The Absurd Language Used by Job Adverts

Superheroes need not apply

 

There is an old Army joke about a sergeant who asks his soldiersif any of them are interested in music. When four hands go up, the sergeant says “Right, lads. You now carry this grand piano to the officers’ mess.”

Job recruitment has become more sophisticated since that story was first told. Today’s careers require a lot more than just muscle which sometimes makes jobs hard to define. The unfortunate result is a form of “adjective inflation” in recruitment ads as employers attempt to make routine tasks sound exciting.

Candidates must sometimes wonder whether they are applying for a nine-to-five role or to become part of the Marvel “Avengers” franchise. On Indeed, a recruitment website, a cocktail bar was recently looking for “bartenders who are client-focused, quality-driven, and have Superhero hospitality powers”. However, the ability to give customers the correct change was not mentioned.

Another British company advertised for “a call-centre Ninja, a superhero in people”, a job description which sounds a little over-the-top for what was in fact a role at an insurance broker in Isleworth. In case you think that advertisement was a misstatement, Indeed it featured jobs for “a black-belt prioritisation ninja”, and another demanding a “ninja-like attention to detail”. Short of turning up for the interview dressed head-to-toe in black, it is hard to see how candidates could demonstrate their ninja-ness.

Not all companies require candidates to possess the qualities of a Japanese warrior, of course. Some, in an echo of the 1960s slogan, “make love, not war”, require applicants to be passionate. A shopping mall in south-east England was looking for “passionate sales-driven brand ambassadors”, while “passionate crew members” were needed at a bakery in west London for a wage of just £8.23 ($10.32) an hour.

Of course, a Brit can be passionate about his wife or the fortunes of England’s sports teams, but when it comes to work, passion may not always be the most appropriate emotion. Would patients prefer a “passionate” surgeon or one renowned for keeping a cool head? As emotions go, pride in one’s seems important, as does a degree of empathy for colleagues, customers or patients, depending on what you do. In any case, passion is pretty hard to maintain consistently 40 hours a week, month after month.

In certain jobs, particularly in the caring professions, people’s devout belief in the social usefulness of their role persuades them to put up with long hours and low pay. But selling bread or shoes is not one of them. Instead of talking about passion, employers should rather be asking for enthusiasm. Workers may not learn to love their jobs, but with the right attitude, they can get enjoyment from the simple act of performing their task well. As well as keeping employees content, this ought to be enough for most bosses.

Another newish management mantra is “bring your whole self to work”. This slogan seems well intentioned. Workers should not have to suppress their personalities. They should not hide the fact that they have extra workload at home, like caring for small children or elderly relatives. But it is easy to see how the slogan can be turned into the idea that workers should give 100% commitment at all times. That is asking too much. It is great when people enjoy their work but the fact is a lot of people are doing their jobs to pay the bills, and dreaming of the few weeks in the year when they can take a holiday. They may have hobbies and interests outside work, but the word “outside” is key. Those are the moments when the company has no claim on its employees. Workers should be allowed to leave parts of themselves at home.

Job applicants should keep away from dubious advertisements that some companies place. Think of it as a first date. If the other person started talking of marriage and how many children you will have together, you might avoid seeing them a second time. So if a job advert talks about passion or superheroes, run away faster than a speeding Batmobile. Being a ninja should be reserved for teenage mutant turtles.

 

https://www.economist.com/business/2019/07/11/the-absurd-language-used-by-job-adverts

 

career(s)	карьера, работа, профессиональная деятельность
Job recruitment	найм персонала, прием на работу
advertise for	давать объявление о поиске (специалиста)
to feature jobs for	размещать (на видном месте) вакансии для
a nine-to-five role	работа с 9 до 5
client-focused	ориентированный на клиента
quality-driven   sales-driven	работающий качественно   ориентированный на повышение объема продаж
prioritisation	умение определять приоритеты
performance	(зд) успехи, результаты, производительность
to perform tasks well	справляться с поставленными задачами
extra workload	дополнительная нагрузка
to have a claim on smb	требовать что-либо от кого-либо