. By the time he reached (8) ___________________, sometime around his thirteenth birthday, he had already appeared in court several times, charged with (9) ___________. The judge blamed his foster parents, explaining that children needed (10) ___________ parents and guardians who would look after them properly. The foster father objected to this, pointing out that Bob’s (11) _________ - his two brothers and sister – were (12) ____________ children who behaved at home and worked well at school.

This has raised some interesting questions about the modern family system. While it is true that parents should not be too (13) __________ with children by letting them do what they want when they want, or be too (14) _____________ by sheltering them from the realities of life, it is also true that they should not be too strict. It has also highlighted the disadvantages of the modern (15) ___________ family, in which the child has only its mother and father to rely on (or the (16) ___________ family, in which the mother or father has to struggle particularly hard to support their (17) ___________________). In fact, many believe that we should return to traditional family values and the (18) _______________ family: extensive research has shown that children from these families are generally better behaved and have a better chance of success in later life.

 

2.15. a) Read the texts and retell them, using the boldfaced expressions. b) Describe your family, using as many boldfaced expressions from the texts as possible.

 

 

Text 1 My family is very special. It is neither big nor small. We are six in all: my mommy, my daddy, my Auntie Lucy, my younger sister Ann, my pet Jack and me. Jack is a dog. It is very pretty and funny. I like to play with Jack all day long. But my Auntie Lucy thinks we are terribly noisy. Well, she is a bore. She always finds faults with Jack and teaches me manners. She is constantly complaining about two things: either about nasty weather or naughty girls and animals. Nothing can be done. We don't care and that's why she looks down on us. My sister Ann is 12. But she doesn't think I am very much older. She never obeys me and sometimes Ann gets out of hand completely. She is plump, short and very clumsy. But after all, that's her awkward age. She is very bossy and always is up to mischief. But she is my only sister. I try to supervise and help her. That seldom works. And we quarrel over trifles. My mommy thinks we fight like cat and dog. Well, we have our ups and downs. My dear mother is a hair-dresser. She has style and always looks chic. We get on well. She is very understanding and she is always ready to give me a hand when I am in trouble. As for me, I really don't know what to say. I am quite common, neither very smart nor very silly. I love cooking very much, but dishes slip out of my hands. People call us butterfingers. But mommy is so much supportive and doesn't mind broken dishes. We like cooking together. Now I am training to be a shop-assistant. That's very gripping and I am really enjoying every minute of my classes. I have a boy friend, a serious one. I am in love with him. But my daddy thinks we are too young to start a family and live separately. Well, we don't really mind. My father is a Math teacher. He is always very busy. Teachers always pay too much attention to their pupils and too little to their own families. But we all have our weak points. After all, we are all human beings. Still I love my family very much. It is very important now to have dear people around, to love them and to know they love you. Text 2 My family is not very large. There are only four people in it: my parents, my brother Nick and me. My parents are rather young. They never quarrel and always get on well. I think they match each other perfectly. My mommy is a manager. She is very bright, smart, well-educated, business-like and independent, a real lady. She looks young for her age. My mother is always quite trendy and very up-to-date. She speaks three foreign languages: English, French, and Spanish. She drives a car. She is a shining example for me. My father works as a real estate salesman. He's always as busy as a bee. He knows how to find a client and spends every evening glued to the phone. That's why we don't go out together often. He never takes us out to some fancy restaurant as other fathers do. We don't have picnics in the country with tasty barbecue and juicy sandwiches with hot steamy coffee. That's a pity. My brother Nick is a student of Economy. But he is not doing very well as he works by fits and starts. I really doubt he will make an experienced economist. You see he spends money like water. A real spendthrift. He is surely a social climber and likes to be in the centre of every group he is in. But I respect him. He is my elder brother and I am proud of him. He keeps my secrets and supports me if things go wrong and I am in trouble. All in all, I love my family very much. We are all awfully nice. I care about my family very much.

