The reaction on the parental prohibition

The tears can be the reaction on the parental prohibition in the child. It is difficult for the baby to understand what “may” and “must not” mean. You have to help him figure it out. In this case, it is necessary to take into account the age-related features of the child’s psyche and the physiology.

At the age of one year, the baby is attracted to bright and catchy items. By screaming and crying, he can ask the subject of the interest. For example, the child saw a beautifully iridescent crystal glass, but you are afraid that he can break it and cut himself. In this case, you should switch the baby’s attention to a safer toy.

 

It is very often the parents love their child so much that they buy too many toys. But after a while, he gets bored with all them. And then the child aspires to something new and often to forbidden. To avoid that, do not give him all the toys at once, and change them from time to time.

 

At the age of one year, the baby’s teeth are cut. In this regard, he has a need to take each thing in his mouth. Make sure that the kid’s toys should not tiny, sharp or fragile.

 

One mother told such the story to me at the reception. She loved her daughter so much that every day she tried to surprise her. The little girl had a lot of the toys, but they were already boring her, and she did not pay any attention to them. And then the inventive mother wrapped some toys in the foil to make them more noticeable. Naturally, her daughter was very happy, but soon she discovered that the foil can be deployed. Immediately there was the desire to taste it. Accidentally, she choked on a small piece of the foil, and the mother had to call a doctor.

 

The cases of the poisoning of young children with the paints covering the toys have recently become more frequent. Therefore, when buying the toys, be sure to check whether the material is safe from which they [the toys] are made.

Closer to three years, the child has a need to get acquainted with the world around him. He aspires to become a full member of the family. He wants to participate in all household chores, to feel his importance.

But some parents, worried about the child, limit their freedom.

 

I know one family in which the world was clearly divided into “adult” and “childlike”. The parents were terrified for the baby, gave a separate room to him and restricted his access to other places, such as the kitchen and the living room. It seemed to them that a pot of the hot compote might fall on him in the kitchen, or that he might be exposed to the radiation of the TV in the living room. They even forbade him to run because he might fall and hit the battery.

But the curious child did not accept the situation and went to the forbidden places whenever the mother or the father was distracted from his person. He was afraid of being noticed, so he tried to do everything quickly. Each time something fell, beat and broke. His parents tried to distract him from the dangerous objects with the sweets. When the child began to be interested in some object, access to which, according to the parents, the children are strictly forbidden, they gave him something delicious.

The little boy learned that very soon and began to deliberately create such the situations. Only his demands increased, and he cried stronger and shouted louder. The parents, concerned about his mental state, asked me for help.

I managed to convince them with the great difficulty that they were wrong in the beginning.

 

The child must be able to explore the world in which he lives, and you must help him in that. Let him be an assistant in all the household chores. Just present it in the form of a game. Do you wash? Give him a small basin and let him wash his socks, the undershirt and the panties. Do you cook in the kitchen? Let him do the same and feed his toys. In the modern implementation of the household chores there are a few positive aspects. First, the child is always around and you can control his actions. Secondly, you have a great opportunity to explain to the baby the purpose of some items and show which of them can be dangerous for him.

You will have to face with the certain difficulties when the baby begins to communicate with his peers. Each child will play with his own toys. And your baby will want to have many of them and he will ask you for them. You will have to talk to him and explain that it is impossible to buy everything.

If this does not help, play with him in the game “A shop”. Give him the toy money and ask him to make the necessary purchases. When the money runs out and the baby cannot buy anything else, he will understand that not always the desired is available.

If the whims do not stop, think about it, maybe, this is a kind of the way to test your reaction. In such the cases, you must be firm and consistent. Leave the baby alone with himself, and soon he will calm down and change his behavior.

 

Talk to the child on an equal footing. If the baby knows that you will always help him to understand this or that issue, listen patiently, explain, give the advice, then the whims will be much less, and the child will grow calm and not spoiled.

The assertiveness

As it has already noted, an immoderately enthusiastic attitude towards the children, in which they feel the excessive parental love, forms the selfishness and the self-love (= the exceptional care for their own interests) in them. The child has a hypertrophied self-esteem that is he becomes undemanding to himself, but impatient and over - demanding to others. At the same time, some children are so tired of the parental love that they have an emotional strain, which is expressed in the tears, the whims and the stubbornness to everything that comes from the adults.

The child perceives the care of the parents in the different ways, sometimes as a manifestation of the love, sometimes as a hindrance and the suppression of his “I”. The numerous studies of the psychologists show that a child from an early age requires a certain balance of the custody and the freedom (^50%/_50%) harmonious development. He must feel that he is not only protected and surrounded with the care, but also given the right to make his own choice, understand and respect it.

For example, the baby begins to behave badly at the table. He refuses some dishes, asks for other food, demands a pacifier, although he has not used it for a long time. If you openly put the pressure on him in this case, he will continue his whims and even more be stubborn.

 

It is necessary to agree that he has become independent and can choose his own dishes and eat as much as he wants. Believe me, he will not die of the hunger, he will not let the life instinct die. Treat what is happening with the patience and the humor.

 

Many parents believe that they adhere to a democratic style of the education, but in fact this is not the case. Some children are literally not allowed to take a step by “the caring” mothers: “Do not go there! Do not take it in your hands! Do not play here”. This is just a part of the replicas that they can hear on the playground every time. Yes, the parents should protect their children from the troubles, but this is always so necessary? After all, a child is not a doll, not a piece of the clay, and in many ways he creates himself, whether we like it or not. He needs to learn everything and try everything himself, and without filling the cones this will not work. It is better if you explain to the child how to act in a particular situation, rather than overly patronize him and forbid everything. Otherwise, he will never gain the independence and the self-confidence, will always act on your orders and will remain infantile (and there are plenty of the examples for this).

Pull yourself together, be patient, and act like a wonderful mother who told her son when he came from the street: “You walk badly because you came clean”.