The divorce that can save families

 

1. SKIMMING…Read the article

Becky Branford's parents split when she was 11. Her father, Nick, moved out, and her stepdad, Ralph, moved in. It took time for the new family unit

to settle down — initially Ralph and Becky's younger brother, Matthew, found it difficult to get on — but "quite quickly, everything got better," says Branford, who is now 28.

"There weren't the rows and the tension. My dad bought a flat nearby and became re-incorporated into the family. He would have a turn cooking a meal each week at the family home and was on the dog-walking rota".

Now the Branfords function as a family of five. "I feel that I've three parents," says Branford, who works in online news at the BBC.

"Ralph is the opposite of my dad, he's quite emotional, and was good when we were growing up. I felt able to confide in him about boyfriends in a way I couldn't with my parents. He made my adolescence more enjoyable than it would have been without him.

"We often go out for the evening together now, and Ralph and dad joke about who should sit at the head of the table. Dad is my dad, but Ralph has become 'uncle' to my cousins."

Out of a difficult situation, the Branfords managed to forge a new — and very happy — family. Becky's boyfriend, Owen, comes from a similarly split-and-mended modern clan. They joke that they have seven parents between them and keeping up with them all is practically a full-time job.

Branford, from Camberwell, south London, says, "We have four parental engagements a month, just to keep in touch with everyone."

The latest divorce statistics were greeted with dismay. In 2003, the divorce rate rose for a third year and marital breakdowns left 153,527 children under 16 in broken homes.

Study after study has told us of the terrible emotional scars that can be left by divorce. But what we rarely hear is that once the emotional mercury starts to fall, those scars can heal pretty well.

No family relationships can ever be the same after divorce, but it may be that there are some positive aspects for children in gaining step-parents and siblings. It speeds emotional maturity and negotiating skills and may mean that a child has a whole range of interested, concerned adults hovering around, rather than the traditional two.

Far from drowning in misery, many children are relieved when their parents split up and pleased when they settle down with someone new. Tradition has it that children loathe their "wicked stepmother" and step-siblings, but is that really true?

Not all children are crushed by divorce: ever-adaptable, they settle into the new pattern of family life.

Branford's family was unusual in moulding so well in its new form as her father did not remarry.

"Things usually tend to change when both husband and wife have a new partner, "says Kathleen Cox, author of Children and Divorce: a Guide for Adults.

"While someone is single their former husband or wife may feel responsible for them and that can create tensions on both sides. But once they are settled in new partnerships things tend to relax, which makes it easier for the children.

"If a couple can be sensitive and generous in their dealings with one another, the children will find it much easier to settle and can even gain from having four loving parents around them."

This was Branford’s experience. "My parents handled everything amazingly", she says. "I marvel at how they were able to do it, but they are incredibly loving, lovely people and we never felt we'd lost either of them.

"Divorce can be horrible at the time, but it's not the end of the world."

From "The Daily Telegraph"

 

2. Memorize the following words

split розлучатися

settle down - улаштовуватися

rows – сварка, скандал

incorporated – приймати, включати

turn - черга

rota - черговість

confide - довіряти

adolescence - юність

forge - - фіг. сформувати

engagements – зустріч, побачення

dismay - занепокоєння

scar - глибокій слід, рана

mercury – ртутний стовпчик

siblings – рідний брат; рідна сестра misery - страждання

loathe - ненавидіти

mould - створювати 

responsible – відповідальний

tension - напруга

 

3. Give the main idea of the article using new words

 

4. Questions for analyses and reflection

- What do you think about the family relations mentioned in the article (choose you variant and explain). Use “I think…, To my mind…, As for me…”: 

a) normal         b) not normal           c) traditional       d) unacceptable 

- What relationship would you prefer in the similar situation if you were

a) a child            b) a mother (a father)          c) a stepmother (a stepfather)

 

 

TEXT 8

DO MEN REALLY KNOW BEST?

1. Read and translate the article 

 

Scientists claim to have proved that men are better at general knowledge than women.

The reason, they say, is in the genes. Males are genetically programmed to retain factual knowledge because it is a skill they need to compete with other men for status and power.

Women, on the other hand, put greater value on understanding relationships and family life and feel less need to prove themselves publicly. As with any rule, there will always be exceptions. After all, it was a woman, Judith Keppel, who became the first British winner of TV's "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? And romantic novelist Anne Ashurst won the last series of Mastermind. But in general, say the psychologists behind the research, men will do better.

Professor Richard Lynn and Dr Paul Irwing from the University of Ulster carried out two studies involving 1,500 men and women. For the first, they questioned students about six subjects: current affairs, health and recreation, art, science, family and fashion.

They found that men consistently did better in all subjects except family and fashion. Women were the winners on family matters, but the sexes scored equally on fashion.

Dr Irwing said: 'Women are more people-orientated whereas men are more object-orientated and interested in the public world.

'By definition, general knowledge is knowledge in the public domain. We are saying there's a difference in orientation between men and women and I suspect it's genetic in origin.'

There have been previous studies showing that men do better at general knowledge. But doubts were voiced about whether the tests involved were biased by being based on traditionally 'male' subjects. The Ulster psychologists claim their tests give a better balance between 'male' and 'female' subjects. In traditional exams such as A-levels, girls continue to do best. They tend, however, not to push themselves so hard. Research at Edinburgh University found that women tend to underestimate themselves. The study of 502 women and 265 men found that women estimated their own IQ at 120 while men rated themselves at 127. But not all women are content to let men believe they are brainier. Mrs Ashurst, who won Mastermind in 1997 - the same year another woman, Daphne Fowler, was named Radio 4's Brain of Britain — pointed out: 'Women won every year for the first three years of Mastermind. They nearly had to call it Mistressmind.

'General knowledge isn't about intelligence, it's about having a fantastic memory, and I think women are good at it because they notice things around them more and they remember them.

'Women just aren't as competitive as men. You don't see as many women on things like Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? because they just don't apply.'

From the "Daily Mail"

2. Memorize the following words

claim - стверджувати

gene – біол. ген

мale – чоловік, чоловічий

retain – утримувати, пам’ятати

compete - конкурувати

exceptions - виключення

мastermind – видатний розум; „Швидкий і кмітливий”

current affairs – сучасна політика

recreation – відпочинок, розваги

equally – порівну, однаково

public domain – державна власність, всенародне надбання

biased - упереджений

push oneself – намагатися відзначитися

underestimate - недооцінювати

IQ =intelligence quotient – коефіцієнт розумового розвитку

сontent - згодний

аpply – звертатися

 

3. Give your opinion on this text in English or Ukrainian

 

4. Discuss 

 

1) The study of 502 women and 265 men found that women estimated their own IQ at 120 while men rated themselves at 127. Why do women tend to underestimate themselves?

2) Recollect your studying at school – who studied better boys or girls? 3) Can we say that men really know best?

 

 

TEXT 9