	2.16. Start making up a list of words and expressions from the texts and the dialogues that you can use when describing somebody’s appearance or character. You will continue this list when you work on Unit 3.
	2.17. a) Look at the words and expressions in the box and put them into two columns – those having positive connotations (synonymous to “to like”) and the ones with negative connotations (synonymous to “to dislike”). Consult a dictionary if necessary. b) Use each word or expression to describe your personal likings and dislikings.

loathe ¤ yearn for ¤ be passionate about ¤ be fond of ¤ fancy be captivated by ¤ be keen on ¤ look forward to ¤ dread ¤ long for appeal for ¤ detest ¤ cannot stand ¤ repel ¤ be attracted to be fascinated by ¤ be tempted by ¤ disgust ¤ revolt ¤ cannot bear

ACQUIRING COMMUNICATION SKILLS

	2.18. Draw your family tree and tell your partner who the people you have put on it are.
	2.19. Read the dialogues and act them out with a partner. Make up one big dialogue using as many boldfaced expressions as possible.

A: How old are you?

B: I am 20.A: Do you have a brother or a sister/ any siblings?B: Yes, I do. Look over there. Do you see a blonde in red?A: Do you mean that pretty girl is your sister?B: Yes, I do. No wonder, you are so surprised. We differ like cheese and chalk in looks and temper. * * * * * *A: Do you have a brother, Ann?B: Yes, I do. And why?A: I know a guy. He looks like you. The very picture. Very amusing.B: Really? What does he look like?A: Well, rather tall, broad-shouldered, dark-haired, handsome. What else? Right sort of age. B: What do you mean?A: Oh, to be honest I fell for him. My type.B: Still, I don't know whom you are talking about. Anything special about him? A: Hey, look, over there. That's him.B: That skinny guy talking to Jane? Jesus Christ!A: What's wrong? Do you know him? Isn't he sweet?B: Yes, he is. Actually that's Michael, my boy-friend. We go out together.A: Whoops...I see. Well, lucky you are.B: Hi, Michael. Let me introduce Kate to you.A: Hi, Michael. Great to meet you. * * * * * *A: I hate Ann. She is so confident and pushy.B: Yes, but what is worse is she is very aggressive and arrogant.A: Yeah. I tried to talk to her at the party but got a cold response. B: Right. She is hard to deal with. A: Assertive lady. A very challenging gaze. She's always picking up quarrels with other people.B: No wonder, she is so naughty. She was the only child in the family and step by step she got out of hand completely.A: A very nasty person, always finding faults with other people.B: And putting them to pieces. A gossip. C: Hi, girls. How’s it going? Who are you talking about? Who is a gossip?A: Oh, Ann... Mmm. That's awfully nice to see you. What a nice hat you are wearing today. I am just telling Helen that you have style. So trendy. Nice haircut, too.C: Do you really like it?B: Cool.C: Thanks. You are charming too. Do you care for a drink?A: With pleasure, sweet darling. C: Come on, girls. Let's have fun. * * * * * *A: How do you find Kate's brother? What is he like?B: Smart and bright. Very witty. Sharp-tongued. Really my type.A: And what does he look like?B: About 25. He's tall, attractive. Good looks. Intelligent.A: Do you like him?B: Yes. We usually have fun together. We seldom quarrel and get on well.A: Do you go out with him?B: No. We are just great friends. He's Kate's brother and I'm her friend. * * * * * *A: Is your family large?B: Rather. Do you know that my parents have 3 more children. Have a look at that red-haired boy over there.A: That naughty boy? Messy and untidy?B: Exactly. That’s my younger brother, Nick.A: I see. But he's handsome. Really very nice and friendly.B: Nice and friendly? Never. He is a real trouble-maker. Always up to mischief.A: You are joking. Though... Look. I'm afraid he is going to get in a fight.B: He always does. So bossy and aggressive.A: Do you often quarrel with him?B: We fight like cat and dog.A: Oh, you poor thing. * * * * * *A: Do you know my mother?B: No, once you promised to introduce me to her, but you never keep your word. That's you all over. A: I’m sorry. But do you see a tall woman over there?B: I do. Do you mean to say that’s your mother? But she looks more like your sister. So young.A: She does. She looks young for her age.B: Fantastic. I envy her. She’s got the looks. So long-legged and slim. Quite gorgeous. Beautiful eyes and a kind smile. Looks like she has a sense of humour but trying to look serious.A: She does a lot to keep fit. Shaping and dancing, you know.B: But it’s worthwhile. She is stunning. A real lady.

1. Your brother is a frank and honest boy. He always says what's on his mind.2. Your group mate Peter is hard to deal with.3. Nelly is very reliable.4. Gus looks a bit tired, weary and depressed.5. Nick has a way with people. He is easy to deal with.6. Katy is the very picture of her mother. Actually, she is the very image of her.7. Kelly is good to look at: expressive eyes, a broad grin, nice-shaped lips. She is very trendy and chic.8. Tom never keeps his word.9. Your friend is nice and sweet. But he is not handsome.10. These two brothers are so very much alike. You can not tell one from the other. 11. That chap is a bore. He's a bookworm. 12. My sister looks genuinely happy, joyful, and spontaneous.13. My friend is always so pale, listless and depressed.14. She is bright, but lazy and messy. She isn't doing well.15. They are a perfect match. They never quarrel and are madly in love with each other.

Model: What does your brother look like? - Jimmy is a tall, thin, young man in his twenties. He is dark-haired, hazel-eyed and dark-skinned.

1. Do you like the way she wears her hair?2. What sort of man is your teacher?3. What kind of people do you like to deal with?4. What kind of people do you like to travel with?5. What kind of people do you like to work with?6. What kind of people do you prefer to have a good time and to relax?7. What does you sister/brother look like? Are you alike?8. Why does John always complain about his life?9. Do you approve of Richard’s way of behaviour?10. How do you find my room-mate?11. Who is your sister/brother like? 12. Who does your brother/sister look like? 13. What is your boyfriend/girlfriend like? Interviewer: What made you unhappy with conventional family life?Mary: Well, my parents got divorced when I was in my teens, so I didn’t have a very happy childhood. They always seemed to be fighting over money and trying to force each other to do things all the time. If one of them wanted a holiday, then there was no peace at home until we had a holiday, even if we couldn’t really afford one. Eventually they just went their own ways.Interviewer: So you went into a commune?Mary: Yes, here things are completely different. No one has to worry about anyone else. You can come and go as you please. You don’t feel any pressure on you to do things. You do things for each other because you want to, not because you have to. We share everything.Interviewer: Everything?Mary: Yes. No one has his or her own belongings. If I like the skirt one of my friends is wearing, then I can wear it the next day. We all wear each other’s clothes, and the food is shared by everyone. We all take it in turns to do the cleaning and the washing up, and to look after the children.Interviewer: Why don’t the parents look after the children themselves?Mary: Children are the responsibility of the commune as a whole. They are too important to be left to individual parents to look after. That’s why so many people have problems nowadays. Look at my parents for instance! Mark and Ellen are married. Michael is 30 years old. He works full-time. Ellen is 31 and works part-time. They have a three-year-old son named Sam. Michael wants to have another child. Ellen isn’t sure. They live in a small apartment in a big city. They pay a lot of money for rent. Prepare: Group 1: You are Michael. Make a list of reasons why you may want to have another child. Group 2: You are Ellen. Make a list of reasons why you may not want to have another child. Role-play: Work with a partner from the other group. Role-play a conversation between Michael and Ellen. Use the reasons on your lists. Try to make a decision about having another child. Discuss: Share your decisions with the class. How many pairs decided to have another child? How many decided not to? “May I ask you some questions about your family?” or “Do you mind if I ask you some questions about your family?” Questions: 1. Do you have any brothers or sisters? If the answer is no … If the answer is yes … 2. Did you like being an only child 2. How many siblings do you have? What when you were younger? Do you are their names? like it now? Why or why not? 3. Are you the oldest, the youngest, or a 3. What’s the best thing about being middle child? an only child? What’s the worst thing? 4. When you were a child, did you like being the oldest? The youngest?4. Why did your parents decide to A middle child? Why or why not? have only one child? Do you know their reason? 5. What was the best thing about being the oldest? The youngest? A middle 5. Did you ever feel lonely as a child? child? What was the worst thing about it? 6. Who did you play with? 6. Did you have a good relationship with 7. (your decision) _______________ your siblings when you were children? How about now? 7. (your decision) __________________ 1. If you had a ten-year-old son/daughter, at what time would you expect him/her be in at night time?

2. If your son or daughter started smoking, would you try to dissuade (=make somebody decide not to do something) him or her at the age of 10? 15? 18?

3. Would you allow your teenage child to go on holiday alone with a friend of an opposite sex?

4. If you were having a glass of wine at home with a meal, at what age would you allow your child to have one?

5. Would you be upset if your son or daughter wanted to move out and live with a boyfriend or girlfriend without getting married, or would you simply regard it as “the modern thing to do”?

 

A. behaviour of children

B. head of the family

C. age of getting married